Monday, November 19, 2007


I have been pondering many things in life lately. The biggest thought on my mind however, is this, “How can I better serve God?” I have such a desire to give God my best every day and in every way! But, sometimes I get bogged down with the details of how to best go about serving Him.

So, I decided to do what any woman in my position should do. I decided to pray, and pray, and then pray some more. I know that God has great plans to use me. After all He told me so in Jeremiah 29:11 when He said, “I know the plans I have for you, . . . plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. (NIV)”

I also know that right now my desire to really know the Lord is a driving force in my life. Further, I know that He has placed a calling on my life. So, I prayed and asked God to give me a life verse. I wanted to know what God would reveal. This is what He spoke to me, “I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will guide you with knowledge and understanding. (Jeremiah 3:15, NLT)”

At first, I really struggled with this verse. I questioned how God would work in my life through this revelation. I wanted to know who the “shepherd” would be that would come into my life and guide me with knowledge and understanding. For some time, I got bogged down with an error in interpretation. I was looking for someone to feed me, when what God was really trying to tell me was, “that I was to be that shepherd!” God was calling me to step up to the plate and share what He has revealed during my journey with Him. Oh my, talk about becoming filled with terror!

As I began to wrestle with this new wrinkle in my revelation, I thought to myself, God I have the first part of that verse down. I really do wish to be your shepherd and I desire to seek your heart. Your heart of service, Your heart of love, Your heart of compassion, Your heart of patience, Your heart for the things that will give You honor; but dear Lord I am so lacking in knowledge and understanding. Then the arguing, whining and complaining started in. “Lord, are you sure that this is to be my life verse?” “Lord, do you really know what you are asking me to do?” “Don’t you remember when I . . .?”

Of course, God was not going to let me weasel out of my responsibility, and little by little I began to realize that God was not asking me to be a walking encyclopedia of the Bible. He was not asking me to be a biblical “know-it-all.” He did not call me to understand all of His ways. He made it clear in I Timothy 3:16, the mystery of godliness is great. However, He did call me to share the love of Jesus with others, therefore making me one of His shepherds.

Having just finished co-leading, a nine-week Bible study utilizing the book “What Happens When Women Say Yes to God,” by Lysa TerKeurst, I am once again struck by the fact that I, in all my human frailty and failings, have been called by God Most High to lead a Women’s Ministry program. As the women who faithfully attended that study can testify, I am not nearly perfect, nor am I a walking encyclopedia of the Bible! However, through the study I did my best to share with the women what God has been working on in my life. I tried to share my faults transparently, and share how God was so faithful to see me through.

Hopefully, the ladies that shared this time with me realized that one does not need to be perfect to serve the Lord. His only requirement is that we willingly share His love with the world. Your calling may not be to lead a women’s ministry program, or to write devotionals. God could be calling you to cook a meal, collect food donations, form a praise band, host an in-home Bible study, sign-up for the church clean-up day, or any number of other ministry opportunities.

I would like to leave you with a bit of encouragement to join me on my journey, as I humbly “say yes” to God. Won’t you agree, with me to, accept our assignment, both the seemingly insurmountable, and the everyday mundane?
I ask that you join me in prayer for discernment and direction as God continues to refine us and adapt us to do the work of “our calling!” Please pray that we will have ears to hear and feet to follow His perfect plan!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Looking for a Better Way to Share The Joy of Christmas?

By now, you have probably realized that I just love my sisters-in-Christ from Proverbs 31 Ministry. So, it is my honor to promote a new e-book written by Marybeth Whalen. It is entitled, A Recipe For Christmas Joy. You can read an excerpt from the book at her web page (look for the posting from Tuesday, November 13th). Marybeth includes a link to order a copy for the low cost of $9.95, securely using Pay-Pal, on the right sidebar of her blog. Be sure to check it out, and allow Marybeth to assist you, as together you infuse your home with the "true" joy of Christmas this season.

