Strength and Dignity

2010-08-24T19:11:00.002-05:00

MEMORIAL FOR DAD

My Dad ~ Father, Son, Brother & Friend

A tribute to my Dad: Alfred Ray Bishop, given at his memorial service on July 19th at Glenwood Baptist Church in Glenwood, NC.

I think that it is appropriate that this is Father’s Day weekend, and I am here to speak to you about the life of my Daddy. A man we all knew and loved.

I have many thoughts and stories that I could share today of Dad’s compassion, humor, and love of life. However, today I would like to focus on the lessons I’ve learned while observing my Dad in the role of father, son, brother and friend.

In 1 Timothy 3:4 we read that a father “must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect.” On the point of management of the family, Dad excelled in leading by example.

Some of you know that some time back Dad professed himself as the “Head-Honker” of the Bishop family; all of his family. That includes those of us gained through birth, and all of you which were grafted in through love.

Needless to say I, being the strong-willed child of the family, didn’t think too highly of Dad’s self-appointed title. I felt that Dad wanted to control or remind me that he was “in charge.”

As you might imagine I provided Dad with the biggest challenge on the respect part of the 1 Timothy verse I read earlier.

Thankfully, by God’s grace, I decided to learn some facts about geese in an attempt to understand, and hopefully alter my thinking in regard to Dad’s self-appointed title and role within his family.

I believe that after I share these facts you, like me, will be convinced that Dad was fully qualified for the title of “Head-Honker.”

· Geese fly in the “V” formation because it cuts wind drag to the next goose in line. The lead bird has the hardest job because it is the one expending the greatest effort. It is not upfront to “be seen,” make decisions for its own good, or to be applauded as the strongest flyer. Rather, its sole purpose is to shoulder the load for the good of the flock.

· I learned that there is no single bird that is always in the lead. The lead will be changed often to conserve the energy of the entire flock.

· Finally, the “V” formation will shift to resemble more of a “check-mark” pattern when the flock encounters cross-winds. This moves the strongest fliers to deflect the blunt of the wind and allows the weaker birds to conserve energy thus will be less stressed.

Dad, like the lead goose kept us flying in true pattern; the path of righteousness before God. He knew that to accomplish our earthly flight we must file a flight plan with air traffic control, before conducting lift-off.

Dad spoke with the control tower on a regular basis; carrying his prayers, praise and petitions for his family, friends and loved ones to the throne room of God’s grace.

He served in his role as father, brother and friend by living sacrificially, utilizing his spiritual gifts of serving, teaching, encouraging, giving generously, leading and governing. He did these things not to be seen or applauded, but to help lessen the burdens faced by all of his flock.

Dad encouraged each of us to move into our full potential. He spent his life training and preparing us for this time when each one of us will be called upon to take the lead flight status.

He encouraged us with humor, grace, and love, helping us to move toward the only goal of lasting worth; Salvation through Christ Jesus.

Dad taught that serving the Lord is not a one-time thing. We must grow in our relationship to Christ each day; always being ready to give an answer as to why we find hope in Jesus Christ.

Dad taught us to deal with the winds of change, through faith in our Savior; unfailing, unflinching, unquestioning faith.

Dad taught us to depend upon the law of truth contained in the Bible. He lived James 1:6 which states, “believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea blown and tossed by the wind.”

Dad didn’t question God’s plan. Even when God called Mom to heaven before we were ready to let her go, Dad exhibited trust and faith in Him.

During my study of the geese, the “check-mark” flight pattern became an awesome word-picture culmination of Dad’s relationship to God ~ the relationship of faithful son to his father.

The “check-mark” flight pattern demands the cooperation of the entire flock. The flock must trust and respect the one who is to be the leader, and the leader must rely on the flock to faithfully follow.

Dad had the ability to assess the gifts, talents and strengths of each member within his flock. He made his assessment with humility and faith. He would consult the instrument panel, then trust It to guide in making any correction in course as necessary.

Dad had given over control of his vessel to the Holy Spirit; therefore, he could trust that his reading of life was true and not influenced by worldly factors. His instrument panel was in perfect working order as it was powered by God’s fuel cell; His Word. The knowledge that Dad lived his life trying to walk daily with Jesus gave all of us the confidence and ability to trust him and respect his opinion.

So, it is with great humility and love that I realize my Dad did deserve the title of “Head Honker.”

I would do well to emulate his example. Now all that is left to say is. . .

“FLY ON DAD! I look forward to rejoining you in our heavenly flock soon where we will all sing HOLY, HOLY, HOLY is He; to the ultimate HEAD HONKER!”

2009-11-17T18:21:00.003-06:00

So. . .

My last post was full of excitement and I encouraged all to come back soon to hear more about the wonderful things that God revealed to me this year at "She Speaks."

Since that post, at the first of August, life has happened to me in a big way. I have been dealing with frustrating complications of my Parkinson's Disease. I have struggled with many direct attacks from the master of destruction; and I am just now beginning to feel able to keep my head above water.

During all of my trials I know that my Savior has been faithful and true and He has carried me when I have been unable to walk; physically or mentally. There have been many days when I only wanted to curl up into a ball and bury myself under the covers of my safe, warm bed. Jesus would take me by the hand and lovingly coax me up. He had a job for me to do; even if I did not want to face any part of my painful world.

On the days when I would run out of energy before 10:00 in the morning and would wonder how I could possibly keep going until bed-time; my Jesus would supply my need. I walked in His strength.

The days that my frustration level, at any little life stress, would jump off the chart; my Lord would whisper softly in my ear and untangle the knot of nerves that threatened to paralyze me.

I would recall His Word from Zephaniah 3:17; "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." I needed to know my Lord was with me. I needed to feel His might. I needed to believe that no matter how I felt, He always delights in me as His daughter.

I would love to report that today my life is restored to, what I call my "normal" life. Not that I am totally sure what a normal life should look like; but there are battles still to be fought. At least I am able; by my Savior's mercy and grace; to face each new day encouraged and renewed in my desire and commitment to serve my Master with praise and thanksgving. He alone is worthy!

"Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom." Psalm 145:3 (NIV)

2009-08-07T10:28:00.002-05:00

Listening for the "Voice of Truth"

God is amazing. He takes advantage of anything and everything that we do in His name to reveal Himself and His love to His people.

This year I attended "She Speaks" on the speaking track. The prior two years I had attended on the writers track. I never imagined that this change would bring about so much change in my heart. During my life I have always been told that I was gifted at weaving stories together through the written word, but I have not felt much calling to 'speak' my writing. So when I signed up to be part of a speaker's evaluation group I really knew only one thing for certain. God had given me a message and I was to present it at "She Speaks."

The main title for both of my messages was "The Voice of Truth," with the subtitles of, Who Am I, and I'm Listening God, I'm Listening.

Prior to the conference I had prayed that God would allow me to be a light bearer for Him. I asked for Him to reveal to me anyone who needed a word, prayer, encouragement, pat on the back, hug or blessing from God, and that He would allow me to be His message bearer.

God delivered BIG in so many ways, and I was blown away.

I would like to share just one example with you in which God not only allowed me to 'step out for Him,' but also taught me again just how valuable "listening to His voice of truth" can be.

During one of my break-out sessions on Saturday, God interupted the speaker with the impression on my heart that I was to leave the hotel and find a copy shop and make six copies of my pen and ink drawing of Christ. His instructions were not to be argued with.

I did as God instructed and went to the nearest copy shop and made six copies. I did not know what I was to do with these drawings, but I made the copies anyway. It didn't take long for God to reveal His plan. He led me to use my drawing as a way to open up conversations leading to prayer, sharing and blessing others with His words that He placed upon my heart.

Just about the time I was thinking, "What a gift! God has found a way to make this 'sharing His love thing' easy for me;" I was walking to the book table to pick up a few books to take home and read and passed the terrace and a group of men who were holding hands and praying. At that moment I felt the strong impression from God that I was to take one of those men a copy of my drawing.

What? Wait a minute God. I have no problem speaking to the women here at the conference, after all I am co-leader of women's ministry and speak to and in front of women all of the time. But speaking to men, especially men that I don't know; outside of my comfort zone. Way outside of my comfort zone.

So what did I do? What any scared little redneck girl would do, I stuck my fingers in my ears and hummed "I don't hear you God, I know you're not talking to me," and proceeded on my journey to purchase me some books.

Well, wouldn't ya know, the book table was closed. So, since sticking my fingers in my ears wasn't working and God was still sitting on my shoulder and whispering for me to walk out on the patio and speak to that group of men I . . .

. . . decided to go into the prayer room and pray for God to change His mind, send someone else, or for the men to be gone when I left the prayer room to go back up to my room for the evening.

After spending time wrestling with God, and being blessed by being able to pray with and for one of my sweet sisters, I figured I had spent sufficient time to allow the men to disperse from the patio. Yet, God kept poking at my heart. And I kept arguing. "Lord, you didn't tell me which man to speak to. Lord, they will think I am crazy. Lord, I'm a woman, I know how to share your love with women, but I don't know how to speak to men."

I rounded the corner, praying that the men would be gone. Wrong! They were all still seated in the exact spot they were when I went by the first time. Again, I felt the tug of God to open the door and step out in faith.

But, my feet were trying to propel me on down the hall when I found myself seated in a chair looking out the windows at those men and I heard myself saying, "Please, don't ask me to do this." However, it was clear, I was going to do what He was requesting.

Garnering all of the strength I could manage, I rose to my feet, stood on wobbly legs and walked to the door and opened it wide. I stepped up the the table and politely said, "Excuse me guys. You may think I have lost my mind, but I feel strongly that God has asked me to come out here to you and give one of you a copy of this drawing of Christ. I am not sure who this message is for but God knows. He wants one of you to have this drawing to remember to keep your eyes focused on Christ in the difficult times to come. Since I don't know who is to have this, I would like to leave it here and God will work out who is to have it."

At that point I started to turn to leave them. But one man stood up. He reached into his pocket and took something out. He said, "Well mam, when I was coming out of the airport I looked down and saw this twenty-dollar bill in the gutter. I picked it up and as I did I felt the Lord tell me to hold on to it until He showed me who I was to give it to. Until this moment I didn't know who it was for, but I feel that God is leading me to give it to you. Would you accept it?"

To say I was stunned would be an understatement. I muttered something like, "Although I don't need the money, I will never refuse a gift from the Lord." I took the money stuffed it into my pocket and said to the men, "Thank you for your time and the encouragement that your faithfulness in prayer blessed me with," and then I turned and walked away.

I think that I floated to my hotel room, because I can't really remember walking back. I was filled with the joy of the Lord, and grateful that I had been obedient.

I am holding on to that twenty-dollar bill as I know that God will direct me as to where it is to go.

As I walk from day-to-day, I continue to be blessed by God, and I constantly strive to, "Listen to the Voice of God."

2009-08-04T12:52:00.001-05:00

WOW ~ WOW!

Is God amazing or what?

I knew that "She Speaks" would bless my heart this year, but I was totally BLOWN away, ya'll!!

Don't have time to share right now, but please come back soon cause ya'll won't want to miss hearing some of the things God revealed to me this past weekend.

God is SOOOOOO Good!

2009-07-14T13:45:00.002-05:00

"Going to She Speaks!"

This will make year three for me. I am as excited about the trip this year as I was the first. However, this year I have a totally different perspective and reason for my excitement.

Year one was all about 'me.' I was excited about the book I had written and I was sure that I would be offered a writing contract and become the next 'best-selling Christian author.' Ahem! Boy was I ever full of myself. Thankfully God poured out His grace and even though I didn't get a book contract, I saw God and heard from Him in such powerful ways that I left the conference realizing that God's blessings are far better than the things I had hoped for in my own very small rendering of what to expect from the conference.

Year two I had a bit better perspective. My goal for the conference was not to seek a writers contract, but rather to be open to experiencing God and to listening to anything and everything that He would reveal. Again, God showed up in BIG and POWERFUL ways. I was blessed beyond measure.

Year-three, and this year my reasons for attending "She Speaks" have shifted even more. This year I will be taking several ladies who are first time attenders. I am soooo excited because I know that this conference has resulted in changing the lives of many, many ladies. These friends are wonderful Christian ladies and I can't wait to hear what God reveals to them during this weekend.

I am also excited because this year I am praying that God will use me to bless others. No, I'm not looking for a writing contract, or hoping for a national speaking tour. This year my goal is just to be present with God. To allow Him to direct my every word, action, deed and prayer. I desire to glorify my Savior, and this year allow the spotlight to shine where it should; on my Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. May I forever praise His name!

The Terminator

2009-05-29T15:54:00.000-05:00

THE TERMINATOR

I was asked one time, “How can you believe in God, when He allowed you to have PD? Isn’t God supposed to be loving and kind?”

First, I don’t blame my having Parkinson’s disease on God, nor has my health status ever had any impact on my belief in God; other than in a positive sense.

Second, God is loving and kind; among a host of other indescribable attributes.

So how do I maintain my faith and my belief in a Holy God?

The only thing that I have ever been totally convinced of, in an ever changing and unpredictable world, is that God exists and that He loves me. The fact that I have PD doesn’t change that. God did not afflict me with PD. Many people think that God afflicts people with sickness and disease. I do not believe that, nor do I find in His word support of that.

It is my belief that sickness and disease comes upon people due to the fact that we live in a world characterized by sin. In Genesis we read that the serpent was present here on earth from the beginning. He was already at work tempting man to sin and turn away from God. (See Genesis 3: 1-7) And Adam and Evil obliged, and fell into sin.

God made His creation, you and me, with the ability to choose what we believe, and He granted us free will. When, by our actions, we make poor choices; such as Adam and Eve made, God, because He is a jealous, yet just and loving God, allowed pain into the picture of human life. In much the same way that those of us who are loving parents will allow our children to fail or experience hurt so that in the long run they have enough experience to make good choices. If there were no pain and suffering we would have no need of God.

A vast amount of our pain and suffering is self-inflicted. Over the years of my life, I cannot begin to count the times that I have thought that I knew more about or did not want to listen to another’s advice on many issues, topics, or actions. Subsequently, many times I would not listen to any advice. Needless to say my way of doing life cost me great pain; pain that in many instances could have been avoided.

I am not at all suggesting that Parkinson’s disease or most any other disease is something that is caused or even contributed to by the action or lack thereof the patient. What I am stating is that I know that you and I live in a world where there is evil, pain and suffering all around. Just one quick look at the world and you can see it. Often you can hear it, many can feel it, and occasionally we can even taste it. The pain, hurt, harshness, ugliness, violence, sexism, racism, pride, jealousy, envy, lust, and other hurtful issues do not come from God. “God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.” (John 1:5 NIV)

On this side of eternity with my Savior there will be pain and suffering. Many saints who have done so much to further the cause of Christ will be struck with disease, involved in automobile accidents, be victimized in some brutal way; and many will die, an early or untimely death, at least to our human way of thinking. And, unfortunately, yes, even sometimes babies or children suffer and die.

For any parent grieving the loss of a child, I can only empathize with how difficult it must be, and from experience I know that often parents want to ask God, “Why?”

