MEMORIAL FOR DAD

My Dad ~ Father, Son, Brother & Friend

A tribute to my Dad: Alfred Ray Bishop, given at his memorial service on July 19th at Glenwood Baptist Church in Glenwood, NC.

I think that it is appropriate that this is Father’s Day weekend, and I am here to speak to you about the life of my Daddy. A man we all knew and loved.

I have many thoughts and stories that I could share today of Dad’s compassion, humor, and love of life. However, today I would like to focus on the lessons I’ve learned while observing my Dad in the role of father, son, brother and friend.

In 1 Timothy 3:4 we read that a father “must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect.” On the point of management of the family, Dad excelled in leading by example.

Some of you know that some time back Dad professed himself as the “Head-Honker” of the Bishop family; all of his family. That includes those of us gained through birth, and all of you which were grafted in through love.

Needless to say I, being the strong-willed child of the family, didn’t think too highly of Dad’s self-appointed title. I felt that Dad wanted to control or remind me that he was “in charge.”

As you might imagine I provided Dad with the biggest challenge on the respect part of the 1 Timothy verse I read earlier.

Thankfully, by God’s grace, I decided to learn some facts about geese in an attempt to understand, and hopefully alter my thinking in regard to Dad’s self-appointed title and role within his family.

I believe that after I share these facts you, like me, will be convinced that Dad was fully qualified for the title of “Head-Honker.”

· Geese fly in the “V” formation because it cuts wind drag to the next goose in line. The lead bird has the hardest job because it is the one expending the greatest effort. It is not upfront to “be seen,” make decisions for its own good, or to be applauded as the strongest flyer. Rather, its sole purpose is to shoulder the load for the good of the flock.

· I learned that there is no single bird that is always in the lead. The lead will be changed often to conserve the energy of the entire flock.

· Finally, the “V” formation will shift to resemble more of a “check-mark” pattern when the flock encounters cross-winds. This moves the strongest fliers to deflect the blunt of the wind and allows the weaker birds to conserve energy thus will be less stressed.

Dad, like the lead goose kept us flying in true pattern; the path of righteousness before God. He knew that to accomplish our earthly flight we must file a flight plan with air traffic control, before conducting lift-off.

Dad spoke with the control tower on a regular basis; carrying his prayers, praise and petitions for his family, friends and loved ones to the throne room of God’s grace.

He served in his role as father, brother and friend by living sacrificially, utilizing his spiritual gifts of serving, teaching, encouraging, giving generously, leading and governing. He did these things not to be seen or applauded, but to help lessen the burdens faced by all of his flock.

Dad encouraged each of us to move into our full potential. He spent his life training and preparing us for this time when each one of us will be called upon to take the lead flight status.

He encouraged us with humor, grace, and love, helping us to move toward the only goal of lasting worth; Salvation through Christ Jesus.

Dad taught that serving the Lord is not a one-time thing. We must grow in our relationship to Christ each day; always being ready to give an answer as to why we find hope in Jesus Christ.

Dad taught us to deal with the winds of change, through faith in our Savior; unfailing, unflinching, unquestioning faith.

Dad taught us to depend upon the law of truth contained in the Bible. He lived James 1:6 which states, “believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea blown and tossed by the wind.”

Dad didn’t question God’s plan. Even when God called Mom to heaven before we were ready to let her go, Dad exhibited trust and faith in Him.

During my study of the geese, the “check-mark” flight pattern became an awesome word-picture culmination of Dad’s relationship to God ~ the relationship of faithful son to his father.

The “check-mark” flight pattern demands the cooperation of the entire flock. The flock must trust and respect the one who is to be the leader, and the leader must rely on the flock to faithfully follow.

Dad had the ability to assess the gifts, talents and strengths of each member within his flock. He made his assessment with humility and faith. He would consult the instrument panel, then trust It to guide in making any correction in course as necessary.

Dad had given over control of his vessel to the Holy Spirit; therefore, he could trust that his reading of life was true and not influenced by worldly factors. His instrument panel was in perfect working order as it was powered by God’s fuel cell; His Word. The knowledge that Dad lived his life trying to walk daily with Jesus gave all of us the confidence and ability to trust him and respect his opinion.

So, it is with great humility and love that I realize my Dad did deserve the title of “Head Honker.”

I would do well to emulate his example. Now all that is left to say is. . .

“FLY ON DAD! I look forward to rejoining you in our heavenly flock soon where we will all sing HOLY, HOLY, HOLY is He; to the ultimate HEAD HONKER!”

So. . .

My last post was full of excitement and I encouraged all to come back soon to hear more about the wonderful things that God revealed to me this year at "She Speaks."

Since that post, at the first of August, life has happened to me in a big way. I have been dealing with frustrating complications of my Parkinson's Disease. I have struggled with many direct attacks from the master of destruction; and I am just now beginning to feel able to keep my head above water.

During all of my trials I know that my Savior has been faithful and true and He has carried me when I have been unable to walk; physically or mentally. There have been many days when I only wanted to curl up into a ball and bury myself under the covers of my safe, warm bed. Jesus would take me by the hand and lovingly coax me up. He had a job for me to do; even if I did not want to face any part of my painful world.

On the days when I would run out of energy before 10:00 in the morning and would wonder how I could possibly keep going until bed-time; my Jesus would supply my need. I walked in His strength.

The days that my frustration level, at any little life stress, would jump off the chart; my Lord would whisper softly in my ear and untangle the knot of nerves that threatened to paralyze me.

I would recall His Word from Zephaniah 3:17; "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." I needed to know my Lord was with me. I needed to feel His might. I needed to believe that no matter how I felt, He always delights in me as His daughter.

I would love to report that today my life is restored to, what I call my "normal" life. Not that I am totally sure what a normal life should look like; but there are battles still to be fought. At least I am able; by my Savior's mercy and grace; to face each new day encouraged and renewed in my desire and commitment to serve my Master with praise and thanksgving. He alone is worthy!

"Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom." Psalm 145:3 (NIV)

Listening for the "Voice of Truth"

God is amazing. He takes advantage of anything and everything that we do in His name to reveal Himself and His love to His people.

This year I attended "She Speaks" on the speaking track. The prior two years I had attended on the writers track. I never imagined that this change would bring about so much change in my heart. During my life I have always been told that I was gifted at weaving stories together through the written word, but I have not felt much calling to 'speak' my writing. So when I signed up to be part of a speaker's evaluation group I really knew only one thing for certain. God had given me a message and I was to present it at "She Speaks."

The main title for both of my messages was "The Voice of Truth," with the subtitles of, Who Am I, and I'm Listening God, I'm Listening.

Prior to the conference I had prayed that God would allow me to be a light bearer for Him. I asked for Him to reveal to me anyone who needed a word, prayer, encouragement, pat on the back, hug or blessing from God, and that He would allow me to be His message bearer.

God delivered BIG in so many ways, and I was blown away.

I would like to share just one example with you in which God not only allowed me to 'step out for Him,' but also taught me again just how valuable "listening to His voice of truth" can be.

During one of my break-out sessions on Saturday, God interupted the speaker with the impression on my heart that I was to leave the hotel and find a copy shop and make six copies of my pen and ink drawing of Christ. His instructions were not to be argued with.