Follow this link and check it out:

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Time For A Word (or Three), From Me

Usually, you will only find me posting some type of devotional about how I see God working on my heart and life. But, just lately, I have been feeling pressure to write. Just write, about whatever comes to mind. So, today I endeavor to do just that.

The other thing I usually try to do in my writing is to promote a positive attitude, to encourage and, or to bring to light how I am growing in my walk with the Lord. Alas, with this posting I am not sure that what I have on my mind to share today will actually encourage or lift anyone up.

The other morning I woke up after suffering a horrible dream. No, it wasn’t a scary dream; at least not in the typical “Halloween type of horror” that one usually associates with bad or scary dreams. Yet, for me the dream was terrifying, and left me shaken. In fact now a day later I am still feeling the effects of that ‘silly ole’ dream.”

For those of you who may be unaware, I suffer from early onset Parkinson’s disease. Since the time of my diagnosis I have been very accepting of this fact, at least I have thought I have been. I resolved from the very beginning that this new wrinkle in my life would not weigh me down with worry or fear. After all, I do firmly believe that God holds my life perfectly and lovingly in His hand and He will never weigh me down with more than I can handle. Because of this belief, it has been my fervent prayer that God would use this disease to allow me to be a better ambassador of His word. In other words, that God would use what the evil one intended for ill to be instead used to glorify my precious Jesus! I have prayed to carry His banner, even in the face of Parkinson’s disease, with “Strength and Dignity.” (From hence, the name of my web blog.)

Now, with all of that said, back to this ‘silly dream.’ In my dream I had apparently taken a job with a new employer and apparently this new job was located in a hospital, hotel, or some other environment that utilized an in-house laundry department. (That will be a key factor as my story progresses.)

One day at work, in this new job, I found myself “off” medication. (Just an explanation for all of you who know very little about PD. Parkinson’s medications are known to only work for a period of time, before the symptoms of the illness return. When one is getting close to time for the next dosage of medication, one can experience increased symptoms of varying severity. This period is known as being “off” medication.) In my dream, I found myself unable to speak clearly, and unable to communicate via writing as my writing is illegible even on a good day. I also found myself disoriented and unable to locate my new office space. As I was walking around, or shuffling around; picture Tim Conway as the old man from the series “Laugh In,” if you are old enough to remember that 1970’s show. As I shuffled around I was searching for someone to help me.

People would walk by me; shake their head and walk away muttering under their breath about “drunken old woman,” or other malicious comments. Nobody wanted to help me. Nobody even tried to understand me. And, I was becoming more and more panicky by the moment, which in turn was increasing my stress level. And, the stress was amping my symptoms up, and up and up. With this progression of symptoms I began to look more and more like a drunken old lady or a freak in a circus side show.

Finally, I thought I had gotten through to two generous men. One gently took my arm and began to escort me. I thought that he was taking me back to my office. They took me through a set of elevator doors and selected a floor button. Then when the doors opened they escorted me down a hallway then, less than gently, one of the men shoved me through a doorway. The door did not look familiar to me, but remember I was disoriented. I was dealing with what I lovingly call ‘park-fog.’ I was just praying that I was in the right place.

Immediately upon crossing the threshold of the door, the man slammed the door behind me, and the door clicked locked. I realized I was not in my safe office space, but rather was in a steamy laundry area. I turned to try to leave, but found the door locked. I tried to scream out, but my tongue was thick in my mouth and all I managed was a grunt and a moan. I heard one of the men loudly tell the other, as they walked away down the hall, “Stupid retards, they escape from the laundry room all the time. I don’t know why they hire those people anyway.”

At this point I woke up with my heart racing and the right side of my body in full tremor mode. In fact even after my morning medication dosage, I spent a majority of the day dealing with tremors. Obviously, this ‘silly dream’ had shaken me, quite literally!

So, what, you may ask, is the point to this story?