I don’t have an answer to all, or even any situation other than my own. For me having Parkinson’s disease is all about learning to surrender. I believe that God is calling me to do many things with Him. (Not for Him, as He is very capable of doing anything and everything on His own. ~ a topic for some other time) When one has a health condition which impedes ones daily functionality and almost daily something else causes pain or another ability becomes consumed by the disease, it is almost as shocking as being diagnosed all over again. Patients like me know that we are living with a disease, yet I don’t think that anyone is ever fully prepared for the changes that come with a progressive and incurable disease.

When I have those rough days, what I call “park days;” it can be quite easy for me to want to blame someone. Or slip into a “woe is me attitude.” I must remind myself that I have two options; live a miserable existence moaning about my misfortune, and make all those around me miserable in the process; or I can choose to rejoice! I have made it my personal goal to try to go through my life with strength and dignity and rejoice always in my Lord. (Hence, why I have this blog.) Plus, for me I truly see PD as a blessing and a gift in my life.

Some of you may think that my husband should call the men with one of those little white jackets that lace up the back when I issue such a statement; but hear me out.

Prior to PD it was much easier for me to become prideful and think that I had done a good job when sending a note of encouragement to someone that was hurting. Now, I know that it is the voice of the Holy Spirit who calls the need to my mind. Prior to PD, I would more often than not, when involved in a disagreement with my husband, puff up my chest and say, “Well, I’m right. I’m not going to apologize!” Now, the Holy Spirit quietly whispers to me, “Apologize! It doesn’t matter who is a fault. You are commanded to love, and love is a choice, not an emotion.” Prior to PD, I would desire to serve God, but sadly, often I wanted to serve in an area where I could shine. Now, I not only don’t need to shine, I don’t want to shine; BUT I am very concerned with knowing if my actions, words and deeds allow God to shine through me.

This disease has brought many things into my life. Many are, to minimize things considerably, not fun. However, my relationship with the Lord has grown, and the peace, joy and contentment that I feel inside through my personal relationship and total dependence upon God is more than worth the price.

So, no matter what PD takes away from me in the weeks, months and years to come, I know that the hand of my loving Heavenly Savior will bless me more abundantly than I can even hope for or imagine.

I say, give me your best shot PD! I got the terminator of all suffering, pain and evil on my side and you cannot win!!!

2009-04-03T14:26:00.000-05:00

Day of Rejoicing

“When we all get to heaven what a day of rejoicing that will be.” I am sure that most of us recognize those words from the song, “When we all get to Heaven,” lyrics by Eliza E. Hewitt, composition by Emily E. Wilson. I know that when we get to heaven there will be much rejoicing, but why until we get to heaven?

Today I had the opportunity to rejoice as I did something I have been longing to do for a very long time. I wrote this blog posting from my new laptop computer while sitting by the lake at the park. Although our weather here in southeastern Illinois has taken a turn back to more winter-like temperature and I did not get to sit at one of the picnic tables outside, I did rejoice and enjoy the beauty of nature from the interior of my van.

God has placed so much beauty before us and all too often we rush through life and never even notice. Today I got intentional about noticing. I watched as a squirrel looked for acorns that he had no doubt hidden before winter. I watched as a robin searched the leaves for a grub or worm. I watched a Canada goose swim and duck its head down below the surface of the water, and I enjoyed the tranquility of a quiet country morning. Each reason of its own to rejoice and praise His name!!

However, as I sat and took in the rich beauty of the morning my mind was led to a very dark morning; the morning that my Jesus was crucified. I began to ponder over the miracle that His life and death bring to those of us who receive Him as Savior. Were it not for His love and amazing grace, (two more wonderful praise songs) there would be no song singing about all of us getting to heaven. Thoughts along that line make me appreciate the beauty of nature that I am free to enjoy even more.

As I considered how dark this world would be if we did not have the love and grace of our Savior, my heart began to overflow with praise for the little things that I too often take for granted.

When I left the park and drove to pick my son up from school, I began naming a few of the things that I am thankful for, and as I named them, I rejoiced and praised God for His goodness. Sometimes this was done in silent reverence. Other times I shouted out “Thank You,” or “Praise His Name,” or even, “God is so good to me!” I found a CD with praise songs on it and sang along, just praising my Father and my Lord. It refreshed my soul and it was good, so good! I couldn’t help but smile as I thought about how my rejoicing in His many gifts must have brought my God a smile too.

This conscientious naming of some of the things I am thankful for and praising Him for His many blessings is a habit that I want to make a regular part of my life. So, now I’m challenging you! Will you join me and begin praising and rejoicing because of Jesus and what He has done in your life? Why should we wait until we get to heaven? If we have received Christ as our savior we are already living for eternity, and if we are living for Him; reading His word, praying and being quiet before Him so that He can speak to us, we even get glimpses of Him from time to time. So, as for me, I’m going to be rejoicing more and shouting the victory over the everyday wonderful blessings that God has so richly bestowed upon me. Are you coming along?

2009-03-04T22:47:00.002-06:00

Just Praising Jesus (Some more)

"These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may remain in you, and that your joy might be full." John 15:11

I know that it has been a long time since I posted, and I appologize to whomever might be out there in cyber-land that cares enough to check my blog from time-to-time.

Today I have a couple of items on my heart that I wanted to share with all of you.

First, I received notification from the Social Security Administration that my application for disability has been APPROVED!!! YIPPEE! I have been doing a happy dance since the call came in on Friday, February 27th. (Well, these days it may look like a happy 'shake,' but you get the picture.) This determination was super speedy, as most people don't hear anything for anywhere from 6-months to a year after initial application. I applied on December 20th, 2008. So, from application to approval was just over 2-months and we had all of the holidays in that time-frame too.

Folks, I know that the Lord's fingerprints are all over that one!! And, I will continue to praise Him, no matter what the future holds.

Second, I wanted to speak with you about some of the struggles of life. Today I woke up with a terrible cough and cold. Not only did I wake up with the 'crud,' but so did my husband and son. That in and of itself would have been bad enough, but any type of illness, such as a cold, coupled with my PD really wipes me out.

Although the struggle that I have faced today is mild when compared to what many others are going through, I began to think about how we often cope with the difficulties of life. How do we cope when life seems to be out of control?

I have a very dear friend who is currently dealing with a broken relationship. The struggle to hold on to faith and to reach out to God for comfort are very real. During times of crisis such as this one would not usually find joy.

I also have several friends who are dealing with cronic and debilitating disease. I know of others who have experienced the loss of a loved one lately.

It is during these very real and very difficult life experiences that we have the ability to make a huge impact for the Lord. People are watching all of us who claim Christ as savior even more closely during times of stress in our lives. What a powerful witness we can be during those times!

Is this an easy thing to do? Not at all! However, Paul tells us, "We know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28 NASB)

I was listening to a Christian radio broadcast the other day and caught the tail end of a conversation between the radio host and a couple who had lost two of their four daughters at one time. From what I could gather they were shot and killed. The one thing that really hit me from the interview was at the end the radio broadcaster stated that this mom and dad had been able to meet the parents of the boy who killed their girls. The broadcaster asked the parents of the murdered girls how they felt about that meeting. Both parents were so gracious and they stated that the death of their girls was not the fault of the parents of the shooter. They said that as Christians we are all called to forgive as we have been forgiven. They said that blame and the what if's would not change the fact that their girls were gone, so they choose forgiveness.

Those parents really knew what it means to carry the banner of Christ high! Even in the midst of their very real pain and suffering they never once blamed God, nor did they loose the joy of their salvation.

Having heard that story, I had to ask myself, "How am I reacting to the stressors of life?"

This is what I discovered when I cut away all of the excuses and got through my 'pity party' and reached the bottom line: "When Christ forgives your sin and fills you with His spirit, you ought to know the joy of the Lord in your life." *1

Let's circle around to my opening scripture verse from John. It was Jesus who was talking and said, " These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full." These words were prayed by Jesus to His Father shortly before he was to die on the cross.

Now, if you are like me you are probably thinking, "Jesus is about to be crucified and He prays a prayer asking His Father for the disciples to have joy. What's up with that?

In his book, "Going the Second Mile," by Mel Blackaby, Mr. Blackaby explains things like this. "Knowing what had been entrusted to the disciples, His prayer is amazing. Notice that Jesus didn't pray, "Father make them to be great preachers. . . [nor did he pray] . . . give them insight to teach theology. . . Why was the Lord concerned about theri being full of joy? Because He knew their countenance would validate the message of abundant life in Christ. Their faces would testify that there's freedom from sin and hope in Christ." *2

As I look in the mirror today, does my countenance validate Jesus Christ and His life? Am I a testament to His power? Am I living our James 1:2, which says, "Count it all joy when you fall into various trials."

Okay, okay! I know how difficult this is! I know that the last thing one wants to do, when a loved one is taken too early by a senseless act of violence, is smile and shine for Jesus. Yet, the couple who lost two young daughters in just such a manner still managed to shine for Him! They maybe didn't have a smile on their face, but they made it clear that Jesus is in control of their lives and that they 'choose' to trust Him. They made it clear that their two daughters really belonged to God, and He had just entrusted their care to them until He was ready to call them home.

Huh? Oh, yeah, I said I was getting to the bottom line didn't I?

I am convinced that the Lord doesn't ask us to do things that come easy to us. However, He does ask us to do things that He, through His grace, has enabled us to do. It is God's grace that sustains us! Everything we enjoy about life in this world He created or allowed to be created. It is ALL HIS! This life is not about US! It is about us being created in His image (see Genesis 1:27), an image of radiance and light. Remember what happened to Moses when he spent time on the mountain with God? Talk about a joy reflector, Moses truly became one!

The sooner we begin to reallly believe and accept the fact, that apart from Jesus we are nothing, but with Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit indwelling us we are everything to God, the sooner we will be able to display His joy even during the most difficult time. When we fully grasp what it means to be a child of the King, our God most High, and we daily experience His love, it should not be difficult for us to be radiant for Him!

Off now to shine for Him. PD won't keep me down, nor will this cough and sore throat. What about you?

Disclaimer: I know that there are many people who are grieving and may have read this post and felt as if I slapped them in the face, rather than serving as an encouragement. If you fall into this category, please accept my apology. It is not my intention to hurt anyone, yet I ask that 6-months or a year from now you come back and read this post again. Read this again when you have been able to put some space and time in between you and the pain. I believe that if you know Christ, He will have restored you and carried you through the difficult time. Hopefully you will be able to praise Him for seeing you faithfully through, and your joy will be restored.

2009-02-09T22:04:00.002-06:00

Just Praising Jesus

Well, I told you that I would come back and share when I had something that I felt was worth saying. So my profound statement for the day is . . .

. . . Praise God for He is so good!

After an intro like that I bet you expect me to have a wonderful story to tell you about something grand that has happened in my life today. Well sorry to disappoint but no earth shaking story to tell.

Today was just an ordinary day in the ordinary life of an ordinary wife and mother; except for the one extraordinary thing ~ I am a child of the King, God Most High! Me(and you too if you know Jesus)a wretched sinner. I am loved by God. The God of grace sent His very own Son to redeem me so that I could have a relationship with Him!

Now people if that doesn't make you want to say "God is so good," well lets just say I think you better check your priorities!

So, I'm gonna say, "Ta-ta" for tonight and go sing a few praise songs to my Jesus!

2009-02-06T14:17:00.001-06:00

Dead Without The Spirit

Have you ever been in a place where you felt a sense of unease or discontent; almost to the point of feeling numb, or like you are just walking through the motions of life? This is a place where you perform the daily tasks of life in something of a fog. You are not angry, worried, or fearful.

You wonder and question what is wrong, yet you cannot put your finger on anything specific that is out of place. When you consider your life you realize that you have so much to be thankful for. You realize that you are truly blessed, especially given the economic times. Yet, you continue to struggle to find the rest, peace, joy, and contentment in your heart that you so long for.

For me, that has been the way my days have rolled by lately. I have wanted to write something to post here on my blog, but I have felt that I had nothing to say. For those of you who know me best you will know that it is a rare occasion when I can’t at least come up with something to praise God about. And, that is just it!! I do have many things that I should be praising God for. But, I just don’t seem to have the energy, or the heart to sit down and type anything out.

Given my health status I wondered if my Parkinson’s Disease was causing me to be suffering from apathy, or an increased level of depression. But, I don’t really feel apathetic. Nor, do I feel that my depression level is increased. So, I decided to pray and think about what I am feeling and see if I could come to some conclusion about this strange malady that I have felt was trying to consume me.

Today, Praise God, I think I may have been hit on the head by something.

“The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you.”
Romans 8:11

“Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him. By this he meant the Spirit,. . .”
John 7:38-39b

“But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth.” John 16:13a

What do those verses mean in relation to what I have been feeling lately?

What I felt God was speaking to me is this, “I have not been fueling myself through a connection with the Holy Spirit. I have not been tapping into the power of the Spirit living within me. I have not connected with the stream of living water, nor have I sought His Spirit of truth."

This must cease! I will not allow the evil one to steal another minute of my time, or waste anymore of my days by filling my mind with thoughts like, “I have nothing to offer. Who do you think you are? Who would want to hear anything you have to say anyway?”

In and of myself I may not have much to say, but the Holy Spirit who lives within me does have Much to say! He desires that I proclaim the love of Christ to everyone who will listen, through whatever means I have at my disposal.

No, I may not be gifted or talented in the skills necessary to get the message out, but I don’t need to be. I just need to allow the Spirit to speak through me. I just need to allow the Spirit to fill me with God’s truth, refresh me with living water and sit with my fingers poised over the keyboard and ask Him to be the driver.

As I typed those words, the lyrics of a song came to mind. "Oh, praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead!" (Sing along here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onxhvivQYfI )

Okay, so now I’ve got us in the mood to praise HIS name, go ahead and sing along with this one too! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-08YZF87OBQ

Be blessed everybody! I'm gonna run off now to have myself a little talk with my Savior and then listen to the Spirit to speak truth to me!

I know I have a whole new attitude now; now that the Lord has my full attention. I’ll let you know what He wants me to reveal soon, so come back and check me out again in a few days!

2009-01-09T09:49:00.006-06:00

SERIOUS OBEDIENCE

“Knowing the correct password – saying ‘Master, Master,’ for instance – isn’t going to get you anywhere with me. What is required is serious obedience – doing what my Father wills.” ~ Matthew 7:21 MSG

Have you ever struggled over and over with a problem and not been able to bring any resolution to bear on the situation, much less been able to come to a point of peace? If so, then this post will resonate with you. If you have never experienced the feelings that I will discuss today could you leave me a comment to let me know your secret, because obviously I struggle; boy do I ever.

Sometimes I can be such a dunder-head. And, I say that with sincerity and acceptance. Since the Christmas break I have been struggling with the feeling that I was being sucked down into a black hole. You see, I have me a sit-u-a-tion, and I have been at a loss to figure out how to fix the problem. This hole was not only getting deeper, but I began to notice that the hole was filling with a great deal of mud and muck. Along with the mud and muck I began to notice that the air was also becoming foul.