I did as God instructed and went to the nearest copy shop and made six copies. I did not know what I was to do with these drawings, but I made the copies anyway. It didn't take long for God to reveal His plan. He led me to use my drawing as a way to open up conversations leading to prayer, sharing and blessing others with His words that He placed upon my heart.

Just about the time I was thinking, "What a gift! God has found a way to make this 'sharing His love thing' easy for me;" I was walking to the book table to pick up a few books to take home and read and passed the terrace and a group of men who were holding hands and praying. At that moment I felt the strong impression from God that I was to take one of those men a copy of my drawing.

What? Wait a minute God. I have no problem speaking to the women here at the conference, after all I am co-leader of women's ministry and speak to and in front of women all of the time. But speaking to men, especially men that I don't know; outside of my comfort zone. Way outside of my comfort zone.

So what did I do? What any scared little redneck girl would do, I stuck my fingers in my ears and hummed "I don't hear you God, I know you're not talking to me," and proceeded on my journey to purchase me some books.

Well, wouldn't ya know, the book table was closed. So, since sticking my fingers in my ears wasn't working and God was still sitting on my shoulder and whispering for me to walk out on the patio and speak to that group of men I . . .

. . . decided to go into the prayer room and pray for God to change His mind, send someone else, or for the men to be gone when I left the prayer room to go back up to my room for the evening.

After spending time wrestling with God, and being blessed by being able to pray with and for one of my sweet sisters, I figured I had spent sufficient time to allow the men to disperse from the patio. Yet, God kept poking at my heart. And I kept arguing. "Lord, you didn't tell me which man to speak to. Lord, they will think I am crazy. Lord, I'm a woman, I know how to share your love with women, but I don't know how to speak to men."

I rounded the corner, praying that the men would be gone. Wrong! They were all still seated in the exact spot they were when I went by the first time. Again, I felt the tug of God to open the door and step out in faith.

But, my feet were trying to propel me on down the hall when I found myself seated in a chair looking out the windows at those men and I heard myself saying, "Please, don't ask me to do this." However, it was clear, I was going to do what He was requesting.

Garnering all of the strength I could manage, I rose to my feet, stood on wobbly legs and walked to the door and opened it wide. I stepped up the the table and politely said, "Excuse me guys. You may think I have lost my mind, but I feel strongly that God has asked me to come out here to you and give one of you a copy of this drawing of Christ. I am not sure who this message is for but God knows. He wants one of you to have this drawing to remember to keep your eyes focused on Christ in the difficult times to come. Since I don't know who is to have this, I would like to leave it here and God will work out who is to have it."

At that point I started to turn to leave them. But one man stood up. He reached into his pocket and took something out. He said, "Well mam, when I was coming out of the airport I looked down and saw this twenty-dollar bill in the gutter. I picked it up and as I did I felt the Lord tell me to hold on to it until He showed me who I was to give it to. Until this moment I didn't know who it was for, but I feel that God is leading me to give it to you. Would you accept it?"

To say I was stunned would be an understatement. I muttered something like, "Although I don't need the money, I will never refuse a gift from the Lord." I took the money stuffed it into my pocket and said to the men, "Thank you for your time and the encouragement that your faithfulness in prayer blessed me with," and then I turned and walked away.

I think that I floated to my hotel room, because I can't really remember walking back. I was filled with the joy of the Lord, and grateful that I had been obedient.

I am holding on to that twenty-dollar bill as I know that God will direct me as to where it is to go.

As I walk from day-to-day, I continue to be blessed by God, and I constantly strive to, "Listen to the Voice of God."

WOW ~ WOW!

Is God amazing or what?

I knew that "She Speaks" would bless my heart this year, but I was totally BLOWN away, ya'll!!

Don't have time to share right now, but please come back soon cause ya'll won't want to miss hearing some of the things God revealed to me this past weekend.

God is SOOOOOO Good!

"Going to She Speaks!"

This will make year three for me. I am as excited about the trip this year as I was the first. However, this year I have a totally different perspective and reason for my excitement.

Year one was all about 'me.' I was excited about the book I had written and I was sure that I would be offered a writing contract and become the next 'best-selling Christian author.' Ahem! Boy was I ever full of myself. Thankfully God poured out His grace and even though I didn't get a book contract, I saw God and heard from Him in such powerful ways that I left the conference realizing that God's blessings are far better than the things I had hoped for in my own very small rendering of what to expect from the conference.

Year two I had a bit better perspective. My goal for the conference was not to seek a writers contract, but rather to be open to experiencing God and to listening to anything and everything that He would reveal. Again, God showed up in BIG and POWERFUL ways. I was blessed beyond measure.

Year-three, and this year my reasons for attending "She Speaks" have shifted even more. This year I will be taking several ladies who are first time attenders. I am soooo excited because I know that this conference has resulted in changing the lives of many, many ladies. These friends are wonderful Christian ladies and I can't wait to hear what God reveals to them during this weekend.

I am also excited because this year I am praying that God will use me to bless others. No, I'm not looking for a writing contract, or hoping for a national speaking tour. This year my goal is just to be present with God. To allow Him to direct my every word, action, deed and prayer. I desire to glorify my Savior, and this year allow the spotlight to shine where it should; on my Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. May I forever praise His name!

The Terminator

THE TERMINATOR

 

I was asked one time, “How can you believe in God, when He allowed you to have PD?  Isn’t God supposed to be loving and kind?”

 

First, I don’t blame my having Parkinson’s disease on God, nor has my health status ever had any impact on my belief in God; other than in a positive sense. 

 

Second, God is loving and kind; among a host of other indescribable attributes.

 

So how do I maintain my faith and my belief in a Holy God?

 

The only thing that I have ever been totally convinced of, in an ever changing and unpredictable world, is that God exists and that He loves me.  The fact that I have PD doesn’t change that.  God did not afflict me with PD.  Many people think that God afflicts people with sickness and disease.  I do not believe that, nor do I find in His word support of that. 

 

It is my belief that sickness and disease comes upon people due to the fact that we live in a world characterized by sin.  In Genesis we read that the serpent was present here on earth from the beginning.  He was already at work tempting man to sin and turn away from God.  (See Genesis 3: 1-7)  And Adam and Evil obliged, and fell into sin.

 

God made His creation, you and me, with the ability to choose what we believe, and He granted us free will.  When, by our actions, we make poor choices; such as Adam and Eve made, God, because He is a jealous, yet just and loving God, allowed pain into the picture of human life.  In much the same way that those of us who are loving parents will allow our children to fail or experience hurt so that in the long run they have enough experience to make good choices.  If there were no pain and suffering we would have no need of God. 

 

A vast amount of our pain and suffering is self-inflicted.  Over the years of my life, I cannot begin to count the times that I have thought that I knew more about or did not want to listen to another’s advice on many issues, topics, or actions.  Subsequently, many times I would not listen to any advice.  Needless to say my way of doing life cost me great pain; pain that in many instances could have been avoided.