The point, at least for me, is that I have realized that I have not yet come to full acceptance that I have a progressive neurological disease. I have not fully come to terms with how this diagnosis is going to affect my life and the life of my husband and young son. I have been putting on a happy face and moving forward as if this disease is a very minor inconvenience in my life. To be honest, and accurate, on most days that is how I feel. My medications keep my symptoms down to a very tolerable level. I do have some pain to deal with every day, but what person past the age of forty doesn’t?

The problem is that for the past few weeks now my symptoms seem to be ramping up at an accelerated speed. In the past two days, since I had this ‘silly dream,’ they have been even greater. I am not sure if this occurrence is psychological, related to the increase in stress level at my job, due to lack of appropriate rest, or one of a thousand other reasons. But, to be truthful with you, it has spooked me! I didn’t like the ‘me’ in my dream. I don’t want to become that “drunken old woman.”

Remember, I cling to my faith in the Lord. I know that He has a plan for my life and I trust fully in His omnipotence. I trust that He will see me through no matter what my life looks like. So, I have been questioning myself, “Why did that dream have such a powerful effect on you?”

I am not sure if it is vanity, not wanting to be made fun of, or it could be that I do not want to be a burden to any one and I don’t like the idea of having to depend heavily on people to give me assistance. Could that be pride rearing its ugly head? Maybe I am dealing with greed. Not being willing to give up what my life looks like for an alternate, weak, un-healthy body. Possibly envy is part of the equation. Maybe, I am envious of others who do not have a progressive disease raging through their body.

I could probably relate the possible “Why’s” to any or all of the seven deadly-sins however the bottom line is that I need to give my worry and fear to the Lord. I am told in Matthew 6:27 and again in Luke 12:25, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life. (NIV)” In His word, God has told me that I, in my power cannot change this situation. Why am I fretting over this? God loves me. One of the verses that I cling to is Jeremiah 29:11. It reads, “For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. (NIV)” Who am I to question the Lord?

So, I am working on total surrender of everything in my life, yes, even my health, to God and His plans. My life is His. My health belongs under His control. My marriage, my children, my work, my future and in fact everything about me must be surrendered to his authority.

“Dear Lord, assist me in surrendering everything to you. I realize that I am going to have days where I try to assume control. I know that even my very best thoughts, plans and ideas for how my life should look pale in comparison to your vision for my life. I just need to get out of the way and let you take the wheel. That is my greatest desire. I don’t want the bumper sticker of my life to read, “Jesus is my co-pilot,” rather let mine read, “Jesus is my pilot.” I want you in the correct seat in my life. First place, today, tomorrow and forever.”


Okay, so I guess this turned into a devotional after all. I must admit to you that was not how I had planned to write this article. In my original plan, I wanted to complain, even gripe a little and possibly elicit a little sympathy from you.

Well, God has an awesome way of utilizing my fingers when I allow Him to do so. Therefore, you can save the sympathy for someone who doesn’t have the saving knowledge of our precious Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. For me, just writing this article has been freeing. It has helped me to put my life back into the proper perspective. I am not going to lie to you and say that my health position has reverted to my ‘pre-silly-dream state,” however, I am able to sign off now, feeling blessed, refreshed, more positive, and ready to face whatever God sends my way. Praise God, for He is good all the time!

Monday, October 29, 2007

"The Interview with God"

I was led to a website today that is moving and beautiful, I just had to share! Click on the link: Once you are on the web site click, "view presentation," watch the show, enjoy and become refuled and inspired.

Monday, September 24, 2007


Hello! I just wanted to let everyone know that I have finally published the latest devotional that I have written. You may find it here:

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Seeing God

Well, this is not the post that I spoke of in my writing yesterday, but I just wanted to share how God is at work.