I began to search for a way out. I didn’t like where I was at in my struggle to find resolution, but I was failing to see the way out. I pondered the issues facing me. I rolled them around in my mind. I struggled in my own way trying to find clarity and solutions to the dilemma which was my adversary. I stayed awake at night and read some books by a few experts on the topic. All to no avail.

By now a few weeks had passed and to be honest I was beginning to become quite peeved at the notion that I, a usually bright, articulate, caring and responsible adult could not find an answer to my conundrum. Then today, thankfully, the light-bulb moment finally came.

GOD! God came through! (Praise His name, He always does!) I finally (told you that I sometimes am a dunder-head) realized that I had failed to seek God and ask Him to provide an answer to my problem. Well, if I’m being totally honest with myself and you, I probably was blocking my mind from seeking God’s wisdom because I kinda already knew the answer to my problem is that I need to change.

It came down to the fact that I needed a good ole dose of being “seriously obedient” to the Lord. I was being stubborn and selfish. I can be that way at times! Oh, yes mam I certainly can! I didn’t want to speak to God about the issue because I didn’t want to hear what God’s will would be in this situation because I wasn’t ready to do His will. Are any of you ever like that too?

So, I realized that I had myself a case of serious need for repentance going on. I was looking for a shortcut. I didn’t want to give my total and vigorous attention to the problem. I wanted to be selfish and keep doing things my way and asking God to bless my pitiful efforts and have Him change the situation so that my way of doing things would work. How pitiful is that?
Today however, God finally broke through my toughened, calloused heart about this issue. I finally heard loudly and clearly, “Don’t bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need.” (Matthew 7:7 MSG) I realized that what I needed was not to be right, but rather to be happy and at peace. I realized that the only way for this to happen was for me to give in to God and come into serious obedience and do things God’s way.

I spent time on my knees confessing my need. I confessed that I was being sinful, arrogant and proud in my efforts to solve my problem in my own power. I cried out to God asking Him to reveal His plan and His solution. I asked Him to soften my heart to hear His voice and to follow His prompting.

Now I am feeling at peace. I know that walking according to God’s plan and direction will not be easy. Hence why I was so stubborn about seeking Him for answers in the first place. But confessing my need has freed me from the bondage of sin that was holding me captive. I may not get things perfectly right, but I have once again learned the lesson that I need to depend upon my Savior for all things, not just be willing to give Him the easy places in my life. When I am stuck between a rock and a hard place, well, that’s where and when I need Him the most. I just have to remember that and go to Him constantly in prayer and allow the Holy Spirit to lead me and keep me on track, confessing my failures as I go along to keep me balanced.

I am so grateful that God never gives up on me, even when I am being a dunder-head and am failing to live in serious obedience.

BTW ~ For a little insight into what my sit-u-a-tion was, drop in on Renee Swope’s blog. This week she is providing tips and encouragement to parents about all kinds of parenting issues as she teams up with the D6 team.

Further Verses to Consider:

Matthew 7:13-14 MSG –
“Don’t look for shortcuts to God. . . . The way to life – to God – is vigorous and requires total attention.”

Matthew 7:7 MSG –
“Don’t bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need.”

Isaiah 16:3 MSG –
“People with their minds set on you, you keep completely whole, steady on their feet, because they keep at it and don’t quit.”

"Dear Lord, give me a hunger and a thirst to always seek Him. May I always take everything to Him in prayer. Not as I did in this situation, as a last resort, but first and foremost for our God alone can show me the way through a difficult landscape. His guidance, love and grace are all I need! In Jesus name, Amen."

Blessings to you all!

2008-12-24T13:58:00.003-06:00

Roots of Faith

“These commandments that I give to you to day are to
be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children.”
Deuteronomy 6: 6-8

"God, God, a God of mercy and grace, endlessly
patient—so much love, so deeply true—loyal in love for
a thousand generations, forgiving iniquity, rebellion, and sin. Still, he doesn't ignore sin. He holds sons and grandsons responsible for a father's sins to the third and even fourth generation."
Exodus 34:4

The other day as I was combing my hair and I was gazing into the mirror, I realized that my hair color needed to be touched up; my roots were showing. I have been coloring my hair for a while now to combat the gray. This task is something that must be done repeatedly, if not then I live with the effect that I noted in the mirror; the roots of my natural color peeking through at the scalp. This need for ‘touch-up’ was making me look old, worn and tired.

I relate my hair needing a touch-up to my need to keep myself spiritually glowing and renewed. To do this I must stay in touch with Jesus through reading the word and through frequent prayer.

I, like all sinners, have a great need to cover my less-than-desirable behavior with the love of Jesus. However, for this cover-up to take effect and hold, I cannot just spend a few minutes once every six or eight weeks reading His Word. Rather, learning to glow for Him requires that I spend quality time in His presence every day.

Remember when Moses spent time on Mt. Sinai with God? When he returned to camp his face glowed. This glow came not because of anything Moses had done, but simply from being in the presence of God. That is a most humbling thought.

As I thought more about my roots I realized a parallel between the roots of my hair and the deep faith that comes from being blessed to have an extended family of Christ followers.

I was raised with a built in support system that was ready and willing to keep me focused on following God. This support system came from an extended family of prayer warriors, teachers, encouragers, and ministers. Each one of these people, Uncle’s, Aunt’s, Mother, Father, brothers, sisters, cousins, etc., have held me up and have supported me along my faith journey. I realized what a rare honor it is to have such a rich history godly family members.

When I look around today I see so much dysfunction in families. Children are living in broken homes and are missing out on the blessings that can come from being a part of large Christian family.

One of the members of my extended family was my Uncle Locke. Uncle Locke was a minister who loved the Lord and served Him all the days of his life. It was he who introduced me to the Lord on April 13, 1974.

My Uncle Edgar was also a minister. I cannot name one of my Aunt’s or Uncle’s who did not know the Lord and each one strived to serve Him all the days of their lives. Some were vocalists and sang in their church choir, others were Sunday school teachers, and others worked in the private sector yet lived their lives in such a manner that God was given praise, honor and glory.

My mother and father were Christians who lived life using principles developed through their personal relationship with the Lord. My dad was a deacon and served in our church for most of my life. My mom served on many committees and was always practicing hospitality. It was a rare occasion when we did not have an extra mouth or two around the table for Sunday dinner.

Growing up I could spend time in the home of any one of my extended family members and my parents were assured that I would be flooded with wise counsel that is only developed through a deeply intimate relationship with the Lord.

Unfortunately having this rich and wonderful family of faith could not keep me focused and bound to the Lord. For many years I walked away from the faith. I lived a life characterized by sin. I had allowed earthly challenges, hurts, anger, and disappointment to cloud my vision. The evil one was all over any negative circumstances that came into my life. I began to listen to his lies rather than reaching deep into the foundation of my faith and turning toward God and the big roots of my faith. I began to think that the only way I could survive was on my own.

For many years I believed that God had forgotten about me. I believed that my profession of faith in Jesus had not been enough. I could see no other reason why I had been subjected to the pain and devastation that I secretly lived with. I could not understand how a God of love would allow so many hurtful attacks to come upon one life and rather than face my pain I chose to burry it under more bad decisions and sinful practices.

As I look back across the years and pages of my life, to those many years where I was not living out a life characterized by the love of the Lord, it was then, when I was the most venerable that He was carrying me.

Now with a life fully dedicated to service of My King, I can honestly thank God for the blessings of family life. As I attempt to show my boys what a godly mother looks like I draw from the rich well of memories that those who have gone before have left behind.

It is my greatest desire in life to live each and every day expectantly waiting for my God to show me where I am to be at work for Him. That my witness will leave a lasting imprint on the ones I love and that one day they too will look back and praise God for deep roots of family faith.

Thoughts to Ponder:

How did your family impact your life?
If there are Christians among them do they know how their witness affected you?
What legacy are you leaving for the next generation?

2008-12-19T23:50:00.001-06:00

Just One Step

“That’s why, when I heard of the solid trust you have in the Master Jesus and your outpouring of love to all the followers of Jesus, I couldn’t stop thanking God for you – every time I prayed I’d think of you and give thanks. But I do more than thank. I ask – ask the God of our Master, Jesus Christ, the God of glory – to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for his followers, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him – endless energy, boundless strength.” Ephesians 1: 15-19 (MSG)

Today I stood on the edge of a cliff. Although the drop from the edge to me looked perilous, I held tightly to the hand of another who reminded me to keep my eyes focused and clearly locked on him. He assured me that all would be okay as he urged me to just step off the edge; on faith alone.

Great preparation has gone into this moment in time. Many things have taken place to bring me to this point in my journey. I keep thinking to myself, “I’m not ready. This can’t be happening. This can’t be how it all ends.”

But the man beside me keeps urging me to just step off the cliff. He assures me that he knows what is best for me. He tells me that if I trust in him all will be fine.

So, knowing that I have done all I can to prepare for this day. Knowing that I can go on no longer as I have been, and being encouraged to learn to fly . . .

. . . Today I turned in the keys to my desk and left a job that I really enjoyed. I will no longer be associated with the title of “Administrative Assistant,” “Human Resource Manager,” “Medical Assistant,” or any of the other titles that I have worn during my employment career.

Today I stepped from the solid ground of employment off the cliff into the unknown future of applying for Social Security disability. My title will now be “Disabled due to Young Onset Parkinson’s Disease.” My future ability to provide financial assistance to my family is no longer under my control. (Nor has it ever been much to my argument with God of said point at times.)

Monday morning I will sit in the waiting room of a Social Security office, with a little white three-ring-binder in my shaking hands and pray that the documentation I will be providing will be carefully reviewed and then my application for disability benefits stamped “APPROVED.” My fate will be placed in the hands of a stranger. The only information that they will have to rule on my application for disability will be what is provided by my doctors and what they see going on in my body for the few minutes that it will take to process my paperwork.

Of course I know that my God has the situation under His perfect control. I must trust Him to work out the details and in the interim trust in His provision and grace.

Yes much has led me to this day; first and foremost being diagnosed with Young Onset Parkinson’s Disease in February of 2006, second, the very rapid decline of health with correlating rapid increase in symptoms. These two things have created many physical, emotional, and psychological challenges. Once my doctors began to speak about disability I realized that soon my life would be changing. I went into prayer mode. I knew that no matter what the future held, I could not make it through even one day without the guidance of my Savior.

I poured out my heart. I gave Him my fears, and my concerns. I specifically prayed that I would not have to apply for disability until our financial picture was such that the loss of my income would not cause missed payments, the need to sell off assets, go into debt, or sacrifice our outstanding credit score.

God answered that prayer and worked out the details in some amazing ways. I could no longer use that excuse. I knew that He was speaking to me telling me that the time had come for me to trust Him. I knew that He was calling me to stand on the cliff edge and jump off on faith in Him alone.

Today I begin this new journey; but I know I will not be alone for He continues to hold fast to my hand! He has blessed me with intelligent decisions and discernment of my situation. Therefore, today with my eyes focused and clear, I know that He is calling me to a life of even greater faith. He wants me to grow in faith in Him as He bestows upon me His utter abundance, so that I might do His work and teach others about His love, through His supply of endless energy and boundless strength.

Today I trust and I will not fall!

2008-12-13T13:31:00.002-06:00

And the winners are. . .

Yep, yep, yep!! I said winners, plural. I know the contest was only supposed to have one winner, but I have had so much fun with this contest that I decided to have a grand-prize winner and a runner-up.

So, thanks to the random generator here are the winning numbers:

Random Integer Generator
Here are your random numbers: 25 7
Timestamp: 2008-12-13 19:26:46 UTC

That makes New Every Morning the winner of the Disciple's Cross Necklace and "The Shack" book.

And, Spring Fricks, as my runner-up you will also receive a Disciple's Cross Necklace.

Thanks to one and all for playing along! I hope you will stop by and join me again sometime!

Merry Christmas everyone!

2008-12-05T20:25:00.003-06:00

OH SWEET BLOGGY EXCITEMENT!
I am oh so excited about this whole Christmas give away that Lysa TerKeurst has put together. There are so many opportunities to win some great prizes, but the best part has been that I am getting to meet other bloggers and read what they are posting about. Now that is what Christmas is all about; sharing the Christmas season with some new bloggy friends!

BUT now what I want to share with you is that one of these sweet bloggy sista's is a graphic web designer. The blog designer is Edie and her blog design company can be accessed by clicking here: http://richgift.blogspot.com/ Edie is offering to help with the blog design of the winner of her contest as part of the contest that Lysa started this weekend. Oh how I would love to have the services of a professional blog designer. So, check out RichGift Graphics!

2008-12-05T09:29:00.010-06:00

One Cool GiveAway Day!!!

Greetings to all who have jumped to my blog via Lysa TerKeurst's blog and the "Cool Christmas GiveAway."

I have two items that I will be giving away. The first is a hand-crafted "Disciples Cross."

The second item is a copy of "The Shack," by William P. Young.

If you would like a chance to win these items, please click on the word “comment” below and make sure that you include your email address or a way that I can contact you to get your mailing address.

Oh, and don’t forget, once you have entered my contest, click on the Christmas tree at the top of this post to take you back to Lysa’s blog and surf some of the other awesome contests being offered today.

Thanks for stopping by, and good luck!!

BTW, I will leave this contest open until next Friday December 12th. I will notify the winner by Monday the 15th and will post the winner and a link to your blog (if you have one).

2008-12-02T22:35:00.002-06:00

People Passion

“Go after a life of love as if your life depended on it – because it does.”
I Corinthians 14:1 (MSG)

I have been pondering my proclivity for seeking to honor God in the way I love others. If I am to be honest with myself, and you, I must say that I have not been overly zealous in seeking out relationships with new people.

My natural bent is not that of “social butterfly.” I am usually the shy, quiet one who ends up playing with the children, when given a choice, at gatherings, parties or social events. This allows me to protect myself from putting my feelings out there and allowing for opportunity to be hurt. It also prevents me from utilizing my spiritual gifts to minister to the heart of those around me, and blocks me from receiving some of God’s best gifts.

So lately, when reading God’s word, He has impressed upon my heart a need to emerge from my cocoon of safety. It is time for me to become what God intended me to be all along; an approachable, caring, compassionate woman of God. A woman who humbly shares the rough places of life that God’s grace has carried me through.

Last year at the annual conference “She Speaks,” hosted by Proverbs 31 during one particularly moving session, each lady in attendance was asked to take any person, possession, task, item, or “thing” that was holding them back from surrendering to God completely and name the “thing” on a slip of paper. The paper with the “thing” spelled out on it was then to be carried to the front of the room and laid at the foot of a cross that had been set up for this purpose.

Participants were instructed that as they placed their constraint down they should retrieve another slip of paper from the foot of the cross. These “replacement” papers displayed various scripture messages. We were all told at the beginning of the invitation exercise that each verse had been prayed over; the Proverbs 31 team had prayed that each woman in attendance would receive the exact scripture that God would use to speak to hearts and open doors.