 

I am not at all suggesting that Parkinson’s disease or most any other disease is something that is caused or even contributed to by the action or lack thereof the patient.  What I am stating is that I know that you and I live in a world where there is evil, pain and suffering all around.  Just one quick look at the world and you can see it.  Often you can hear it, many can feel it, and occasionally we can even taste it.  The pain, hurt, harshness, ugliness, violence, sexism, racism, pride, jealousy, envy, lust, and other hurtful issues do not come from God.  “God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.”  (John 1:5 NIV) 

 

On this side of eternity with my Savior there will be pain and suffering.  Many saints who have done so much to further the cause of Christ will be struck with disease, involved in automobile accidents, be victimized in some brutal way; and many will die, an early or untimely death, at least to our human way of thinking.  And, unfortunately, yes, even sometimes babies or children suffer and die.

 

For any parent grieving the loss of a child, I can only empathize with how difficult it must be, and from experience I know that often parents want to ask God, “Why?” 

 

I don’t have an answer to all, or even any situation other than my own.  For me having Parkinson’s disease is all about learning to surrender.  I believe that God is calling me to do many things with Him.  (Not for Him, as He is very capable of doing anything and everything on His own.  ~ a topic for some other time)  When one has a health condition which impedes ones daily functionality and almost daily something else causes pain or another ability becomes consumed by the disease, it is almost as shocking as being diagnosed all over again.  Patients like me know that we are living with a disease, yet I don’t think that anyone is ever fully prepared for the changes that come with a progressive and incurable disease.

 

When I have those rough days, what I call “park days;” it can be quite easy for me to want to blame someone.  Or slip into a “woe is me attitude.” I must remind myself that I have two options; live a miserable existence moaning about my misfortune, and make all those around me miserable in the process; or I can choose to rejoice!  I have made it my personal goal to try to go through my life with strength and dignity and rejoice always in my Lord.  (Hence, why I have this blog.)  Plus, for me I truly see PD as a blessing and a gift in my life.

 

Some of you may think that my husband should call the men with one of those little white jackets that lace up the back when I issue such a statement; but hear me out. 

 

Prior to PD it was much easier for me to become prideful and think that I  had done a good job when sending a note of encouragement to someone that  was hurting.  Now, I know that it is the voice of the Holy Spirit who calls the need to my mind.  Prior to PD, I would more often than not, when involved in a disagreement with my husband, puff up my chest and say, “Well, I’m right.  I’m not going to apologize!”  Now, the Holy Spirit quietly whispers to me, “Apologize!  It doesn’t matter who is a fault.  You are commanded to love, and love is a choice, not an emotion.”  Prior to PD, I would desire to serve God, but sadly, often I wanted to serve in an area where I could shine.  Now, I not only don’t need to shine, I don’t want to shine; BUT I am very concerned with knowing if my actions, words and deeds allow God to shine through me.

 

This disease has brought many things into my life.  Many are, to minimize things considerably, not fun.  However, my relationship with the Lord has grown, and the peace, joy and contentment that I feel inside through my personal relationship and total dependence upon God is more than worth the price.

 

So, no matter what PD takes away from me in the weeks, months and years to come, I know that the hand of my loving Heavenly Savior will bless me more abundantly than I can even hope for or imagine. 

 

I say, give me your best shot PD!  I got the terminator of all suffering, pain and evil on my side and you cannot win!!!

 

 

 

 

Day of Rejoicing

“When we all get to heaven what a day of rejoicing that will be.” I am sure that most of us recognize those words from the song, “When we all get to Heaven,” lyrics by Eliza E. Hewitt, composition by Emily E. Wilson. I know that when we get to heaven there will be much rejoicing, but why until we get to heaven?

Today I had the opportunity to rejoice as I did something I have been longing to do for a very long time. I wrote this blog posting from my new laptop computer while sitting by the lake at the park. Although our weather here in southeastern Illinois has taken a turn back to more winter-like temperature and I did not get to sit at one of the picnic tables outside, I did rejoice and enjoy the beauty of nature from the interior of my van.

God has placed so much beauty before us and all too often we rush through life and never even notice. Today I got intentional about noticing. I watched as a squirrel looked for acorns that he had no doubt hidden before winter. I watched as a robin searched the leaves for a grub or worm. I watched a Canada goose swim and duck its head down below the surface of the water, and I enjoyed the tranquility of a quiet country morning. Each reason of its own to rejoice and praise His name!!

However, as I sat and took in the rich beauty of the morning my mind was led to a very dark morning; the morning that my Jesus was crucified. I began to ponder over the miracle that His life and death bring to those of us who receive Him as Savior. Were it not for His love and amazing grace, (two more wonderful praise songs) there would be no song singing about all of us getting to heaven. Thoughts along that line make me appreciate the beauty of nature that I am free to enjoy even more.

As I considered how dark this world would be if we did not have the love and grace of our Savior, my heart began to overflow with praise for the little things that I too often take for granted.

When I left the park and drove to pick my son up from school, I began naming a few of the things that I am thankful for, and as I named them, I rejoiced and praised God for His goodness. Sometimes this was done in silent reverence. Other times I shouted out “Thank You,” or “Praise His Name,” or even, “God is so good to me!” I found a CD with praise songs on it and sang along, just praising my Father and my Lord. It refreshed my soul and it was good, so good! I couldn’t help but smile as I thought about how my rejoicing in His many gifts must have brought my God a smile too.

This conscientious naming of some of the things I am thankful for and praising Him for His many blessings is a habit that I want to make a regular part of my life. So, now I’m challenging you! Will you join me and begin praising and rejoicing because of Jesus and what He has done in your life? Why should we wait until we get to heaven? If we have received Christ as our savior we are already living for eternity, and if we are living for Him; reading His word, praying and being quiet before Him so that He can speak to us, we even get glimpses of Him from time to time. So, as for me, I’m going to be rejoicing more and shouting the victory over the everyday wonderful blessings that God has so richly bestowed upon me. Are you coming along?

Just Praising Jesus (Some more)

"These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may remain in you, and that your joy might be full." John 15:11

I know that it has been a long time since I posted, and I appologize to whomever might be out there in cyber-land that cares enough to check my blog from time-to-time.

Today I have a couple of items on my heart that I wanted to share with all of you.

First, I received notification from the Social Security Administration that my application for disability has been APPROVED!!! YIPPEE! I have been doing a happy dance since the call came in on Friday, February 27th. (Well, these days it may look like a happy 'shake,' but you get the picture.) This determination was super speedy, as most people don't hear anything for anywhere from 6-months to a year after initial application. I applied on December 20th, 2008. So, from application to approval was just over 2-months and we had all of the holidays in that time-frame too.

Folks, I know that the Lord's fingerprints are all over that one!! And, I will continue to praise Him, no matter what the future holds.

Second, I wanted to speak with you about some of the struggles of life. Today I woke up with a terrible cough and cold. Not only did I wake up with the 'crud,' but so did my husband and son. That in and of itself would have been bad enough, but any type of illness, such as a cold, coupled with my PD really wipes me out.

Although the struggle that I have faced today is mild when compared to what many others are going through, I began to think about how we often cope with the difficulties of life. How do we cope when life seems to be out of control?