We have been trying to sell my husbands truck for about nine weeks. We had placed it in a parking lot along a very busy roadway in our neighboorhood with a "for-sale" sign in the window. In the eight weeks that it sat in that parking lot we had one phone call about it. We were quickly becoming discouraged. We believed that it was God's will for us to sell this vehicle as we had worked out a deal to buy a larger truck, one that all three of us can ride in together, from my father-in-law. We are trying to be fiscally responsible with our money and not go into debt for this vehicle upgrade.

This week we moved the truck to another location, not in our neighboorhood thanks to the assistance of one of our friends. In the three days that this truck was in this new location, there have been countless calls; and praise God we think we have a buyer! And, as a bonus we are getting the price we needed.

God's timing is perfect. He knows our every need. He saw our faithfulness and has answered our prayer. I believe that this happened because we held fast to the right attitude. When we began to become discouraged we didn't get upset. We didn't begin to question 'why'. We just held fast to our faith and kept on praying.

Then as a final punctuation to this answer to prayer we learned today that it is going to cost less to transfer the title and purchase the tag that we had originally planned.

It is amazing how when we search for God and keep an open heart, He is so faithful to show us His love and He allows us to see His hand at work in our lives.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007


Just in case you have been wondering, yes, I am still alive and kicking. In fact, I have been kicking more lately that I would like. Kicking and screaming, due to factors that I have allowed access to my daily life.

I have several ideas for some writing kicking around in my mind too. I am committing that I will make the time to put those thoughts down on paper soon. Once I complete my mission, I promise I will share with you.

Friday, August 31, 2007

Lately it seems that I have been running a marathon and my body is better suited for only short dashes. (Very short!) Therefore, I have not kept up with my committment to my writing. Today, however, I did find something on another web blog that truly touched my heart and I just wanted to share it.

Follow the link and watch this. It is very moving, albeit kinda long, so stick with it until the end. You'll be glad you did!

Blessings to all!

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Butler Boy

For many long months this precious child of God would pray at night, "be a Butner boy." (At 2 1/2 he is unable to pronounce Butler correctly. LOL!)
Praise God the almighty Father of love and the giver of all good things, this little boy's prayer is being answered on Friday, August 17, 2007, exactly 365 days after he came to live in our home,
He will officially become a "Butler boy."
"Dear Lord, give his father and I wisdom, compassion and love to raise this 'your child' in a manner which he will grow to know You. I pray this through the shed blood of Jesus Christ, my redeemer. AMEN!"

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Carried Along by The Spirit

As I was reading from God’s precious word today, part of a verse of scripture captured my heart and set my mind on a fanciful journey. The words I read were from II Peter I:21, “For prophecy never had its origin in the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.” (NIV – emphasis mine)

Although this passage is written by Peter and is referring to prophecy spoken by men, through the Holy Spirit, as I read the words “carried along by the Holy Spirit,” a different sort of picture painted itself across my vision. I saw my life, and how it could be; no, how it should be, if I would take my selfish desires out of play and turn every issue, even my every breath over to direction by the Holy Spirit.

If I were to live this way how much more would I accomplish? How much more loving would I act? Would I react to people and their needs with more compassion and offer much more grace, grace, grace? Would my selfish desires begin to take a backseat to selflessly serving the Lord and seeking to promote His kingdom?

This same chapter of God’s word gives us me even more insight and wisdom for living a Spirit filled life. II Peter 1: 3 – 4 says: “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.” (NIV ~ emphasis mine)

I can see it, I can feel it; dear Lord I can almost taste the sweetness of it! Living a life of Godliness; a life where I can escape the corruption in the world caused by my evil desires! But, the key to it all is found in “Him.” Through the knowledge of Him! To get there I must read His word, I must converse with Him, I must humble myself to listen and then act upon what the Holy Spirit speaks to me.

This is no easy task because before long, sometimes before I have even closed my Bible, or finished my prayer, life comes along and smacks me in the face! I’m human; I struggle with anger, envy, selfishness, pettiness, greed, etc., etc. I am going to sin. I am going to stumble and fall.