During that invitation the scripture verse that I received was, “for you are a chosen (woman). You are a royal priest, a holy (daughter). God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.” I Peter 2:9

Oh my, what an impact that verse has had on my life. I keep it tucked into my bible and I read it often. I realize that I have been “chosen” to “proclaim His truth in everyday speech.” I Corinthians 14:3 (MSG) I am not to speak with an offensive, I’m better than you attitude, but from a humble servants heart.

I am trying to live out my status as “royal priest” by sharing what God is doing in my everyday life. I am utilizing my God given gifts and talents as an “adopted daughter of the King God Most High.” I utilize this blog space to share the things He teaches me, I pray and study His word and then teach others what insight God imparts to me by leading bible studies, and I am beginning to embrace face-to-face, one-on-one interaction with my wonderful sisters in Christ as I share my stories and experiences.

However, I am not doing any of these things on my own; I am only capable of these acts of service through His well-spring of love. The thing I am learning through all of this is that you cannot out give God. The more I surrender to His will for my life; the more I walk down the path He has laid out for me, the more I experience His love and grace.

His blessings are new each morning. I am developing friendships that I once longed for. I am being allowed to share the love and acceptance that God extended to me to others. I feel more fulfilled and alive than at any other point in my life. (This coming from a woman with a progressive neurological disease, pretty impressive what God can do, eh?)

My God is so good! It is my desire to share His love, goodness and mercy so that others may experience the joy that only He can provide.

2008-11-25T23:32:00.003-06:00

PD Delivers Two More Arrows To The Heart

“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”
Proverbs 11:2 (NIV)

Was it a strike to my pride? Or just more arrows to my heart; launched from the ever present bow of Parkinson’s Disease?

Recently I took my son to parent night at school. During this particular session everyone was to dress in pajamas, bring a blanket and sit on the floor to listen to stories and then sing songs.

Needless to say, I had to check my pride at the door as I walked in sporting my blue and black (racing) cane. I looked around the room at all of the moms and kids in their p.j.’s, looking happy and content. As I surveyed the room several moms and children had already begun to spread out blankets and get ready for the fun ahead. I began to feel out-of-place and “old” as I realized that there was no way I would be able to get down into the floor and sit with my son. I knew that if I got down onto that cold, hard tile floor I would not be able to get back up again.

This experience launched arrow one into my heart. I was sad and felt bad for my beautiful son. All of the other children had young, healthy moms who were sitting in the floor with them. They were laughing and having fun listening to the stories and singing the songs. I had to sit at the back of the room at a table, while my son sat alone on his blanket without his mom to laugh with.

The second arrow came with stealth, drove deep into my mind, and has caused unease within my soul. I was putting together a scrapbook page for my son’s third birthday. The project was nearly complete when I decided I wanted to add a large handcrafted number three to finish the two-page layout off.

When I started to sketch the three, my mind went totally blank. I could NOT remember what a three looked like, much less how to write one! Talk about freaking me out. I knew that I could look around the room and find something with the number three on it, but I wanted to see how long my mind would block the memory, so I purposefully did not look around.

Instead I sat and tried to visualize numbers in my head. I could see every number one through ten, except for the missing three. This strange blockage lasted for almost thirty minutes and by then I was almost to the point of tears. Then suddenly it was like a fog lifted from my brain. I began to be able to visualize the missing “3” in my mind.

As I look back, parent night is now but a memory, and thankfully I am retaining the ability to visualize all of my numbers. (At least for the moment.) But, these two events have caused me to evaluate my health status. I am beginning to ask myself, “What will my health be like in five to ten years?” I am questioning if my seemingly rapid increase in symptoms are being caused by the PD itself, or if one of my medications are to blame. I do know that one of my meds can cause side-effects that are similar to the cognitive difficulties I have been dealing with lately. I am also questioning my diagnosis. I have wondered if maybe there is something besides PD going on with me. Maybe I am just being overly cautious. Maybe I am just freaking out a little because a dear friend just had her diagnosis changed from PD to MSA (Multiple System Atrophy), and our symptoms are quite similar.

At this point I am feeling much more humble. God has my attention and my praise! Even during this time of mental reevaluation and readjustment to having a progressive neurological disease, and given the concern I am feeling for the future status of my health; I am able to praise God for I know that He loves me and He is in control. I give Him praise for situations which teach me humility for it is truly my desire to grow in His wisdom.

Dear Lord, keep me serving You in humility. Bless me with Your wisdom. I have no power or strength of my own, but through Jesus all things are possible. Allow me to cling tightly to Your promises and to lean upon You for my support and strength. I love You and I praise You. In Jesus name, Amen.

2008-11-19T09:54:00.001-06:00

Life’s Little Inconveniences

Will you rely on him for his great strength? Will you leave your heavy work to him?
Job 39:11 (NIV)

Once upon a time there was a young woman who was quite physically strong and fiercely independent. She was known to take on jobs that most women would not be willing to consider. She worked as a roofer, a painter and even as a forest-fire fighter. She was more than willing to get her hands dirty and take care of most challenges in life on her own terms. She did minor car maintenance herself; oil changes, replace spark plugs, rotate tires, check belts, etc. She did not need to call a handy-man to assist with plumbing or carpentry repairs for her home; she gladly tackled such projects on her own. She did not have a gardener. She kept her yard mowed, the hedges trimmed, and the walkway edges clipped. Did I say this woman was quite self-sufficient?

Turn the pages in the book of life. At a relatively young age this woman is now facing a progressive neurological disease: Young Onset Parkinson’s Disease. (Just in case there is any doubt, this woman is me.)

My once fierce independence has become incredibly interdependent and dependent. I have been blessed with a wonderful husband and have learned that I can count on him in interdependence. I also have a dependent relationship. I am a child of God, and as such I am blessed with a relationship of utter dependence upon Him.

I no longer fight for independence. I have learned that I am much more blessed and fulfilled when I live in dependence on God and in interdependence with my Husband. I can’t say that I got to this point without a fight. I think that most of the life lessons that I have learned have come about with more than a few battle scars. My dad always said, “Joan has to learn everything the hard way.” He was right!

Now that I am facing an uncertain future with my health limitations, I have had to swallow my pride; yes I said “swallow my pride,” and ask my husband to assist me with many things that I have always done for myself; not only the more physical tasks such as car repairs, carpentry and the like, but also some tasks of daily living. Many days I need assistance to cut my meat at dinner. I am no longer able to beat eggs. I would require assistance to brush my teeth were it not for the use of a battery operated spin-brush. You see, even some small tasks are now impossible because of the quick repetitive motion required.

With Parkinson’s Disease repetitive motion tends to put muscle groups into a state of arrest. Think of the heart when it goes into cardiac arrest. The normal rhythm is interrupted, the beat becomes irregular and then the heart stops altogether. This is very similar to what happens within my nerves and muscles. I can begin the action but as I continue to place my body under the demand of those quick repetitive motions, the neural impulses begin to fire irregularly and the muscle freezes up. Often this will cause muscle cramps and intense pain.

Relying upon my husband’s help for these normal life tasks is, well, humbling to say the least. (Not that I don’t need a good dose of humility from time-to-time.) God has blessed me with a greater love for my husband through these stressful times. My husband is accepting me, assisting me when needed, and loving me in spite of an unknown future. What woman wouldn’t respond to an unconditional love like that?

Within these struggles I am being blessed by learning how to live more fully dependent upon God. He has become my strength in weakness, my comforter when I am feeling down due to the loss of physical abilities, my solid rock during the ever changing progression of symptoms. God is blessing me by growing my faith in Him. He is teaching me that when I am weak, He is strong and mighty. Within these struggles I am being blessed by learning how to live more fully dependent upon God. He is teaching me that my “salvation requires [me] to turn back to [God] and stop [my] silly efforts to save [myself]. [My] strength will come from settling down in complete dependence on [God] — The very thing [I’ve] (for far too long) been unwilling to do.” Isaiah 30:15 (MSG)

I am so grateful that God is a patient God. I am grateful that during my years of stubborn independence He loved me enough to carry me along. I am grateful that He is now teaching me to trust fully in His divine wisdom, plan and calling on my life. In fact, even with the pain, limitations and struggles that PD presents in my life, I have come to realize that this disease is a strange sort of gift to me. God is allowing me to use what was meant for harm to give praise and glory to my God and Savior Jesus. I am learning through suffering, due to illness, not to live my “life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God.” 1 Peter 4:2 (NIV)

So, if these little life inconveniences are a tool that can be used to focus just a small portion of glory and honor upon the Creator of all life, I say, “Bring it on!”

Related Verses:

Your salvation requires you to turn back to me and stop your silly efforts to save yourselves. Your strength will come from settling down in complete dependence on me— The very thing you've been unwilling to do. Isaiah 30:15 (MSG)

Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God. 1 Peter 4:1&2 (NIV)

2008-11-14T11:13:00.003-06:00

Learning to Live in Sufficient Grace

“But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you,
for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

Any serious illness can test ones faith and belief in God. But for those who suffer, like myself, with a chronic, debilitating disease every day brings about confusion, weakness, worry and fear. None of these attributes support an attitude which will allow me to see God in my everyday life, nor will they bless me in my daily walk with the Lord. My goal then becomes, “How do I learn to live in the sufficiency of His grace, trusting Him with every aspect of my daily life, laying it all down at the foot of the cross.

In January 2006 I was diagnosed with Young Onset Parkinson’s Disease. Due to my ego and belief that I was almost bulletproof, I thought to myself, “No big deal. So I’ll shake a little. I can handle that.” Of course, I had done the research and I knew very well that a diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease can bring a broad variety of symptoms. I just wanted to believe that my experience would be a slow progression and I would only be challenged by mild symptoms at worst.

That of course has not been my experience. As I have studied and researched this disease and have lived with it and the symptoms. I am learning just how much of my daily life can be impacted by a non-curable, progressive neurological disease. In a physicians P.D. lingo one of the tests used to measure a patients progression rate is what is called P.D.R.S., or Parkinson’s Disease Rating Scales. In the almost three years since my diagnosis I have gone from a PDRS score of 2 to a current rating of 57. The rating scale reflects 0 as being no symptoms to a top score of 100. This rapid increase in symptoms has me classified as progressing at a rate somewhere in the top 5 – 10% of all PD patients.

Given these facts, how then am I coping with the rapid changes in my physical condition? I am learning to rely fully on the power and strength of Jesus Christ. I have often heard it said that one cannot live a life of faith if they are never pushed beyond the point that their own human ability can carry them. It really doesn’t take much faith to walk or run when one is fully healthy. It doesn’t take much faith to walk into a job everyday prepared to give your best work to your employer when the mind and body are healthy and whole.

However, when it takes every bit of energy one can muster up just to get out of bed in the morning and get dressed to go into a place of work due to physical limitations, faith and reliance on God is increased. When one can no longer process verbal requests from co-workers and must ask them to write their requests down so that no mistakes are made and nothing is forgotten or overlooked, ones faith and reliance on God is increased. When at the end of the work-day one has no physical strength or stamina left to give, and there are still the responsibilities of cooking a meal for the family, playing with a child, or giving time and attention to ones husband, faith and reliance in God’s strength and provision is increased.

I am learning that to get through each day I must ask God to help me to focus on the tasks that He puts on my to-do list. There will be many tasks on my to-do list that never get attended to, and I have learned to release these items to God. He knows what activities are required in my job, in my ministry, and for my family and home life. For those required activities He will bless me with the ability to complete tasks and touch lives with the love of Jesus. The only requirement is that I remain in contact or communion with Him in order that I may have wisdom and insight as to what God has placed on my priority list for me to accomplish each day. This is where my challenge comes in, and where the Lord blesses me with the most opportunities to live by faith in Him.

Over the next few weeks I am going to try to look at a few of my daily challenges and share how I am learning to see God’s hand in the midst of my daily life. I will share what God is teaching me and how my faith is being increased as a result.

I have the honor and responsibility to share the wonders of Jesus with those around we who are lost and alone. Once again, I pray that God will bless me with the opportunities to “boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength! Praise His name.

2008-10-30T14:07:00.002-05:00

Strength to the Weary, Power to the Weak

“Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Isaiah 40: 28-31 (MSG)

I was diagnosed with Young Onset Parkinson’s Disease in February of 2006. Since that time my disease has progressed rather rapidly. I find that every day living with a progressive neurological disease is a struggle in one manner or another. I am learning the importance of trusting the Lord to be my daily portion, my strength. I have discovered that I am tired and weary, and my body is becoming increasingly weak. But God . . .

. . .two simple little words, but not really simple or little at all. In actuality they are BIG, words. HUGE words. Actually, these two words carry life altering implications. For example:

I could be lost in a world of sin and despair . . . . . . but God!
I could feel abandoned and unloved . . . . . . but God!
I could be struggling on my own . . . . . . but God!
I have no strength in my own power . . . . . . but God!
I will sin, struggle, stumble, fall . . . . . . but God!

See what I mean? Powerful and power filled words!

On the days that I experience struggles with a low spirit, low energy, the inability to cope with any of life’s little stressors, or a lack of physical strength I remember that the Lord is the everlasting God. He is the Creator of the earth and He loves me; He loves all of His children with a depth and richness that we cannot fathom.

I run to Him and I ask Him to give me His strength. I ask Him to increase my power, not so that I might accomplish the items on my to-do list, but that I might not miss an opportunity to serve Him. I have come to understand that by serving Him I can truly realize what it would feel like to soar on wings like an eagle.

If my spirit is willing, my eyes open and my mind free to follow His path, do His will, He will equip me for His service. He will provide the required strength and power. It is not easy giving up my list of priorities, but God blesses abundantly when I remember to daily surrender my life to Him.

I have surrendered my health. I have surrendered my marriage. I have surrendered my family. I have surrendered all I hold dear. When I realize that everything comes to me by God’s grace and belongs to Him anyway, and that His love is much greater than any here on earth, what do I have to fear by living a life surrendered? Nothing! In fact, I have much to gain. When I remember this truth and even give Him the smallest details of my day, God rushes in and overtakes me with His blessings.

My prayer is that I will be able to influence many to join me in my journey to daily surrender and to enjoy the way that He brings power to the weak.

Dear Lord,
Help me to live surrendered to you. Your ways, Your plan, Your to-do list, all impact an eternal perspective. I ask that You send Your power when I am weak, provide me with strength to resist the temptation to try to go it on my own. Show me how to serve you so that I may plant many seeds that lead to salvation. In Jesus’ name.

Related Verses

Psalm 37: 23-24, “If the LORD delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand.” (NIV)

Psalm 68: 35, “You are awesome, O God, in your sanctuary; the God of Israel gives power and strength to his people. Praise be to God!” (NIV)

2008-10-21T12:09:00.002-05:00

Where Does America Stand With God?