I have a very dear friend who is currently dealing with a broken relationship. The struggle to hold on to faith and to reach out to God for comfort are very real. During times of crisis such as this one would not usually find joy.

I also have several friends who are dealing with cronic and debilitating disease. I know of others who have experienced the loss of a loved one lately.

It is during these very real and very difficult life experiences that we have the ability to make a huge impact for the Lord. People are watching all of us who claim Christ as savior even more closely during times of stress in our lives. What a powerful witness we can be during those times!

Is this an easy thing to do? Not at all! However, Paul tells us, "We know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28 NASB)

I was listening to a Christian radio broadcast the other day and caught the tail end of a conversation between the radio host and a couple who had lost two of their four daughters at one time. From what I could gather they were shot and killed. The one thing that really hit me from the interview was at the end the radio broadcaster stated that this mom and dad had been able to meet the parents of the boy who killed their girls. The broadcaster asked the parents of the murdered girls how they felt about that meeting. Both parents were so gracious and they stated that the death of their girls was not the fault of the parents of the shooter. They said that as Christians we are all called to forgive as we have been forgiven. They said that blame and the what if's would not change the fact that their girls were gone, so they choose forgiveness.

Those parents really knew what it means to carry the banner of Christ high! Even in the midst of their very real pain and suffering they never once blamed God, nor did they loose the joy of their salvation.

Having heard that story, I had to ask myself, "How am I reacting to the stressors of life?"

This is what I discovered when I cut away all of the excuses and got through my 'pity party' and reached the bottom line: "When Christ forgives your sin and fills you with His spirit, you ought to know the joy of the Lord in your life." *1

Let's circle around to my opening scripture verse from John. It was Jesus who was talking and said, " These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full." These words were prayed by Jesus to His Father shortly before he was to die on the cross.

Now, if you are like me you are probably thinking, "Jesus is about to be crucified and He prays a prayer asking His Father for the disciples to have joy. What's up with that?

In his book, "Going the Second Mile," by Mel Blackaby, Mr. Blackaby explains things like this. "Knowing what had been entrusted to the disciples, His prayer is amazing. Notice that Jesus didn't pray, "Father make them to be great preachers. . . [nor did he pray] . . . give them insight to teach theology. . . Why was the Lord concerned about theri being full of joy? Because He knew their countenance would validate the message of abundant life in Christ. Their faces would testify that there's freedom from sin and hope in Christ." *2

As I look in the mirror today, does my countenance validate Jesus Christ and His life? Am I a testament to His power? Am I living our James 1:2, which says, "Count it all joy when you fall into various trials."

Okay, okay! I know how difficult this is! I know that the last thing one wants to do, when a loved one is taken too early by a senseless act of violence, is smile and shine for Jesus. Yet, the couple who lost two young daughters in just such a manner still managed to shine for Him! They maybe didn't have a smile on their face, but they made it clear that Jesus is in control of their lives and that they 'choose' to trust Him. They made it clear that their two daughters really belonged to God, and He had just entrusted their care to them until He was ready to call them home.

Huh? Oh, yeah, I said I was getting to the bottom line didn't I?

I am convinced that the Lord doesn't ask us to do things that come easy to us. However, He does ask us to do things that He, through His grace, has enabled us to do. It is God's grace that sustains us! Everything we enjoy about life in this world He created or allowed to be created. It is ALL HIS! This life is not about US! It is about us being created in His image (see Genesis 1:27), an image of radiance and light. Remember what happened to Moses when he spent time on the mountain with God? Talk about a joy reflector, Moses truly became one!

The sooner we begin to reallly believe and accept the fact, that apart from Jesus we are nothing, but with Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit indwelling us we are everything to God, the sooner we will be able to display His joy even during the most difficult time. When we fully grasp what it means to be a child of the King, our God most High, and we daily experience His love, it should not be difficult for us to be radiant for Him!

Off now to shine for Him. PD won't keep me down, nor will this cough and sore throat. What about you?

Disclaimer: I know that there are many people who are grieving and may have read this post and felt as if I slapped them in the face, rather than serving as an encouragement. If you fall into this category, please accept my apology. It is not my intention to hurt anyone, yet I ask that 6-months or a year from now you come back and read this post again. Read this again when you have been able to put some space and time in between you and the pain. I believe that if you know Christ, He will have restored you and carried you through the difficult time. Hopefully you will be able to praise Him for seeing you faithfully through, and your joy will be restored.

Just Praising Jesus

Well, I told you that I would come back and share when I had something that I felt was worth saying. So my profound statement for the day is . . .

. . . Praise God for He is so good!

After an intro like that I bet you expect me to have a wonderful story to tell you about something grand that has happened in my life today. Well sorry to disappoint but no earth shaking story to tell.

Today was just an ordinary day in the ordinary life of an ordinary wife and mother; except for the one extraordinary thing ~ I am a child of the King, God Most High! Me(and you too if you know Jesus)a wretched sinner. I am loved by God. The God of grace sent His very own Son to redeem me so that I could have a relationship with Him!

Now people if that doesn't make you want to say "God is so good," well lets just say I think you better check your priorities!

So, I'm gonna say, "Ta-ta" for tonight and go sing a few praise songs to my Jesus!

Dead Without The Spirit

Have you ever been in a place where you felt a sense of unease or discontent; almost to the point of feeling numb, or like you are just walking through the motions of life? This is a place where you perform the daily tasks of life in something of a fog. You are not angry, worried, or fearful.

You wonder and question what is wrong, yet you cannot put your finger on anything specific that is out of place. When you consider your life you realize that you have so much to be thankful for. You realize that you are truly blessed, especially given the economic times. Yet, you continue to struggle to find the rest, peace, joy, and contentment in your heart that you so long for.

For me, that has been the way my days have rolled by lately. I have wanted to write something to post here on my blog, but I have felt that I had nothing to say. For those of you who know me best you will know that it is a rare occasion when I can’t at least come up with something to praise God about. And, that is just it!! I do have many things that I should be praising God for. But, I just don’t seem to have the energy, or the heart to sit down and type anything out.

Given my health status I wondered if my Parkinson’s Disease was causing me to be suffering from apathy, or an increased level of depression. But, I don’t really feel apathetic. Nor, do I feel that my depression level is increased. So, I decided to pray and think about what I am feeling and see if I could come to some conclusion about this strange malady that I have felt was trying to consume me.

Today, Praise God, I think I may have been hit on the head by something.

“The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you.”
Romans 8:11

“Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him. By this he meant the Spirit,. . .”
John 7:38-39b

“But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth.” John 16:13a

What do those verses mean in relation to what I have been feeling lately?

What I felt God was speaking to me is this, “I have not been fueling myself through a connection with the Holy Spirit. I have not been tapping into the power of the Spirit living within me. I have not connected with the stream of living water, nor have I sought His Spirit of truth."

This must cease! I will not allow the evil one to steal another minute of my time, or waste anymore of my days by filling my mind with thoughts like, “I have nothing to offer. Who do you think you are? Who would want to hear anything you have to say anyway?”

In and of myself I may not have much to say, but the Holy Spirit who lives within me does have Much to say! He desires that I proclaim the love of Christ to everyone who will listen, through whatever means I have at my disposal.