What I have learned over the pages and years of my life is that it is okay to fall. The goal is to not allow satan to keep me down long. I am to reduce the time curve that I allow myself to stay wrapped in sin and away from my precious Savior’s will for my life. When I fall, I must confess quickly, my very life depends upon my restoration of God’s grace. I do not want to stay in the dark for long. I need the living water that Christ alone provides. I need my comforter; my guide the Holy Spirit; not just today, but every day, every minute.

“Oh Lord, you know that I desire to serve you as one who is “carried along by the Holy Spirit!” Soften my heart and shape my mind to receive the words that the Holy Spirit whispers softly to me. May I have the courage and conviction to act upon the direction that I am given. Help me to filter every thought, every desire through You! May I always seek to serve only you!”

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

What's In A Title?

When I was choosing a title for my personal web page I struggled with finding just the right thing. I wanted something personal, something that revealed a little about me. Finally, I decided to take two words from my "life-verse."

Proverbs 31:25
"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come."

This was my chosen life verse, not because I always manage to live my life with strength and dignity, nor because I am always able to laugh, no matter what my circumstance; rather I choose it because these are things that I aspire to.

I have lived my life as if I were studying at the school of hard knocks, so I feel that most of the time I do fairly well with the strength portion. At least, I have now learned to rely on the one "true" source of strength, the Lord Jesus Christ. However, having been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease in early 2006, my prayer has become that I will handle the progression of this disease, and in fact my whole life, in a dignified manner. This is an area that God and I are still refining. For me being dignified means that every situation in life must be filtered through Jesus. I must ask myself "How would Jesus respond?" And, the laughing part . . . well some days I just want to have a pity party and cry, cry, cry! I used to think that I had a pretty awesome sense of humor, and I probably did have a worldly sense of humor. Now, that part of my life verse speaks more to my ability to retain joy in the Lord; no matter what life throws my way.

The Lord and I have been on an amazing journey together and I look forward to what He will teach me next. I continue to pray that He will allow me to know Him better, and to serve Him fully.

Follow God

"And I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will guide you with knowledge and understanding." Jeremiah 3:15

The verse above has become one of my favorites. It resonates deep within my soul. It is the desire of my heart that I live my life as a "shepherd after God's heart" and that I guide other women to Him through the knowledge and understanding that He has given me. Without God, I am nothing! All I have, am or hope to become, I owe to my loving Savior.

My greatest desire is to see other women grow in their walk with the Lord. I pray that God will use me as His instrument to instruct women, encourage women, and to lead women to lay everything at the feet of Jesus. Too often, the things of this world vie for our attention. We become too busy, too burdened and then too stressed out and too tired. I want women to learn to shift gears, shift perspective, to gain focus on the eternal, not the immediate.

I want my sisters to know that my God is able! No matter what station in life, no matter how rich or how poor, no matter if they are young or mearly young in spirit; if we live our lives for the Lord, putting Him first in everything, he will meet our every need.

My God is faithful!

Friday, July 27, 2007

His Love is Amazing!

I stand firmly amazed at the depth of God's love for us. The way I see His handprints all over my life right now just makes me want to sing His praise!

I admit, that lately I have been struggling with some difficult things in my life, but I serve a loving God and He keeps speaking to my heart. He encourages me when I am down, and he holds me when I cry. He is my everything; my all in all.

God is moving in our Women's Ministry. He is answering our prayers. I know that this is happening because we have made seeking His will in prayer our priority. "Father, I worship you. I seek your face, and pray for your guidance. Lead me, and lead this ministry. May you be lifted up and glorified. May I serve as your handmaid. May my answer always be, Here I am, send me."

My Personal Blog

Well, I finally gave in to my desire to start my own blog page. I have the wegrowwomensministry blog that I keep updated for the women of my church, but I wanted a place where I could record some of my thoughts and ramblings in regard to my walk with the Lord. The Lord is so good and He is teaching me so many things. So, I begin this journey.