1 "When Israel [America] was a child, I loved him [her], and out of Egypt I called my son.
2 But the more I called Israel [America], the further they went from me. They sacrificed to the Baals and they burned incense to images.
3 It was I who taught Ephraim [America] to walk, taking them by the arms; but they did not realize it was I who healed them.
4 I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love; I lifted the yoke from their neck and bent down to feed them.
5 "Will they not return to Egypt and will not Assyria [our enemy the devil] rule over them because they refuse to repent?
6 Swords will flash in their cities, will destroy the bars of their gates and put an end to their plans.
7 My people are determined to turn from me. Even if they call to the Most High, he will by no means exalt them.
8 "How can I give you up, Ephraim [America]? How can I hand you over, Israel [United States]? How can I treat you like Admah? How can I make you like Zeboiim? My heart is changed within me; all my compassion is aroused.
Hosea 11: 1-9 (NIV)

I took the liberty of adding [America], the gender [her], [our enemy the devil], and the [United States], in the recording of Hosea 11: 1-9 above. I did this to make a point. My point is that the bible is effective in teaching us today using principles that were recorded in Old Testament times. By looking back, often we can see areas of trouble here in the present.

Are the verses above not just the very picture on how America looks today? Haven’t we pushed God out of almost everything? As a country we continue to remove God from our schools, our justice system, our homes, our cities and our everyday lives.

Given this fact, is there any wonder that God is allowing our economy to suffer, many natural disasters to hit our land and take lives, and to top if off we are living with great concern for the direction of the upcoming elections and what changes could be forthcoming.

As I have been reflecting upon the elections, our economy and the lack of preservation of Christian values and guidance in our land, I am convinced that Christians everywhere should begin to fervently pray for this election and America as a whole. If we do not turn back to God, and put Him back on the throne, I believe that more difficult times lie ahead.

Won’t you join me in prayer for America? I have set aside the time of 12:00 noon to pray until the end of the election. I have programmed a reminder to pop-up on my computer to keep me accountable.

REMEMBER:

“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”
2 Chronicles 7:14 (NIV)

2008-10-08T14:26:00.001-05:00

What God is Teaching me Now

"You're familiar with the command to the ancients, 'Do not murder.' I'm telling you that anyone who is so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of murder. Carelessly call a brother 'idiot!' and you just might find yourself hauled into court. Thoughtlessly yell 'stupid!' at a sister and you are on the brink of hellfire. The simple moral fact is that words kill.” Matthew 5: 21-22 (MSG)

There has been a powerful storm moving through my home lately. This storm has seemed to develop a life of its own and for many weeks has been gaining intensity. The swell has built to the point that I grew concerned that this storm would overwhelm and utterly destroy the balance of peace in my life.

This storm is what I will refer to as tropical storm “Gabe.”

On vacation in Florida recently we were forced to alter many of our plans due to tropical storm Faye, which made landfall on the second day of our vacation and then just sat over Orlando for several days. During this period of time the wind blew and the rain fell, often with driving force. So great and prolonged was this storm that many areas in Orlando and surrounding towns were deemed disaster areas once Faye finally moved on. I watched firsthand the devastating effects that a tropical storm can have.

During my quiet time as I was reading the word of God, I was led to the passage of scripture from the gospel of Matthew above. Two points in particular struck me as I read.

The first, was: “. . .anyone who is so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of murder.” Now I have read this verse many times. And as I often do, I sort-of glossed over it. I guess one could say that the weight of that statement never really hit me where I live. But today was different.

For many long weeks my husband and I have been struggling to cope with angry outbursts from our almost 4-year-old son. Needless to say these outbursts have made our home feel more like a war zone than a place of rest, contentment, acceptance and love. Much to my dismay I realized that in the same way as tropical storm Faye caused so much damage due to the amount of time she hovered in one place, the negative and sinful behavior in my home had also been hovering without course correction for far too long.

My husband and I have prayed over our son’s behavior. We have spoken to his teachers and anybody else that we thought could offer us advice on how to guide him to an understanding of how damaging his anger is. We have read book after book after book, looking for help. We have tried any reasonable suggestion and some not so reasonable ones in an attempt to reduce or eliminate the escalation of this harmful behavior.

The second point that struck a cord within me from this passage of scripture in Matthew was: “Thoughtlessly yell ‘stupid!’ at a sister and you are on the brink of hellfire.”

The use of the word ‘stupid’ has become one of my son’s staples. He flings that word out against anything or anyone who frustrates or angers him. Now I am not suggesting that my son has the mental capacity to yet understand the weight or seriousness of his actions. However it is my responsibility to teach my son that his words carry great significance and that he is to strive to build others up in his actions, words and deeds; rather than carelessly fling words about that cause discomfort, strife, hurt feelings and pain.

I have come to the painful conclusion that because I have allowed this behavior to continue, my son’s actions and words are destroying the peace in our home. The simple fact is that his words are killing! Not only the peace and calm in our home, but they are also destroying our ability to relate to him in the proper manner.

As I have been reflecting upon all of this, my heart has been troubled and the Holy Spirit has been speaking to me about my need to model appropriate behavior. I need to conduct an attitude check of my own life. Although I don’t use the word stupid, does my attitude, volume level or actions ever convey the message that someone or something is stupid? Do I all too often react in a sinful and angry manner?

I must trust God to be my daily portion. I need to rely upon the strength of the Spirit to help me to not react in negativity, or with returned anger, during my son’s outbursts; or for that matter to any other perceived injustice or hurt. The Holy Spirit has spoken to me that administering reproof for my son’s bad behavior is not enough. I should also be teaching and providing him with the tools to appropriately deal with his anger and frustration

In order to quiet the storm within my son, I must ensure that my stormy seas have been calmed and that I have confessed any sinful behavior to my Lord allowing me to be utilized to teach him through the outpouring of God’s love.

I can only accomplish this goal by immersing myself in God’s Holy Word and by faithfully praying for His wisdom and guidance.

Related Scripture Verses ~

“Teach me knowledge and good judgment, for I believe in your commands.” Psalm 119:66 (NIV)

“A wise son heeds his father's instruction, but a mocker does not listen to rebuke.” Proverbs 13:1 (NIV)

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26 (NIV)

2008-09-19T09:04:00.001-05:00

By These Stripes . . .

“But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.” Isaiah 53:5 (KJV)

My head began to pound, my palms became sweaty, and a deep ache flooded my heart. At once my hands began to shake and I found myself wondering if I would be able to complete the project that I was working diligently to finish.

The project that I was working on was a kitchen remodel. I had spent hour upon hour looking at paint chips, planning matching fabric for draperies, picking out coordinating tile for the back-splash and just the right blend of artwork to display upon the walls. I had decided to paint the kitchen and adjoining dining room utilizing three deepening shades, the first was called “Crescent Moon,” an almost off-white color, with a subtle undertone of yellow. The second shade is called, “Aztec Gold,” and very much plays off of its unique name. The third and final shade is called, “Wheat Bread,” and is almost the shade of a beautiful milk chocolate.

I worked diligently to develop a design plan that would tie these three color choices neatly together and bring a unified look to the space. Part of my design plan included painting an accent wall of vertical stripes on one of the kitchen walls using my three paint colors in varying widths.

An interior decorator I am not! So, I was so pleased with my ingenuity and forethought.

At this point one of the things you should know is that in my marriage my husband and I have worked out a deal when it comes to any household remodeling projects that need to be completed. This deal was hammered out over time when we began to realize that for us to maintain marital harmony it would be important for us to never work on any remodeling project together.

Our deal is this: “Whoever is in charge of a particular aspect of any project has the right to complete the project in any manner that they deem necessary and appropriate; and the other party (the one not in control) will not give advice, criticism, or critique while the project is being completed.” In effect this deal says, “If I am doing the work, I am totally in charge of the project and have the final say on color selection, decorating style, etc.” The same holds true if he is in charge of the project. This deal has served us very well over the years. We now take a look at any potential project and determine who will be responsible for the completion of which portions of the job.

On this particular kitchen remodel project, it was decided that my husband would be in charge of the demo on the dining room ceiling and hanging the new sheetrock to replace the ceiling that had been damaged by a water leak. He was also responsible for hiring someone to come out and apply the sheetrock mud to fill the joints and prepare the ceiling for paint. All of which he accomplished with my support and my tongue kept safely tucked into my mouth; with no coaching or suggestions on how to accomplish the project from me.

Once my husband’s portion of the project was complete, we had agreed that the balance of the kitchen remodel job would be my responsibility. This seemed very logical as my husband has never had much interest in decorating or design, he doesn’t enjoy stripping wallpaper or painting, and has always trusted my judgment when it comes to color and style. He is usually very happy with the outcome of a project, just as long as I stick to our agreement and do not ask for his help.

As with other projects I shared my design plans, decorating thoughts and color choices with him prior to purchase of materials. Because I shared my plans in advance of beginning the project, and he was pleased with my choices, I was of the opinion that this project would proceed to completion without any foreseeable issue.

So, what transpired that was the cause of the symptoms I related to you that threatened the completion of this project?

During one of my discussion sessions about the project with my husband I relayed to him my plan to paint one accent wall in the kitchen with vertical stripes. At that point he said to me, “I wish that you would reconsider painting stripes on the wall. I have never really cared for stripes.”

I told him that I would take his suggestion under advisement. However, he was to remember our agreement, that if I am doing the work, I have the final decision.

After my husband made his comment about the stripes, I pondered his request. I ran through many scenarios in my mind as to how I could accomplish my design goals in a manner that would produce the designer look that I wanted and would tie my three paint color choices together, without the vertical paint stripe treatment. Finally, I decided that my entire plan was based around those stripes, and I just “had to have them!”

As things worked out, the first opportunity that I had to resume work on my kitchen project was a Friday evening, and my husband just happened to be out of town attending a meeting. I saw his absence from the house as the perfect time to tackle the stripe treatment. I reasoned, my husband would not be around to second guess my math skills and my methods for marking the wall in preparation for paint application. And, maybe in small part, thought that once the stripes were on the wall he would like them, or at least would not be mad that I had not taken his suggestion.

Everything was going along according to plan until I had completed approximately one-half of the paint treatment. It was at that time that my head began to pound, my palms began to sweat, my heart started to ache and my hands began to shake.

After a few minutes of feeling baffled as to the origin of these physical symptoms, I realized that God was speaking to my heart. I realized that I was falling under conviction from the Holy Spirit; conviction that I should NOT be painting the stripes on my kitchen wall.

Suddenly, I realized that even though my husband and I have our very successful remodeling agreement in place, and even though we have agreed that the person in charge of the project has the final decision and vote, I, as a Christian wife, should honor the request and wishes of my husband.

If that were not bad enough, my mind then rolled over the thought, “How would I feel if I asked my husband for a similar consideration and he dismissed my request?” Of course my answer to that question was, “I would feel hurt and rejected, and as if my opinion did not matter to him.” OUCH!!!

As further complication to my newly acquired attack of conviction, I had just started teaching a new Bible study class at church on marriage and issues relating to how “A Wife is to Respect Her Husband.” This study began on Wednesday and my painting conviction was occurring on Friday. How in the world was I to look my class in the eyes and teach about “respecting ones husband” when I was failing so miserably at doing so?

I stopped painting and thought to myself, “God, couldn’t you have spoken to my heart several hours ago, before I started this project? Did you have to wait until I was this far into it?” My next thought was, “Now, what do I do?”

I took a break to consider my options and to pray. Option one was to let the paint dry, sand everything down and paint over the stripes returning the wall to a solid color. Option two was to stop where I was and wait for my husband to come home and ask for his opinion to see if he truly didn’t like the stripes. Option three was to finish the project.

I didn’t like option one, as it would have been very labor intensive and I did not feel as if I would be able to complete the project before my husband’s return home on Saturday. Option two didn’t seem to be the correct response either. So, I ended up choosing to finish the project.

While finishing the project I realized that when my husband returned home, I must offer him my apology for not respecting his wishes. I would tell him that even though I had operated under our remodeling agreement, I felt convicted that as a Christian wife, I should have honored his request as head of our household.

On Saturday when my husband returned home, I did just that. He graciously accepted my apology. He even offered that maybe he “should have taken the time to understand my plan better before passing his judgment.”

Through this project I have gained a better understanding of what it means to truly respect my husband. I have learned that even if I believe that I am entitled to do things my way because of an agreement that has been put in place, my responsibility will always be to err on the side of honoring my marital relationship over my desires or freedoms.

If I fail to honor and respect those who are near and dear to me, I am failing to honor God and in fact I am committing sin. When this happens, as it did to me in the case of the kitchen stripes, “My guilt overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear.” I must remember that sin is always crouching at my door. Sin desires to have me and the devil does not want to see me or my marriage succeed. But because of the sacrifice of Jesus, and the pain he endured on the cross, by His stripes I am healed. I praise His name and I thank Him for the power of a humbled and convicted spirit.

Post log: After a period of time, my husband decided that he actually likes the stripes! He said, “I have to admit that the stripes look good; although, I would not have wanted them painted on all the walls.” What a happy compromise! Score one for the home team!

“My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear.” Psalm 38: 4 (NIV)

“If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it." Genesis 4: 7 (NIV)

2008-09-05T10:46:00.007-05:00

In Search of Wisdom

“A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.” ~ Francis Bacon

“A single conversation across a table with a wise man is worth a month’s study of books.” ~ Chinese Proverb

“A single moment of understanding can flood a whole life with meaning.” ~ Author unknown

What is your opinion about the quotes above? Do you agree or disagree with them?

What is wisdom? What does wisdom mean to you? How is being wise different from being smart? Do you think that it is important to God that we obtain wisdom?

Websters.com defines wisdom as: 1 ~ the quality or state of being wise; (Thanks Mr. Webster that clears things up!); knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action. I like the second half of that definition. There is no way to learn or know truth apart from God. There is no just judgment apart from God and we cannot put our faith to work without action.

Many people believe that gaining knowledge is the same as having wisdom. But, knowledge is the accumulation of facts. All that you learn in school, in the Bible and through other experiences in life is knowledge. Every day that you go to school, you are learning knowledge. Scholars have much knowledge because they often spend their entire lives studying and researching. Yet knowledge is worthless if it is not correctly applied.

So, how about understanding? Understanding is a critical aspect relating directly to knowledge and wisdom. Understanding is a step beyond knowledge. It is the ability to evaluate the knowledge. This requires seeing the big picture, to see how the knowledge fits. To understand knowledge is to see the meaning or significance of the knowledge.

So that brings us back to our question; “What is wisdom?”

Very basically put, I believe that the Bible teaches that wisdom is, “A knowledge of God that brings about the skill to live God’s way.” Let’s take a look at some scripture verses together.

Proverbs 1: 1 – 6
“The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel: for attaining wisdom and discipline; for understanding words of insight; for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life, doing what is right and just and fair; for giving prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the young – let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance – for understanding proverbs and parables, the sayings and riddles of the wise.”

The proverbs were given to us as a tool for obtaining wisdom and then applying it toward living a disciplined life for God. The writer of proverbs gives us words of insight into the characteristics of God, so that we may be better equipped to understand His words.

Proverbs 4:5
“Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words, or swerve from them.”

We are to seek wisdom and understanding and then bury the truth in our hearts.

Proverbs 2:6
“For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.”

Who gives wisdom? We may seek wisdom, but unless God is involved we will not gain it. Let’s go back to page 1 and read again about knowledge and understanding. “Knowledge is the accumulation of facts. “To understand knowledge (or gain understanding) is to see the meaning or significance of knowledge.” Isn’t it amazing that apart from God, there are no facts; there is no meaning or significance in anything that we learn? This verse tells us this is so, “. . . from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. Apart from God, there is no truth. In the absence of truth, is there a point to learning?