No, I may not be gifted or talented in the skills necessary to get the message out, but I don’t need to be. I just need to allow the Spirit to speak through me. I just need to allow the Spirit to fill me with God’s truth, refresh me with living water and sit with my fingers poised over the keyboard and ask Him to be the driver.

As I typed those words, the lyrics of a song came to mind. "Oh, praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead!" (Sing along here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onxhvivQYfI )

Okay, so now I’ve got us in the mood to praise HIS name, go ahead and sing along with this one too! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-08YZF87OBQ

Be blessed everybody! I'm gonna run off now to have myself a little talk with my Savior and then listen to the Spirit to speak truth to me!

I know I have a whole new attitude now; now that the Lord has my full attention. I’ll let you know what He wants me to reveal soon, so come back and check me out again in a few days!

SERIOUS OBEDIENCE

“Knowing the correct password – saying ‘Master, Master,’ for instance – isn’t going to get you anywhere with me. What is required is serious obedience – doing what my Father wills.” ~ Matthew 7:21 MSG

Have you ever struggled over and over with a problem and not been able to bring any resolution to bear on the situation, much less been able to come to a point of peace? If so, then this post will resonate with you. If you have never experienced the feelings that I will discuss today could you leave me a comment to let me know your secret, because obviously I struggle; boy do I ever.

Sometimes I can be such a dunder-head. And, I say that with sincerity and acceptance. Since the Christmas break I have been struggling with the feeling that I was being sucked down into a black hole. You see, I have me a sit-u-a-tion, and I have been at a loss to figure out how to fix the problem. This hole was not only getting deeper, but I began to notice that the hole was filling with a great deal of mud and muck. Along with the mud and muck I began to notice that the air was also becoming foul.

I began to search for a way out. I didn’t like where I was at in my struggle to find resolution, but I was failing to see the way out. I pondered the issues facing me. I rolled them around in my mind. I struggled in my own way trying to find clarity and solutions to the dilemma which was my adversary. I stayed awake at night and read some books by a few experts on the topic. All to no avail.

By now a few weeks had passed and to be honest I was beginning to become quite peeved at the notion that I, a usually bright, articulate, caring and responsible adult could not find an answer to my conundrum. Then today, thankfully, the light-bulb moment finally came.

GOD! God came through! (Praise His name, He always does!) I finally (told you that I sometimes am a dunder-head) realized that I had failed to seek God and ask Him to provide an answer to my problem. Well, if I’m being totally honest with myself and you, I probably was blocking my mind from seeking God’s wisdom because I kinda already knew the answer to my problem is that I need to change.

It came down to the fact that I needed a good ole dose of being “seriously obedient” to the Lord. I was being stubborn and selfish. I can be that way at times! Oh, yes mam I certainly can! I didn’t want to speak to God about the issue because I didn’t want to hear what God’s will would be in this situation because I wasn’t ready to do His will. Are any of you ever like that too?

So, I realized that I had myself a case of serious need for repentance going on. I was looking for a shortcut. I didn’t want to give my total and vigorous attention to the problem. I wanted to be selfish and keep doing things my way and asking God to bless my pitiful efforts and have Him change the situation so that my way of doing things would work. How pitiful is that?
Today however, God finally broke through my toughened, calloused heart about this issue. I finally heard loudly and clearly, “Don’t bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need.” (Matthew 7:7 MSG) I realized that what I needed was not to be right, but rather to be happy and at peace. I realized that the only way for this to happen was for me to give in to God and come into serious obedience and do things God’s way.

I spent time on my knees confessing my need. I confessed that I was being sinful, arrogant and proud in my efforts to solve my problem in my own power. I cried out to God asking Him to reveal His plan and His solution. I asked Him to soften my heart to hear His voice and to follow His prompting.

Now I am feeling at peace. I know that walking according to God’s plan and direction will not be easy. Hence why I was so stubborn about seeking Him for answers in the first place. But confessing my need has freed me from the bondage of sin that was holding me captive. I may not get things perfectly right, but I have once again learned the lesson that I need to depend upon my Savior for all things, not just be willing to give Him the easy places in my life. When I am stuck between a rock and a hard place, well, that’s where and when I need Him the most. I just have to remember that and go to Him constantly in prayer and allow the Holy Spirit to lead me and keep me on track, confessing my failures as I go along to keep me balanced.

I am so grateful that God never gives up on me, even when I am being a dunder-head and am failing to live in serious obedience.

BTW ~ For a little insight into what my sit-u-a-tion was, drop in on Renee Swope’s blog. This week she is providing tips and encouragement to parents about all kinds of parenting issues as she teams up with the D6 team.


Further Verses to Consider:

Matthew 7:13-14 MSG –
“Don’t look for shortcuts to God. . . . The way to life – to God – is vigorous and requires total attention.”

Matthew 7:7 MSG –
“Don’t bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need.”

Isaiah 16:3 MSG –
“People with their minds set on you, you keep completely whole, steady on their feet, because they keep at it and don’t quit.”


"Dear Lord, give me a hunger and a thirst to always seek Him. May I always take everything to Him in prayer. Not as I did in this situation, as a last resort, but first and foremost for our God alone can show me the way through a difficult landscape. His guidance, love and grace are all I need! In Jesus name, Amen."

Blessings to you all!

Roots of Faith

“These commandments that I give to you to day are to
be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children.”
Deuteronomy 6: 6-8

"God, God, a God of mercy and grace, endlessly
patient—so much love, so deeply true—loyal in love for
a thousand generations, forgiving iniquity, rebellion, and sin. Still, he doesn't ignore sin. He holds sons and grandsons responsible for a father's sins to the third and even fourth generation."
Exodus 34:4

The other day as I was combing my hair and I was gazing into the mirror, I realized that my hair color needed to be touched up; my roots were showing. I have been coloring my hair for a while now to combat the gray. This task is something that must be done repeatedly, if not then I live with the effect that I noted in the mirror; the roots of my natural color peeking through at the scalp. This need for ‘touch-up’ was making me look old, worn and tired.

I relate my hair needing a touch-up to my need to keep myself spiritually glowing and renewed. To do this I must stay in touch with Jesus through reading the word and through frequent prayer.

I, like all sinners, have a great need to cover my less-than-desirable behavior with the love of Jesus. However, for this cover-up to take effect and hold, I cannot just spend a few minutes once every six or eight weeks reading His Word. Rather, learning to glow for Him requires that I spend quality time in His presence every day.

Remember when Moses spent time on Mt. Sinai with God? When he returned to camp his face glowed. This glow came not because of anything Moses had done, but simply from being in the presence of God. That is a most humbling thought.

As I thought more about my roots I realized a parallel between the roots of my hair and the deep faith that comes from being blessed to have an extended family of Christ followers.

I was raised with a built in support system that was ready and willing to keep me focused on following God. This support system came from an extended family of prayer warriors, teachers, encouragers, and ministers. Each one of these people, Uncle’s, Aunt’s, Mother, Father, brothers, sisters, cousins, etc., have held me up and have supported me along my faith journey. I realized what a rare honor it is to have such a rich history godly family members.

When I look around today I see so much dysfunction in families. Children are living in broken homes and are missing out on the blessings that can come from being a part of large Christian family.

