WONDERINGS OF MY MIND
For many years I have wondered what it would be like to get older and have to visit the doctor on a regular basis. I wondered if, in my older years, I too would need to carry a pharmacy with me when I travel. I have wondered if I would ever be in the position of having to choose between buying groceries and buying my medications.
Well, it seems that some of those questions are already being answered for me. Although I don’t consider myself to be “older” just yet, my body has taken to feeling old. I guess that is just one of the down sides to being diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease.
As I prepare for vacation I have answered the question about carrying a pharmacy with me when traveling. Check the “YES” box on that one! I had to check each of my prescriptions and ensure that I would have enough of my medication to see me through the entire length of my trip, and call the pharmacy for a refill on the one that would run out during my trip. I just hope that the airline doesn’t think I am a druggie!
I also have realized that were it not for insurance, the cost of my drugs would be HUGE! So, I am thanking God that my husband has excellent insurance through his job. I truly feel for those on a fixed income who have no such benefit.
With PD not only do I have to visit my neurologist, who now wants to see me once every three months, but I also visit a Movement Disorder Specialist once every six months. So, I think I can safely mark the “visit the doctor on a regular basis” box as “YES,” too.
I guess that one of my biggest “wonderings” of all though would have to be, wondering what my life will look like in five, ten, twenty or more years into the future. I realize that Parkinson’s Disease is a progressive neurological disease and I know that my health will continue to deteriorate. However, I am doing better at taking a proactive approach to my health. I am trying to eat more healthy, and to exercise on a regular basis. I know that my mental outlook has a great deal to do with how I feel from day to day. But, most importantly I have surrendered my disease, my health and my life to the Lord’s direction.
It is strange to some people how I often say that even with all of the bad things that come from Parkinson’s Disease, having Parkinson’s Disease has not been the most terrible thing to enter into my life. Not at all! In fact, Parkinson’s Disease is teaching me to rely more fully on my Heavenly Father, to have great faith and dependence on His strength to see me through each day. So, in many ways I am grateful for carrying this thorn-in-the-flesh and I join with the Apostle Paul in saying, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (II Corinthians 12: 9 & 10 NIV)
My prayer in the midst of all of this is that I will act with strength and dignity, and that I will continually Praise the Lord!!