Proverbs 8: 10 – 11
“Choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice gold, for wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her.”

Am I seeking the right kind of instruction? The kind that is more precious than rubies, is better than gold?

Proverbs 2: 33
“Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not ignore it”

If we desire to be wise, we must become students of the word. And, not ignore what we learn. Have you ever heard it said, “You may hear me, but you are NOT listening? I say that to my 3-year-old frequently. I believe that quote could be a good paraphrase of this verse in Proverbs.

Psalm 111: 10
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding.”

What does this verse tell us is the beginning of wisdom? Do you have a personal relationship with Jesus? If not, fearing the Lord is a good starting point.

James 3: 17 (MSG)
“Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others.”

The only way to have a holy life is to know God, and the test of your connection to God as described in this verse is, do you “get along with others”? This verse is further backed by the teaching of Jesus himself, where in Matthew 22: 37 we read, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

Did you see a recurring theme in these verses? Not only are we to study God’s word for knowledge and understanding, but we are to then put our learning into action. Wisdom comes through gaining understanding about how God wants you to live and then applying that understanding by putting it into practice in your daily life. If you do that over the course of your life, you’ll be wise! And as our verses tell us, being wise is better than being rich, popular, and famous, a great athlete, or any of the other earthly goals we set for ourselves.

So, as our thoughts turn to a new school year, I encourage you to focus on obtaining knowledge through the instruction in God's word as you seek true wisdom. As one who is suffering from the mental confusion and mind robbing effects of dealing with the progressive effects of Young Onset Parkinson’s Disease, I can tell you that the things I have learned in a classroom are not things that bring real value to my life, nor are they always easy to recall. However, the truths of God that I have buried in my heart over the past years, never leave me and they are the things that sustain my life. I encourage everyone to spend some time daily in the study of scripture and in prayer. Pray that God will bless you with wisdom as you study His word and that He will help you to apply the things that you learn to daily living.

2008-08-29T10:05:00.000-05:00

How cool is God?

Lately, since about mid July, every time I am feeling harried about something in life, during my quiet time with God I find myself reading a scripture verse that reminds me to just be quiet before God and allow Him to lead me.

This journey started when I found Zehpaniah 3:17 (NIV) "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

Then this morning I read: "So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he'll be there in no time." This one is from James 4: 7-8 (MSG)

Over and over again, God keeps prompting my heart to be quiet before Him. It may be to physically be quiet; as in to hold my tongue and not yell when my son acts in inappropriate ways, after he has been warned repeatedly. It may be to stop and remain quiet when I am searching for an answer. It may be to remind me that when I have a quiet spirit I am offering praise to God.

I am so grateful that God does honor our prayers to "Teach us His ways," and that he does quiet our hearts!

2008-08-12T09:38:00.001-05:00

WONDERINGS OF MY MIND

For many years I have wondered what it would be like to get older and have to visit the doctor on a regular basis. I wondered if, in my older years, I too would need to carry a pharmacy with me when I travel. I have wondered if I would ever be in the position of having to choose between buying groceries and buying my medications.

Well, it seems that some of those questions are already being answered for me. Although I don’t consider myself to be “older” just yet, my body has taken to feeling old. I guess that is just one of the down sides to being diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease.

As I prepare for vacation I have answered the question about carrying a pharmacy with me when traveling. Check the “YES” box on that one! I had to check each of my prescriptions and ensure that I would have enough of my medication to see me through the entire length of my trip, and call the pharmacy for a refill on the one that would run out during my trip. I just hope that the airline doesn’t think I am a druggie!

I also have realized that were it not for insurance, the cost of my drugs would be HUGE! So, I am thanking God that my husband has excellent insurance through his job. I truly feel for those on a fixed income who have no such benefit.

With PD not only do I have to visit my neurologist, who now wants to see me once every three months, but I also visit a Movement Disorder Specialist once every six months. So, I think I can safely mark the “visit the doctor on a regular basis” box as “YES,” too.

I guess that one of my biggest “wonderings” of all though would have to be, wondering what my life will look like in five, ten, twenty or more years into the future. I realize that Parkinson’s Disease is a progressive neurological disease and I know that my health will continue to deteriorate. However, I am doing better at taking a proactive approach to my health. I am trying to eat more healthy, and to exercise on a regular basis. I know that my mental outlook has a great deal to do with how I feel from day to day. But, most importantly I have surrendered my disease, my health and my life to the Lord’s direction.

It is strange to some people how I often say that even with all of the bad things that come from Parkinson’s Disease, having Parkinson’s Disease has not been the most terrible thing to enter into my life. Not at all! In fact, Parkinson’s Disease is teaching me to rely more fully on my Heavenly Father, to have great faith and dependence on His strength to see me through each day. So, in many ways I am grateful for carrying this thorn-in-the-flesh and I join with the Apostle Paul in saying, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (II Corinthians 12: 9 & 10 NIV)

My prayer in the midst of all of this is that I will act with strength and dignity, and that I will continually Praise the Lord!!

2008-07-19T20:07:00.000-05:00

YOU JUST GOTTA READ. . .

. . . “The Shack,” by William P. Young

No matter what, get your hands on a copy of this book and read it! I was loaned one and I read all 248 pages of it in one day! The book is mesmerizing and will take you on a journey into the very heart of God our Father, or as Mack, the main character in the book learns to call him, “Papa.”

Mr. Young weaves his story and plot so successfully that at times I would have to remind myself to breathe, as I became so riveted by the word pictures he painted. I was drawn so deeply into a world, which by the author’s admission is a work of fiction, yet I walked away feeling that Mr. Young so accurately captured the very essence of the three-person Trinity of God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Somehow, Mr. Young’s story makes perfect sense, and he brought me a step closer toward understanding that God is “especially fond of” each and every one of His created children.

God bless and enjoy the ride!

2008-07-16T13:54:00.001-05:00

Wallpaper Woes

If you are buying, selling or contemplating ever buying or selling a home, please read this!

First, please, please, please, promise me that you will never, ever, ever put wallpaper on any wall of your home! If you MUST do so, please, please, please, promise me that you will remove said wallpaper from the wall yourself before you sell your home and paint over said wall with a very neutral color. As they say on HGTV, “That rooster wallpaper you love so much may not suit the taste of the next owner!”

Second, please, please, please, promise me that you will never, ever, ever apply popcorn paint to any ceiling in your home. If you MUST do so, please, please, please, promise me that you will scrape said popcorn from the ceiling yourself before you sell your home and then paint the ceiling without any items that will fall from said ceiling if it is brushed with a broom. Another quote from HGTV, “Popcorn ceilings are so 1980’s. Always remove before placing your home on the market to receive the best sales price.”

Okay, so you may be wondering what has triggered my begging and pleading for every homeowner in the world to do away with wallpaper and popcorn textured ceilings. One word: Remodel! The 1980’s called my house and they demanded their kitchen, dining room, and upstairs hallway back! So, for the last few weeks I have been stripping wallpaper and dealing with the little white “popcorn” balls that fall off of my ceiling’s.

And let me tell ya, the previous owners not only put up 1980’s wallpaper, they put it up over drywall that had not been primed or painted; therefore it is tearing up the wallboard in many places when I am removing it, and if that weren’t bad enough, in several areas there are two layers of the hideous stuff! Not fun ya’ll!!

Well, hopefully my saga will be coming to an end soon and our home will be 1980’s tacky wallpaper free. As for those popcorn ceilings. . .

. . . well they will remain. With the way the job was going I was afraid to scrap said popcorn down because none of the drywall was hung properly and I was worried that the tape on the joints would not hold up if I began to scrap on them. Sigh! At least they will be crisp and white for another few years. And who knows, maybe by then we will be ready to sell the house and the next owners will get to deal with them.

2008-07-09T10:06:00.001-05:00

MUST SEE FILM OF THE YEAR ~ "FIREPROOF"

2008-07-01T08:53:00.002-05:00

LOVED, therefore CHOSEN

Recently I traveled to N.C. to participate in the Proverbs 31 conference, “She Speaks.” On Saturday evening after a particularly moving testimony and presentation by Renee Swope, all women were asked to write down any doubts or fears that needed to be released in order to know and serve Him more fully. We were instructed to take the doubt and fear and lay it at the foot of the cross and replace it with a scripture verse of promise that had been left at the cross for us to pick up.

Here is an excerpt from a blog post by Renee that better describes the scene for you. “Hundreds of cards with eleven different promises were created and placed at the foot of the cross on Saturday night. We anointed them with prayer and watched, knowing that as women came forward to lay down their doubts they would pick up God’s personal promise and His new name for them. It was beautiful!!!!

The next day I heard that many women didn’t know that there was a word “shadowed” on the card behind their verse. The news spread that there was more. It was SO powerful to see women look beyond the first promise to see the second one in a shadow behind it.”

At the conclusion of Renee’s post referenced above she requested that those of us who attended “She Speaks” write to share the promise we picked up at the foot of the cross, the shadowed word behind it and how the verse spoke to our hearts or what it meant to us.

The following is the verse that I received.

“. . . for you are a chosen (women). You are a royal priest, a holy (daughter). God’s very own possession. As a result you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.” I Peter 2:9

I have to admit that the first time I read my verse my thought was something like this, “Oh, well, that’s nice.“ But as so often happens with God, when I read the verse again in my quiet time, several of His perfect truths from this verse began to penetrate my heart.

The first words that reached in and touched my heart were, “you can show others the goodness of God.” Since the adoption of my son I have been struggling with what I guess would best be described as an ‘identity’ crisis. I have been a working professional woman for most of my adult life, and now I find myself in the position of having a child to raise. And albeit a true blessing from God that I find myself once again in the role of Mommy, I do admit that this role has been a challenge for me.

I have been feeling God calling to me and asking me to join Him in a very active role in raising my son. I have sensed the Spirit asking me to give up my job, take my son out of daycare and spend these very important first years of his life teaching him about the love of God.

For me, this has seemed like an impossible task. First, the issue of finances and how can we make ends meet if I am not working? “Trust me!” Seemed to be His reply. Second, my doubt, fear and insecurity as I complained, “Lord, I am so inadequate. How can I, with all of my sin and failings, teach my son about Your love?” But through this verse, God once again spoke to me and reminded me that I can, with the help of the Holy Spirit, show my son the goodness of God.

In my wrestling within myself over this calling, or ministry if you will, I have realized that I also have been fighting the sin of anger. I have been angry about many things. I have been angry because I was diagnosed with Early Onset Parkinson’s Disease in 2006. I don’t want this disease and I know that the disease steals my energy, causes aches and pain, and often impairs my ability to cope with things in a calm and rational manner. I have struggled with anger because I have felt that I am being asked to give up a part of who I am to take on the full-time Mommy role. But most of all I have felt anger because I feel so inadequate to take on the challenge that God has placed before me. I know how to succeed in business, however I am less convinced about my mothering skills, at least if I am to do the job with any amount of success. Yet God’s promise says that He has “called me out of darkness into His wonderful light.”

And finally, as I looked at my promise from scripture I realized that the shadow word is “CHOSEN.” Any time a person becomes a parent, God has chosen to match two individuals in this unique relationship. But I think that in an adoption situation the truth in that statement is even more profound. God CHOSE me to be my son’s mother! Flaws and all! I am God’s royal priest, His holy daughter. I am His possession, and so is my son. God is calling me to this highly honorable mission field and He can and will equip me to carry out my duties.

It is with this assurance that I am free from doubt, fear and insecurity. It is now that I can embrace this mission field and teach my son to know God, and to love and trust in Him.

“Dear Lord, Your love is amazing! Your word brings life and truth. I give myself to you and to this new area of ministry. I place my son in your hands and ask that you strengthen me for the journey ahead. Please bless me with wisdom, compassion, strength, and grace to display the love of Jesus in everyday life. Help me to make you real in my son’s life. Not some far away, living up in the clouds God, but a very real and personal God who loves to give good gifts to His children. I wholeheartedly seek you and ask you to become greater in my life. I seek more of you and less of me. I thank you for answering righteous prayer. In Jesus name, Amen.”

2008-06-23T09:42:00.001-05:00

“She Speaks” Doesn’t Disappoint

My expectations for “She Speaks” this year were very different from last-year. Last year, I went hoping to grow my relationship with God, but I also went hoping that one of my meetings with book publishers would net me a book contract. Not so that I could become the next Beth Moore, but because I truly felt that I had some good information to share with my fellow Christian sisters.

This year however, I cancelled both of my meetings with book publishers. I did this for several reasons. First among my reasons, was that this year I really wanted to attend “She Speaks” without the added stress that those meetings cause. Second I was not able to pull my two sample chapters together with the degree of professionalism, polish and finish that I felt was necessary, and third; the most important reason of all, I wanted to attend without distraction so that I could clearly hear the sound of my Master’s voice. You see, for many weeks prior to the conference I had been asking God in prayer to speak to me in a great way during the “She Speaks” conference. I had been wrestling with some big issues and I felt that God would speak great truths to me during this time with the P31 team.

Well let me just tell ya, when God shows up He shows up in a BIG way!! This year, not only did God help me answer many questions, he affirmed my calling in ministry. Through the ministry and words of the P31 team, He gave me hope, peace, rest, and spiritual rejuvenation. I was strengthened and encouraged in my daily walk with the Lord. I came home to my family ready to blaze new God honoring paths in the name of Jesus Christ.

Praise His Holy Name forever and ever!

Special thanks, Big Hugs and lots of Love to all the women of the P31 Team! You all ROCK!!

2008-06-11T15:13:00.001-05:00

Then I Prayed Some More

If you have read my post from May 30th, entitled Answered Prayer, you will know that I am getting ready to attend “She Speaks.” You will also know that I have been attempting to pull together a book proposal to be presented to a couple of publishing houses.

Well, after many attempts at writing the content for the proposal, nothing is really working the way I would like for it to be. So, although I still am convinced that the book is worthy of writing, and I believe that I have much to share through this book; I have decided that this is not the year for me to move forward with presenting my ideas.

I called the Proverbs 31 office and requested that my book presentation appointments be given to the first person on the waiting list. I have prayed earnestly for the woman who will be ‘pitching’ her idea to these people. I have a great peace about this decision, so I am feeling that I made the right decision. I am feeling as if a weight has been pulled off of my shoulders and I am excited about attending the conference without that added stress. I am looking forward to just being quiet before the Lord and allowing Him to speak to me. Having the distraction of meeting with publishers last year seemed to impede my listening skills.

I will continue to work on my book, and as I said before, I will accomplish the goal of putting together a complete manuscript. I will trust the Lord with this project, and I will continue to seek to glorify God in every aspect of my life.