One of the members of my extended family was my Uncle Locke. Uncle Locke was a minister who loved the Lord and served Him all the days of his life. It was he who introduced me to the Lord on April 13, 1974.

My Uncle Edgar was also a minister. I cannot name one of my Aunt’s or Uncle’s who did not know the Lord and each one strived to serve Him all the days of their lives. Some were vocalists and sang in their church choir, others were Sunday school teachers, and others worked in the private sector yet lived their lives in such a manner that God was given praise, honor and glory.

My mother and father were Christians who lived life using principles developed through their personal relationship with the Lord. My dad was a deacon and served in our church for most of my life. My mom served on many committees and was always practicing hospitality. It was a rare occasion when we did not have an extra mouth or two around the table for Sunday dinner.

Growing up I could spend time in the home of any one of my extended family members and my parents were assured that I would be flooded with wise counsel that is only developed through a deeply intimate relationship with the Lord.

Unfortunately having this rich and wonderful family of faith could not keep me focused and bound to the Lord. For many years I walked away from the faith. I lived a life characterized by sin. I had allowed earthly challenges, hurts, anger, and disappointment to cloud my vision. The evil one was all over any negative circumstances that came into my life. I began to listen to his lies rather than reaching deep into the foundation of my faith and turning toward God and the big roots of my faith. I began to think that the only way I could survive was on my own.

For many years I believed that God had forgotten about me. I believed that my profession of faith in Jesus had not been enough. I could see no other reason why I had been subjected to the pain and devastation that I secretly lived with. I could not understand how a God of love would allow so many hurtful attacks to come upon one life and rather than face my pain I chose to burry it under more bad decisions and sinful practices.

As I look back across the years and pages of my life, to those many years where I was not living out a life characterized by the love of the Lord, it was then, when I was the most venerable that He was carrying me.

Now with a life fully dedicated to service of My King, I can honestly thank God for the blessings of family life. As I attempt to show my boys what a godly mother looks like I draw from the rich well of memories that those who have gone before have left behind.

It is my greatest desire in life to live each and every day expectantly waiting for my God to show me where I am to be at work for Him. That my witness will leave a lasting imprint on the ones I love and that one day they too will look back and praise God for deep roots of family faith.


Thoughts to Ponder:

How did your family impact your life?
If there are Christians among them do they know how their witness affected you?
What legacy are you leaving for the next generation?

Just One Step

“That’s why, when I heard of the solid trust you have in the Master Jesus and your outpouring of love to all the followers of Jesus, I couldn’t stop thanking God for you – every time I prayed I’d think of you and give thanks. But I do more than thank. I ask – ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory – to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for his followers, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him – endless energy, boundless strength.” Ephesians 1: 15-19 (MSG)

Today I stood on the edge of a cliff. Although the drop from the edge to me looked perilous, I held tightly to the hand of another who reminded me to keep my eyes focused and clearly locked on him. He assured me that all would be okay as he urged me to just step off the edge; on faith alone.

Great preparation has gone into this moment in time. Many things have taken place to bring me to this point in my journey. I keep thinking to myself, “I’m not ready. This can’t be happening. This can’t be how it all ends.”

But the man beside me keeps urging me to just step off the cliff. He assures me that he knows what is best for me. He tells me that if I trust in him all will be fine.

So, knowing that I have done all I can to prepare for this day. Knowing that I can go on no longer as I have been, and being encouraged to learn to fly . . .

. . . Today I turned in the keys to my desk and left a job that I really enjoyed. I will no longer be associated with the title of “Administrative Assistant,” “Human Resource Manager,” “Medical Assistant,” or any of the other titles that I have worn during my employment career.

Today I stepped from the solid ground of employment off the cliff into the unknown future of applying for Social Security disability. My title will now be “Disabled due to Young Onset Parkinson’s Disease.” My future ability to provide financial assistance to my family is no longer under my control. (Nor has it ever been much to my argument with God of said point at times.)

Monday morning I will sit in the waiting room of a Social Security office, with a little white three-ring-binder in my shaking hands and pray that the documentation I will be providing will be carefully reviewed and then my application for disability benefits stamped “APPROVED.” My fate will be placed in the hands of a stranger. The only information that they will have to rule on my application for disability will be what is provided by my doctors and what they see going on in my body for the few minutes that it will take to process my paperwork.

Of course I know that my God has the situation under His perfect control. I must trust Him to work out the details and in the interim trust in His provision and grace.

Yes much has led me to this day; first and foremost being diagnosed with Young Onset Parkinson’s Disease in February of 2006, second, the very rapid decline of health with correlating rapid increase in symptoms. These two things have created many physical, emotional, and psychological challenges. Once my doctors began to speak about disability I realized that soon my life would be changing. I went into prayer mode. I knew that no matter what the future held, I could not make it through even one day without the guidance of my Savior.

I poured out my heart. I gave Him my fears, and my concerns. I specifically prayed that I would not have to apply for disability until our financial picture was such that the loss of my income would not cause missed payments, the need to sell off assets, go into debt, or sacrifice our outstanding credit score.

God answered that prayer and worked out the details in some amazing ways. I could no longer use that excuse. I knew that He was speaking to me telling me that the time had come for me to trust Him. I knew that He was calling me to stand on the cliff edge and jump off on faith in Him alone.

Today I begin this new journey; but I know I will not be alone for He continues to hold fast to my hand! He has blessed me with intelligent decisions and discernment of my situation. Therefore, today with my eyes focused and clear, I know that He is calling me to a life of even greater faith. He wants me to grow in faith in Him as He bestows upon me His utter abundance, so that I might do His work and teach others about His love, through His supply of endless energy and boundless strength.

Today I trust and I will not fall!

And the winners are. . .

Yep, yep, yep!! I said winners, plural. I know the contest was only supposed to have one winner, but I have had so much fun with this contest that I decided to have a grand-prize winner and a runner-up.

So, thanks to the random generator here are the winning numbers:

Random Integer Generator
Here are your random numbers: 25 7
Timestamp: 2008-12-13 19:26:46 UTC

That makes New Every Morning the winner of the Disciple's Cross Necklace and "The Shack" book.

And, Spring Fricks, as my runner-up you will also receive a Disciple's Cross Necklace.

Thanks to one and all for playing along! I hope you will stop by and join me again sometime!

Merry Christmas everyone!

OH SWEET BLOGGY EXCITEMENT!
I am oh so excited about this whole Christmas give away that Lysa TerKeurst has put together. There are so many opportunities to win some great prizes, but the best part has been that I am getting to meet other bloggers and read what they are posting about. Now that is what Christmas is all about; sharing the Christmas season with some new bloggy friends!

BUT now what I want to share with you is that one of these sweet bloggy sista's is a graphic web designer. The blog designer is Edie and her blog design company can be accessed by clicking here: http://richgift.blogspot.com/ Edie is offering to help with the blog design of the winner of her contest as part of the contest that Lysa started this weekend. Oh how I would love to have the services of a professional blog designer. So, check out RichGift Graphics!

One Cool GiveAway Day!!!


Greetings to all who have jumped to my blog via Lysa TerKeurst's blog and the "Cool Christmas GiveAway."

I have two items that I will be giving away. The first is a hand-crafted "Disciples Cross."








The second item is a copy of "The Shack," by William P. Young.










If you would like a chance to win these items, please click on the word “comment” below and make sure that you include your email address or a way that I can contact you to get your mailing address.

Oh, and don’t forget, once you have entered my contest, click on the Christmas tree at the top of this post to take you back to Lysa’s blog and surf some of the other awesome contests being offered today.

Thanks for stopping by, and good luck!!

BTW, I will leave this contest open until next Friday December 12th. I will notify the winner by Monday the 15th and will post the winner and a link to your blog (if you have one).

People Passion

“Go after a life of love as if your life depended on it – because it does.”
I Corinthians 14:1 (MSG)

I have been pondering my proclivity for seeking to honor God in the way I love others. If I am to be honest with myself, and you, I must say that I have not been overly zealous in seeking out relationships with new people.

My natural bent is not that of “social butterfly.” I am usually the shy, quiet one who ends up playing with the children, when given a choice, at gatherings, parties or social events. This allows me to protect myself from putting my feelings out there and allowing for opportunity to be hurt. It also prevents me from utilizing my spiritual gifts to minister to the heart of those around me, and blocks me from receiving some of God’s best gifts.

So lately, when reading God’s word, He has impressed upon my heart a need to emerge from my cocoon of safety. It is time for me to become what God intended me to be all along; an approachable, caring, compassionate woman of God. A woman who humbly shares the rough places of life that God’s grace has carried me through.

Last year at the annual conference “She Speaks,” hosted by Proverbs 31 during one particularly moving session, each lady in attendance was asked to take any person, possession, task, item, or “thing” that was holding them back from surrendering to God completely and name the “thing” on a slip of paper. The paper with the “thing” spelled out on it was then to be carried to the front of the room and laid at the foot of a cross that had been set up for this purpose.

Participants were instructed that as they placed their constraint down they should retrieve another slip of paper from the foot of the cross. These “replacement” papers displayed various scripture messages. We were all told at the beginning of the invitation exercise that each verse had been prayed over; the Proverbs 31 team had prayed that each woman in attendance would receive the exact scripture that God would use to speak to hearts and open doors.

During that invitation the scripture verse that I received was, “for you are a chosen (woman). You are a royal priest, a holy (daughter). God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.” I Peter 2:9

Oh my, what an impact that verse has had on my life. I keep it tucked into my bible and I read it often. I realize that I have been “chosen” to “proclaim His truth in everyday speech.” I Corinthians 14:3 (MSG) I am not to speak with an offensive, I’m better than you attitude, but from a humble servants heart.

I am trying to live out my status as “royal priest” by sharing what God is doing in my everyday life. I am utilizing my God given gifts and talents as an “adopted daughter of the King God Most High.” I utilize this blog space to share the things He teaches me, I pray and study His word and then teach others what insight God imparts to me by leading bible studies, and I am beginning to embrace face-to-face, one-on-one interaction with my wonderful sisters in Christ as I share my stories and experiences.

However, I am not doing any of these things on my own; I am only capable of these acts of service through His well-spring of love. The thing I am learning through all of this is that you cannot out give God. The more I surrender to His will for my life; the more I walk down the path He has laid out for me, the more I experience His love and grace.

His blessings are new each morning. I am developing friendships that I once longed for. I am being allowed to share the love and acceptance that God extended to me to others. I feel more fulfilled and alive than at any other point in my life. (This coming from a woman with a progressive neurological disease, pretty impressive what God can do, eh?)

My God is so good! It is my desire to share His love, goodness and mercy so that others may experience the joy that only He can provide.

PD Delivers Two More Arrows To The Heart

“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”
Proverbs 11:2 (NIV)

Was it a strike to my pride? Or just more arrows to my heart; launched from the ever present bow of Parkinson’s Disease?

Recently I took my son to parent night at school. During this particular session everyone was to dress in pajamas, bring a blanket and sit on the floor to listen to stories and then sing songs.

Needless to say, I had to check my pride at the door as I walked in sporting my blue and black (racing) cane. I looked around the room at all of the moms and kids in their p.j.’s, looking happy and content. As I surveyed the room several moms and children had already begun to spread out blankets and get ready for the fun ahead. I began to feel out-of-place and “old” as I realized that there was no way I would be able to get down into the floor and sit with my son. I knew that if I got down onto that cold, hard tile floor I would not be able to get back up again.

This experience launched arrow one into my heart. I was sad and felt bad for my beautiful son. All of the other children had young, healthy moms who were sitting in the floor with them. They were laughing and having fun listening to the stories and singing the songs. I had to sit at the back of the room at a table, while my son sat alone on his blanket without his mom to laugh with.

The second arrow came with stealth, drove deep into my mind, and has caused unease within my soul. I was putting together a scrapbook page for my son’s third birthday. The project was nearly complete when I decided I wanted to add a large handcrafted number three to finish the two-page layout off.

When I started to sketch the three, my mind went totally blank. I could NOT remember what a three looked like, much less how to write one! Talk about freaking me out. I knew that I could look around the room and find something with the number three on it, but I wanted to see how long my mind would block the memory, so I purposefully did not look around.

Instead I sat and tried to visualize numbers in my head. I could see every number one through ten, except for the missing three. This strange blockage lasted for almost thirty minutes and by then I was almost to the point of tears. Then suddenly it was like a fog lifted from my brain. I began to be able to visualize the missing “3” in my mind.

As I look back, parent night is now but a memory, and thankfully I am retaining the ability to visualize all of my numbers. (At least for the moment.) But, these two events have caused me to evaluate my health status. I am beginning to ask myself, “What will my health be like in five to ten years?” I am questioning if my seemingly rapid increase in symptoms are being caused by the PD itself, or if one of my medications are to blame. I do know that one of my meds can cause side-effects that are similar to the cognitive difficulties I have been dealing with lately. I am also questioning my diagnosis. I have wondered if maybe there is something besides PD going on with me. Maybe I am just being overly cautious. Maybe I am just freaking out a little because a dear friend just had her diagnosis changed from PD to MSA (Multiple System Atrophy), and our symptoms are quite similar.

At this point I am feeling much more humble. God has my attention and my praise! Even during this time of mental reevaluation and readjustment to having a progressive neurological disease, and given the concern I am feeling for the future status of my health; I am able to praise God for I know that He loves me and He is in control. I give Him praise for situations which teach me humility for it is truly my desire to grow in His wisdom.

Dear Lord, keep me serving You in humility. Bless me with Your wisdom. I have no power or strength of my own, but through Jesus all things are possible. Allow me to cling tightly to Your promises and to lean upon You for my support and strength. I love You and I praise You. In Jesus name, Amen.