2008-05-30T10:36:00.003-05:00

Answered Prayer

As I am preparing to attend “She Speaks” I have been trying to work on a book to present to a group of publishers. To say the least, it has not been going very well. As I have struggled for many days with this project my prayers have gone something like this, “Dear Lord, I believe that you placed a calling on my life to write. I believe that you gave me talent to string words together that are clear and concise and that point readers to you. But God, you know that right now I am struggling with this current project. I seem to not have the words, the tools, or the inspiration to get the job done. I have a deadline to meet if I am to present this book at the conference I will be attending. So, Dear Lord I am surrendering this project to you, if it is your will that this book get written please clear away all of the distractions. Please give me the very words you would have written, and take away any selfish ambitions or areas of sin in my life that would keep me from living out your plan for my life.”

God’s timing is perfect and so is His plan, if only we can release ourselves to wait and watch for His hand to move, then follow along with Him. Today, three weeks before I needed to have two sample chapters put together to take to “She Speaks” to present, God lead me, during my daily devotion and quiet time, to the verse in Ephesians above. How fitting and how divine are the words, “He’s using us all – irrespective of how we got here – in what he is building. . . . Now he’s using you, fitting you in brick by brick, stone by stone, with Christ Jesus as the cornerstone that holds all the parts together.”

God led me to scripture that described this very book that I feel He was compelling me to write. As I read the words in my Bible this morning, my eyes flooded with tears. How could there be any doubt that I am to write this book? How could I ever doubt that indeed my life has been built brick by brick to serve God?

I know that, short of a miracle, I won’t have the book completed before I go to “She Speaks,” but what I do know is that I will make the presentation, and no matter what comes from my meetings with these publishers, my book will be written, it will be read by someone one day, and most importantly, God will be glorified!!

Praise His Name!

Oh, BTW ~ The Title of the book is: Brick by Brick, Building a Life for Service to God

2008-05-29T11:26:00.001-05:00

“SHE SPEAKS” 2008

Oh Boy, Oh Boy! Just three weeks from today I leave for the Proverbs 31 “She Speaks” conference for 2008. I am so pumped! I know that Lysa and all the team have worked so hard to make everything bigger and better than ever.

What makes this event so wonderful? Most importantly, I think, it is that each attendee can rest assured that the P31 team has spent many hours in prayer preparation for the event. Seriously y’all, they cover every aspect of the conference in prayer and they pray specifically for every person who will be attending; by name. This year that means that they have prayed for at least 500 women. Talk about prayer warriors!!

I know that lives will be changed, hearts touched, that Jesus will be praised, and women will be equipped to carry the gospel message to many more because of this event.

For those of you who will be attending, I hope to get to meet many of you. (With 500 women running around I know I won’t get to meet everyone.) For those of you who cannot go this year, I pray that you will be able to attend next year.

Blessings all!

2008-05-18T14:49:00.003-05:00

Shhh, Quiet Please

“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.” (Zephaniah 3: 17 NIV)

I love the verse of scripture above. It has become an intense prayer of my heart.

“Lord, please quiet me with your love.”

Webster’s dictionary gives many definitions for the word quiet, but the ones that I like most, that fit my prayer, follow.

· restrained in speech, manner, etc.; saying little: a quiet person.
· free from disturbance or tumult; tranquil; peaceful: a quite life.
· Free from disturbing thoughts, emotions, etc.; mentally peaceful: a quiet conscience.
· Said, expressed, done, etc., in a restrained or unobtrusive way: a quiet reproach; a quiet admonition. 1

In the recent weeks I have been struggling with discipline issues for my 3-year-old son. My running prayer has gone something like this,

“Lord, I need a daily portion of your manna in the area of strength, patience and wisdom. I am feeling so incapable of being the Mother my son needs me to be. His father and I seem to be at an impasse in reaching him. In getting him to understand and follow the rules of the house. Temper my heart with love, grace and compassion. Help me to teach and not punish, allow me to guide with grace.”

Then, as so often happens with God, one morning as I was reading my Bible, God graciously led me to Zephaniah 3: 17. Although, the whole verse is good, the section that took my breath away was, “he will quiet you with his love.”

It was as if God gently flooded my soul with the answer that I had been searching for. God spoke to me and said I needed to allow Him to quiet my spirit, and my manner of addressing my son.

I would love to report that things in our household are now running 'quietly' and smoothly all of the time, but that would be incorrect. But, what is changing is my reaction when my son breaks or violates the house rules. These seven very simple words permeate my actions and my reactions, and keep me on track with God’s plan.

I may never be the mother I would like to be; but God, when I get out of His way and allow Him to work through me, is more than able. I praise His Holy Name for that great gift today!

1 From www.websters.com - “quiet”

2008-05-08T14:52:00.002-05:00

Out of the Corner of My Eye – Part Two

“But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God—the free life!—even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action.” (MSG – James 1: 25)

In my last post on this subject I began to ponder a few questions based upon the verse above.

My first question was this; “What or more accurately who, is the revealed counsel of God.”

My answer was: One name: Jesus. Our Lord and Savior lived an earthly existence to provide us a glimpse into the heart and mind of God our Father, to set an example of how we should live our lives, and the sacrifice Jesus made through His shed blood, poured out at the foot of the cross paved the way for us to be redeemed of sin and to give us the hope of eternal life. (John 6:47)

The second question, or more accurately put second and third questions were:

“If I am truly no longer a ‘distracted scatterbrain but a woman of action,’ what actions should I be focused upon?” And, “If I focus on carrying out those actions, will I truly find ‘delight and affirmation’ by doing them?

After many days of reflection and time spent with the Lord in His word, the impressions that are on my heart in answer to these questions follow.

Please keep a couple of things in mind as you read my thoughts. First, these are the things God has placed on my heart. Each person will be different, and the ‘action items’ that God places on your heart may look totally different from mine. Second, often I tend to be a little slow at realizing what God is trying to teach me and it takes me a while to get on board with His plan for my life.

1st Action Step – God is to become greater, I am to become lesser! “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” (Deuteronomy 6:5 NIV) I have embarked on a journey to not think so highly of myself. Not that I am putting myself down. I realize how truly blessed I am to be loved by the King; Most High God. But, as Louie Giglio says, “i am not, but I know I AM.”

This action step is tough. It goes against everything that most of us have ever felt, been taught, and believed. The world shouts at us to make a name for ourselves. We are encouraged to amass as much of the worlds toys as possible. We are told to do whatever it takes to climb the ladder to success. But, I must remember these are lies of the world, brewed by the master of evil and are contrary to God’s perfect teachings. In God’s word He tells us, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." (I Peter 5:5 b, NIV) I not only want God’s grace, but I desperately need it as well. To more fully enjoy the riches of God’s grace I need to practice humility. Make much ado about Jesus and pay less attention to attempts at garnering glowing reviews on my performance.

2nd Action Step - “Pray without ceasing.” (I Thess. 5:17 NKJV) This means I am to pray about everything. The big things in life and the small things. When I arise in the morning and all throughout the day. Not just during my devotion time, or before I close my eyes at night, but all the time! My continuous prayer has become, “Dear Lord, grant me an attitude of prayer in all of life circumstances, no matter what I am doing.”

3rd Action Step – Humility begins at home. I am being called to become a better model of a godly wife for my husband. “The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition.” (I Peter 3: 1-4 MSG) I am to honor him with my actions, my words and my deeds. I am to be quick to praise and slow to anger. God is teaching me many ways that I can improve my performance in this area.

4th Action Step – Make showing Jesus to my sons a priority. “Write these commandments that I've given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates.” (Deuteronomy 6:7 MSG) I must be daily in the word. I must be ready, at any given minute, to respond to the challenges of parenthood with Godly instruction. I desire to point the way to Jesus by the manner in which I live my life. This is critical in raising children. Without knowledge of God, a child has no true compass; no way to reach the full potential for their lives that God uniquely designed them to fill.

Looking over this list of action steps, I realize that I have my work cut out for me. Each one of these things will challenge me, and test my resolve to follow Jesus. All combined, I realize that apart from the grace of God I would have no chance for success. I realize that, this side of heaven at least, I will never grow to the point of living in a state of perfection on any of my action items. But, praise God, He doesn’t call us to live a perfect life. He calls us to have a heart that desires to do a little better each day, and to strive to live out the desire to grow in Him.

“Father God, Thank you for your grace. Thank you for your amazing word and how it has the power to soften my heart and change my life. Thank you for not expecting perfection from me. I pray that you will give me the strength, willpower and determination to open myself fully to your revealed word. I pray that I might willingly surrender any stronghold that keeps me from hearing your voice and following as one of your faithful sheep. Help me to allow You to become greater while I become lesser, assist me toward giving myself to a life of prayer without ceasing, please help me to become more humble, and give me the knowledge and wisdom to point my sons to your unfailing love. I ask this in the precious Lord and Savior, Jesus.”

2008-05-08T09:12:00.001-05:00

PLAN NOW TO SEE "FIREHOUSE" COMING THIS FALL!

2008-04-30T14:42:00.001-05:00

Out of the Corner of My Eye

“But whoever catches a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God—the free life!—even out of the corner of his eye, and sticks with it, is no distracted scatterbrain but a man or woman of action. That person will find delight and affirmation in the action.” (MSG – James 1: 25)

I don’t know what your life is like, but lately I have definitely been acting like a distracted scatterbrain; and I don’t like it at all! So, when I read this passage of scripture this morning my interest was piqued. This verse tells me that if I catch a glimpse of the revealed counsel of God, even out of the corner of my eye, I am not a distracted scatterbrain but a woman of action.

As I began to ponder the verse, a couple of questions came to mind.

First, I must question, “What or more accurately who, is the revealed counsel of God.” I think that it would be safe to answer that one with one name: Jesus. Our Lord and Savior lived an earthly existence to provide us a glimpse into the heart and mind of God our Father, to set an example of how we should live our lives, and the sacrifice Jesus made through His shed blood, poured out at the foot of the cross paved the way for us to be redeemed of sin and to give us the hope of eternal life. (John 6:47)

What I find intriguing is that this verse doesn’t command that I must reach some goal or lofty religious pinnacle of success to gain the ‘free life.’ Rather, it states that all that is required is that I ‘catch a glimpse’ of Jesus. I like that! I am human. I fail. Often many times I fail before I can even begin to gain a small amount of ground in my quest to live life more as Jesus did. You see I really want to follow Jesus and live my life out loud for him, but I struggle with selfish desire and human weakness. I can relate to the apostle Paul when he wrote, “For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.” (Romans 7:19 NIV)

What makes this verse even more powerful for me is the fact that I have very limited peripheral vision in my left eye due to a birth-defect. So, this verse provides me hope and assurance that when my heart and mind remain set on following the path of Jesus, I have already won the race for the free life. Yes, there will be times when I fall down as I run. Yes, there will be times when I become distracted by the things of this world. There will even be times when I hurt the cause of Christ by my selfish and sinful actions. However, as long as I sincerely desire the cross of Jesus to shine in my life, even a slight vision of Jesus out of the corner of my eye, will allow me to repent and quickly jump back on track and finish the race strong. Now that’s what I call, the power of God’s amazing grace.

The second question that this verse brought to my mind is this. “If I am truly no longer a ‘distracted scatterbrain but a woman of action,’ what actions should I be focused upon?” And, “If I focus on carrying out those actions, will I truly find ‘delight and affirmation’ by doing them?”

These are some really BIG thoughts for my little mind to ponder. For the next few days I intend to mull them over and allow my soul to steep in the thoughts that the Holy Spirit impresses upon me.

If this verse speaks to you, I invite you to put the kettle on and brew yourself up a big helping of reflective Jesus tea, and ask the Lord to reveal to you what action you should to be taking. I’ll come back in a few days and let you know what has been placed on my heart. If you are willing to take up the challenge and are willing to share your thoughts about this verse, please post a comment to share.

May God bless and enrich many coasts through this time!

2008-04-13T13:30:00.002-05:00

COMPASSION

I have been moved to think a lot about this word just lately. It started with a blog posting by Lysa TerKeurst. Since I read Lysa’s post requesting help for the children of Liberia, I have been praying about my level of compassion. I have been seeking God’s direction for how I can better utilize my spiritual gifts, my talents, and my abilities, to reach out to others in ‘compassion’ to share the great news of our loving Savior, Jesus Christ.

Then, my thinking and my heart were challenged yet again today by the sermon message at church entitled: “When the Holy Spirit Empowers the Church – Inspired to Influence,” which was presented by our youth pastor, Tom Buchanan. Our main scripture reference was, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32 But the challenge of the day was simply this; “What are some of the things our church body, you and I, willing to do to make a difference for the cause of Christ? How can we reach out to show “compassion”?”

Personally, I have been kicking around an idea that I feel has been laid upon my heart by the Holy Spirit. I am still formulating a plan in my mind as to how I can utilize some of my talents, skills, abilities and spiritual gifts. I feel God gently urging me to use my talent for writing, my ability to take photographs, my skill at organization and desktop publishing, and my spiritual gift of teaching to develop a tool to focus attention on ways that people can be more compassionate. I may post more about this idea if I continue to feel that the idea is from God, and if He leads me to proceed.

However, no matter whether this ‘idea’ turns into a workable and doable thing or not, I know that I am called to reach out with compassion to share with others the love of Christ. I am realizing that although I do not always have the monetary means of expressing compassion and to meet expressed needs by providing $$ support, I can meet needs in other ways. In fact, for me to not seek out ways to do so would be a sin of omission.

Further, as I ponder this accountability to compassion I had some thoughts as to how I, and possibly you, can start simply.

· Cook my husband’s favorite meal, to express gratitude for being “head-of-the-household”
· Spend an extra 30-minutes of uninterrupted, focused attention with my child(ren) this week, just to connect and bond
· Change out my husband’s clothing – put away winter things, pull out the spring and summer things
· Pack up a bag of unused clothing (from the sort above) and take them to the donation center
· Visit an elderly person in a nearby convalescent home
· Take a hot meal to a family with a loved one in the hospital or having to attend therapy or treatments of some type
· Volunteer to baby-sit for a couple who have no family in the immediate area

This list is by no means exhaustive; get creative, and have fun coming up with ways to express your compassion!

Sometimes, in the midst of our busy lives we forget to extend compassion to those in our own communities or more importantly to those living within the four walls we call home. We can start small by extending compassion to those most important to us and build up to broaden our circle of reach. It is all about a shift in the attitude of our heart and then putting feet to our faith.

2008-04-08T09:58:00.000-05:00

“Mommy wrecked my bike!”

When did my son get to the age where he tells all of my secrets? How is it possible? He can’t be growing up!!

The weather in Southeastern Illinois was just beautiful yesterday. So, after I picked my son up from daycare, we spent a little time outside playing. He wanted to practice peddling his bike. Now for those of you who have never tried to teach a three-year-old to ride a bike, let me just tell you, extreme patience is required!!! Several times throughout the experience I had to remind myself to relax. I caught myself sounding more like a drill sergeant, than a loving mother.

“Look where you are going! Peddle, peddle hard! No, don’t peddle backwards, that puts on the brake and makes the bike stop!” (Like a three-year-old has a clear understanding of the concept of backwards and forwards peddling. I needed a reality check on that one!) I had to remind myself that it really would be okay if he didn’t master the feat in one day of practice. The sun was not going to fall from the sky if he didn’t get it today.