Life’s Little Inconveniences

Will you rely on him for his great strength? Will you leave your heavy work to him?
Job 39:11 (NIV)

Once upon a time there was a young woman who was quite physically strong and fiercely independent. She was known to take on jobs that most women would not be willing to consider. She worked as a roofer, a painter and even as a forest-fire fighter. She was more than willing to get her hands dirty and take care of most challenges in life on her own terms. She did minor car maintenance herself; oil changes, replace spark plugs, rotate tires, check belts, etc. She did not need to call a handy-man to assist with plumbing or carpentry repairs for her home; she gladly tackled such projects on her own. She did not have a gardener. She kept her yard mowed, the hedges trimmed, and the walkway edges clipped. Did I say this woman was quite self-sufficient?

Turn the pages in the book of life. At a relatively young age this woman is now facing a progressive neurological disease: Young Onset Parkinson’s Disease. (Just in case there is any doubt, this woman is me.)

My once fierce independence has become incredibly interdependent and dependent. I have been blessed with a wonderful husband and have learned that I can count on him in interdependence. I also have a dependent relationship. I am a child of God, and as such I am blessed with a relationship of utter dependence upon Him.

I no longer fight for independence. I have learned that I am much more blessed and fulfilled when I live in dependence on God and in interdependence with my Husband. I can’t say that I got to this point without a fight. I think that most of the life lessons that I have learned have come about with more than a few battle scars. My dad always said, “Joan has to learn everything the hard way.” He was right!

Now that I am facing an uncertain future with my health limitations, I have had to swallow my pride; yes I said “swallow my pride,” and ask my husband to assist me with many things that I have always done for myself; not only the more physical tasks such as car repairs, carpentry and the like, but also some tasks of daily living. Many days I need assistance to cut my meat at dinner. I am no longer able to beat eggs. I would require assistance to brush my teeth were it not for the use of a battery operated spin-brush. You see, even some small tasks are now impossible because of the quick repetitive motion required.

With Parkinson’s Disease repetitive motion tends to put muscle groups into a state of arrest. Think of the heart when it goes into cardiac arrest. The normal rhythm is interrupted, the beat becomes irregular and then the heart stops altogether. This is very similar to what happens within my nerves and muscles. I can begin the action but as I continue to place my body under the demand of those quick repetitive motions, the neural impulses begin to fire irregularly and the muscle freezes up. Often this will cause muscle cramps and intense pain.

Relying upon my husband’s help for these normal life tasks is, well, humbling to say the least. (Not that I don’t need a good dose of humility from time-to-time.) God has blessed me with a greater love for my husband through these stressful times. My husband is accepting me, assisting me when needed, and loving me in spite of an unknown future. What woman wouldn’t respond to an unconditional love like that?

Within these struggles I am being blessed by learning how to live more fully dependent upon God. He has become my strength in weakness, my comforter when I am feeling down due to the loss of physical abilities, my solid rock during the ever changing progression of symptoms. God is blessing me by growing my faith in Him. He is teaching me that when I am weak, He is strong and mighty. Within these struggles I am being blessed by learning how to live more fully dependent upon God. He is teaching me that my “salvation requires [me] to turn back to [God] and stop [my] silly efforts to save [myself]. [My] strength will come from settling down in complete dependence on [God] — The very thing [I’ve] (for far too long) been unwilling to do.” Isaiah 30:15 (MSG)

I am so grateful that God is a patient God. I am grateful that during my years of stubborn independence He loved me enough to carry me along. I am grateful that He is now teaching me to trust fully in His divine wisdom, plan and calling on my life. In fact, even with the pain, limitations and struggles that PD presents in my life, I have come to realize that this disease is a strange sort of gift to me. God is allowing me to use what was meant for harm to give praise and glory to my God and Savior Jesus. I am learning through suffering, due to illness, not to live my “life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God.” 1 Peter 4:2 (NIV)

So, if these little life inconveniences are a tool that can be used to focus just a small portion of glory and honor upon the Creator of all life, I say, “Bring it on!”


Related Verses:

Your salvation requires you to turn back to me and stop your silly efforts to save yourselves. Your strength will come from settling down in complete dependence on me— The very thing you've been unwilling to do. Isaiah 30:15 (MSG)

Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God. 1 Peter 4:1&2 (NIV)

Learning to Live in Sufficient Grace

“But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you,
for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

Any serious illness can test ones faith and belief in God. But for those who suffer, like myself, with a chronic, debilitating disease every day brings about confusion, weakness, worry and fear. None of these attributes support an attitude which will allow me to see God in my everyday life, nor will they bless me in my daily walk with the Lord. My goal then becomes, “How do I learn to live in the sufficiency of His grace, trusting Him with every aspect of my daily life, laying it all down at the foot of the cross.

In January 2006 I was diagnosed with Young Onset Parkinson’s Disease. Due to my ego and belief that I was almost bulletproof, I thought to myself, “No big deal. So I’ll shake a little. I can handle that.” Of course, I had done the research and I knew very well that a diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease can bring a broad variety of symptoms. I just wanted to believe that my experience would be a slow progression and I would only be challenged by mild symptoms at worst.

That of course has not been my experience. As I have studied and researched this disease and have lived with it and the symptoms. I am learning just how much of my daily life can be impacted by a non-curable, progressive neurological disease. In a physicians P.D. lingo one of the tests used to measure a patients progression rate is what is called P.D.R.S., or Parkinson’s Disease Rating Scales. In the almost three years since my diagnosis I have gone from a PDRS score of 2 to a current rating of 57. The rating scale reflects 0 as being no symptoms to a top score of 100. This rapid increase in symptoms has me classified as progressing at a rate somewhere in the top 5 – 10% of all PD patients.

Given these facts, how then am I coping with the rapid changes in my physical condition? I am learning to rely fully on the power and strength of Jesus Christ. I have often heard it said that one cannot live a life of faith if they are never pushed beyond the point that their own human ability can carry them. It really doesn’t take much faith to walk or run when one is fully healthy. It doesn’t take much faith to walk into a job everyday prepared to give your best work to your employer when the mind and body are healthy and whole.

However, when it takes every bit of energy one can muster up just to get out of bed in the morning and get dressed to go into a place of work due to physical limitations, faith and reliance on God is increased. When one can no longer process verbal requests from co-workers and must ask them to write their requests down so that no mistakes are made and nothing is forgotten or overlooked, ones faith and reliance on God is increased. When at the end of the work-day one has no physical strength or stamina left to give, and there are still the responsibilities of cooking a meal for the family, playing with a child, or giving time and attention to ones husband, faith and reliance in God’s strength and provision is increased.

I am learning that to get through each day I must ask God to help me to focus on the tasks that He puts on my to-do list. There will be many tasks on my to-do list that never get attended to, and I have learned to release these items to God. He knows what activities are required in my job, in my ministry, and for my family and home life. For those required activities He will bless me with the ability to complete tasks and touch lives with the love of Jesus. The only requirement is that I remain in contact or communion with Him in order that I may have wisdom and insight as to what God has placed on my priority list for me to accomplish each day. This is where my challenge comes in, and where the Lord blesses me with the most opportunities to live by faith in Him.

Over the next few weeks I am going to try to look at a few of my daily challenges and share how I am learning to see God’s hand in the midst of my daily life. I will share what God is teaching me and how my faith is being increased as a result.

I have the honor and responsibility to share the wonders of Jesus with those around we who are lost and alone. Once again, I pray that God will bless me with the opportunities to “boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength! Praise His name.