As my beautiful and determined little boy kept working hard, I realized that possibly the seat on the bike was a little too low for optimal performance to be accomplished. I thought that if I would raise it up a bit, it could make the peddling easier for him. So, off to the garage we went. I tried to get the screw loose to move that seat, but no luck.

However, I did manage to allow the bike to fall off of the table where I had placed it to try to work on it, and when it hit the ground one of the training wheels broke off. My son looked up at me and said, “Mommy you wrecked my bike!” Now what could I say to that? It was true, I had wrecked his bike. Although he was a little sad, he must have been tired out, because when I told him that I would make sure that his bike got fixed and we would practice again another day, he didn’t put up much of a fuss.

What added insult to my injured pride at not being able to help my son by raising that bike seat, was that when my husband called from out of town last night, the first thing my son wanted to share was how “Mommy wrecked my bike!” Then I had to reveal the whole story to my husband and share with him how painfully inadequate I have become with a wrench! Now I guess I’m going to have to stay out of the garage and away from the hand tools. Just think of the damage I could have done if say, “I had decided to change the oil in my vehicle or rotate my tires?”

2008-03-19T14:43:00.000-05:00

Friday Blessings

When I say, “God is amazing,” I mean He is really amazing. Two things have happened lately that reaffirm this to me.

One. This past Friday, in the wee hours of a new day, God spoke to my groggy mind. He called me from my warm bed. He said He wanted to spend a little time with me. One may ask me, “Joanie, how did God speak to you.” The answer to that question is simply, “God spoke by placing a gentle nudge on my heart when I awoke from a deep sleep suddenly troubled and worried about an announcement that I was to give in church the following Sunday.” There was no burning bush, no thundery voice from heaven, just a gentle (and persistent) tug at my heart that I needed to get out of bed, go downstairs and pray and read a few passages from God’s word.

So, obediently I got out of bed and proceeded downstairs. Once I got downstairs, I was somewhat unsure of how to proceed. I decided to light a three wick candle to read my Bible by and as I lit each wick I said, “Father God, please come and join with me. Lord Jesus, please enter this place and be with me. Holy Spirit, I ask that you come and be present, lead me and guide me, give me divine understanding.” After I did this, I felt that my heart was ready for prayer as I felt such a peace wash over my countenance. I then asked that any barrier to hearing from the Lord be removed from my life, and I asked God to guide me to the words in Scripture that He wished me to read.

My prayer led me to Psalm 71. As I read the words of that Psalm, words jumped off the page at me. Thoughts flowed from my mind as I would pause to contemplate the words I had just read, and then I would reread the words once again. I was filled with marvel and wonder! The words had a melody to them. There were words of praise. There words of advice. There were words for living life – no make that they were words of life!!

I spent several hours on my knees in my living room floor and the hours felt as only minutes; precious life-giving minutes. I was given a new direction for the words I was to speak in church on Sunday morning. I was given new thoughts on how to close out a six-week Bible study class that I had been co-leading! God’s word became so active and alive for me during those early hours of Friday morning!

No, this was not the first time I have climbed out of a warm bed to meet with God during the middle of the night; but it was by far one of the most memorable times. After the refreshing that God blessed me with during this time with Him you can bet that the next time I feel God tugging at my heart to join Him, I will JUMP out of bed and run down the steps to meet Him!

Oh, and by-the way, the second amazing thing that occurred happened at the last of the six-week Bible study. When I began to read from Psalm 71 my co-leader stopped me to say, “God gave me this same passage of scripture to read on Thursday night before I went to sleep.” How cool is that? This lady and I have a connection that is so deep and God blesses both of us with the same passage of scripture within a 10-hour window of time.

Isn’t God neat?

2008-03-07T13:51:00.004-06:00

Today I am participating in a Recipe Swap -
from a Blog Post by Lysa TerKeurst

Once you check out my recipe, click on her link and you can return to Lysa's site and check out the other great recipe suggestions. http://www.lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/

I am always searching for new recipes. Especially ones that are easy and really good. So, both recipies below are easy and delicious! Yummy!

Baked Tilapia:

8 Tilapia Filets
1/2 cup real mayonnaise
1/2 cup Velveeta Cheese, coarsely shredded
1 teaspoon crumbled blue cheese
1 cup potato chips crushed
olive oil or vegetable spray
sea salt and black pepper
garlic powder, for sprinkling
paprika (optional)

Preheat oven to 400F. Spray a small baking sheet with olive oil or vegetable non-stick spray (or line pan with parchment paper or aluminum foil before coating with a fine mist of oil for easy clean-up). Place fish filets on pan. Sprinkle lightly with sea salt, ground black pepper, and a light dusting of garlic powder. In a small bowl, combine mayonnaise with Velveeta and blue cheese. Spread mixture over fish. Sprinkle with potato chips and paprika. Bake for 8-15 minutes, or until fish is no longer translucent and is flaky white.

Grilled Veggie Packets:

Mix together in a large bowl:

¼ C butter (melted)
2 Tbs. Dijon mustard
2 tsp. lemon juice
3 tsp. thyme (can use dried)
1 Tbs. honey
½ tsp. black pepper

Add the following and toss:
6 mini corn cobs
1 large red onion cut into small wedges
1 red bell pepper – cut into strips
1 green bell pepper – cut into strips
1 cup baby carrots
About 4/5 small red potatoes – quartered

Tear aluminum foil into 6 sheets and place equal amounts of veggies onto each and then fold aluminum foil into sealed pouches.

Place pouches on pre-heated grill and cook over medium heat for approximately 35 – 45 minutes. (Until veggies are tender.)

Can also be baked in pre-heated over at 350° for 45 minutes, or until tender.

2008-03-06T09:37:00.000-06:00

Bloggy, blog, blahh!!!

I have been wanting to have a few minutes to write down some profound thoughts to share with anyone who may venture to my blog site. But alas, life has been nipping at my heels of late.

Take a quick journey with me. Last Saturday, the 29th, by late evening my son complained that the left side of his neck hurt. His Daddy asked, “Did Gabe fall down and hit his neck?” So, being Mommy, I asked Gabe what was wrong. I checked his throat, which was a tiny bit red, felt his neck which seemed slightly swollen, and then I felt his head for a temperature, which seemed to be perfectly normal. By late Saturday night Gabe was awake and crying. He kept saying his neck hurt and it was clear that his throat was becoming swollen. By Sunday morning it was clear that Gabe was one sick little boy. The left side of his neck was so swollen that he appeared to have half of a softball tucked into his cheek. His throat was also swollen to the point that he had only an ink pen size opening to breathe through. It was clear that we had to take him to the ER.
Once we arrived at the ER we thought that we would be given a prescription for antibiotics and sent home. After all our community had seen a wide spread outbreak of strep-throat over the recent days. That was not to be the case. By 6:00 p.m. my little boy was hooked up to an I.V. and was admitted to the hospital. A CAT scan of his neck was inconclusive, except to the point that the doctors could tell us that Gabe was suffering from a massive infection. The swelling was too great to determine if he had a cyst or an infected gland. The doctors put Gabe on IV antibiotics and we waited to see if his condition would improve.

Praise God, the antibiotics began to work. By Wednesday morning Gabe was up and playing and more than ready to go home. Finally, we were released from the hospital on Wednesday evening, the 3rd, about 6:30 p.m. We still did not have answers as to what the cause of the infection was, but at least we were able to go home.

I decided to keep Gabe at home through the rest of the week, just to be on the safe side. I didn’t need him to return to Pre-K and day-care and get exposed to some virus and add to the problems that we were dealing with.

This illness took me away from my job for one-full week. I realized that my place was with my family, but at the same time I knew that I would be behind in my job duties when I did return to work. I also missed leading a Bible study class on Sunday night. This meant that my dear friend and co-leader of the Bible study had to pick up my slack. Additionally, I missed one-week of working on plans for an upcoming women’s ministry mini-retreat.

Can you feel my stress mounting? Now this week I am back at work. Well after taking one-half of the day off on Monday to take Gabe to the pediatrician for a post-hospitalization follow-up appointment, then going in to work about ½ hour late on Tuesday due to icy and snow covered roads. I am trying to catch all of my work up, and trying to catch up on my women’s ministry event duties, plus prepare for the next Bible study class that will be held on Sunday evening.

You see what I mean? Life has really been nipping at my heels.

But through it all, my God has been faithful. I wish that I could tell you that I have handled all of this with “strength and dignity,” but alas, that would be a lie. I can however affirm to you that, “With God’s grace I will not only survive, but thrive.” And, I have a little something to share on my bloggy, blog, blog!

2008-02-14T12:19:00.000-06:00

Laughing with Gabe

I have never considered myself to be a very humorous person. I tend to be more the serious quiet type. I have always admired anyone who can make others laugh, so long as it is not at the expense of someone else.

Since the adoption of my son, I have been prayerfully seeking God about my sense of humor; or better put, my lack thereof. You see, I really want to be able to laugh and have fun with my son. I don’t want to be serious all of the time. Nor, do I want to pass up any opportunity to share a giggle with him so that he feels joy in his heart.

God is amazingly providing answer to this prayer. I am finding that I am much less stressed these days, and I am even able to laugh at some things that I previously would have found no humor in.

For example, the other night I was trying to get Gabe out of the bathtub. I had allowed him to play for longer than usual, and I was ready to get him in his pajamas and off to bed. The thing I was looking forward to was having some quiet time and the opportunity to talk to my husband and watch a little TV; without interruption. I had asked Gabe twice to stand up so that I could lift him from the tub and dry him off.

On the first request my voice was soft and my tone was friendly. By the second request, the volume of the request was louder, and my tone was taking on a harsh edge. My husband was listening to this exchange from the next room. He is not one to make second requests. He believes that Gabe should comply with any requests made of him the first time.

So, my husband says, using his best ‘stern Daddy voice, “Gabe, you heard your mother. Do I need to count to three?”

To which Gabe replied, “Daddy, you be patient, okay?”

I couldn’t help myself. I started to laugh. Luckily, so did Gabe’s Daddy. There was so much wisdom and maturity in Gabe’s statement. Although, he was not moving fast enough to suit me or his Daddy, he was moving, and didn’t want to be rushed.

As I have reflected upon this event, I realize that God was giving me a gift during that every day ordinary moment in life. God spoke to my heart and asked me to slow down and treasure the many times that Gabe says or does funny things. God does not want me to rush through life being so serious that I let the little things that can bring joy to my heart pass right by without my notice. Gabe wanted to enjoy a little more time with us. God wants us to enjoy a little more time with Him.

How can I do that today?

2008-01-31T12:31:00.000-06:00

Looking Back, “She Speaks” Conference Reminds:
Never Enough of God in My Life

Bringing in a new year has caused me to pause and reflect on the year of 2007. Many exciting events have taken place in 2007 that have changed my life. Not the least of these changing events was the adoption of my son on August 17th, 2007. The other life changing event was my attendance of the Proverbs 31 “She Speaks” conference.

Anytime a child is brought into a family it is inevitable that life will change. This is especially true when a child is adopted at the age of 34 months, (2 years and 10 months, for those of you who, like me, are a little math challenged.) by a woman who was very comfortable with her very quiet, orderly, organized, neat, and often very selfish lifestyle.

Needless to say, my home is no longer quiet. Nor, is it orderly, organized, and neat. More often than not one would be likely to find my home in a state of cluttered, messy, chaos. However, I am happy to admit, the adoption of this miracle child has forced me to become less selfish and more dependent upon the Lord. I wish that I could say that giving up some of my selfish desires has come easily. However, the truth of the matter is that I am a fighter, and tend to give up my selfish desires only when I am forced to do so, and then only while kicking and screaming.

Another of the changes that this wonderful addition to my life has brought about is a renewed desire to grow closer to my precious Savior; Jesus Christ. This desire was cultivated not only by my son’s adoption, and the realization that I want to give my very best to my efforts to raise him in a home where God is placed first above all else; but also by the faith and witness of one very special woman, Lysa TerKeurst.

For those of you who may not know Lysa, she is the President of Proverbs 31 Ministries, co-host of the ministries national radio program and she is the award winning author of several books, including her latest release, What Happens When Women Walk in Faith, as well as What Happens When Women Say Yes to God, Leading Women to the Heart of God, and many other wonderful titles. She is the featured writer for the monthly magazine, P31 Woman and has had her work published in other publications such as Focus on the Family magazine and Crown Financial Ministries’ Money Matters.

My first encounter with Lysa was through reading some of her online devotions, posted at http://proverbs31.gospelcom.net/. The second encounter I experienced with Lysa was at a women’s retreat in Sullivan Indiana during the early summer of last year. Lysa was to be the keynote speaker and I was so excited about attending the conference. At the time of this conference I was knee deep in the roller-coaster ride of emotions surrounding my son. He was living in my home in a foster care capacity, and it was uncertain when if we would ever receive the blessing of adopting him. I had high hopes that I would gain a fresh perspective on life in general and a renewed desire to grow closer to my Savior at this conference. Lysa did not disappoint me, nor were my expectations of a life-changing experience left wanting.

Lysa’s Biblical insights were life changing, she was inspiring, fresh funny and clearly on fire for the Lord; and she mixed every topic that she shared with personal stories that were real and moved my heart. Also at this event, she gave a challenge to all women who were either women’s ministry leaders, writers, speakers, or who hoped to one day be a part of leading women to God through one of these avenues; to attend “She Speaks,” an annual conference hosted by Proverbs 31 ministries. When she extended the offer to join her at “She Speaks,” in June I knew that I had to attend. I felt that the “Women’s Ministry Track” of the conference would help me in my newly appointed role as Co-Leader of women’s ministry at my home church. But, what really intrigued me was the prospect of learning how to hone my writing skills, and to develop what I consider to be my calling in life, by attending classes from the “Writers Track” of the conference.

So, in June of 2007 I packed my bags and headed off to Charlotte, North Carolina to attend “She Speaks.”

I was genuinely impressed by the quality and depth of each presentation that I attended. I was gaining skills, thoughts, and ideas that were sure to help me develop a sound women’s ministry at church, and I was gaining some very beneficial information about the pursuit of a writing career. However, what I was most surprised by was how every presentation and every class I attended, every contact that I made with other women who were also seeking to serve Jesus, I was being challenged to develop and grow my spiritual walk with Jesus.

Before this conference I felt that I had a good relationship with Jesus; during and after the conference I realized that a ‘good’ relationship with Jesus was nowhere near enough! On Saturday evening, after all of the presentations I was wiped out, both physically and emotionally. I knew that God was touching my life in a very profound way. I was exhausted and I wanted to sleep. I realized that I would not be able to sleep until I had a talk with my Lord. So, I fell on my face, on the cold marble tile of my hotel room’s bathroom floor. I began to pray and call out to God. I wanted Him to transform me. I asked Him to renew me and sculpt my broken vessel into what He desires me to be. I realized that what I had really been seeking my entire life was not just to be a ‘so-called’ good Christian and to look good in my service to Him. No! What I desired; what I must have is a very intimate and personal relationship with my Abba Father. What mattered most in life was for me to take Jesus captive as my very breath of life.

As I look back on the events of last year, I can’t help but look forward to this new-year. I know that Jesus and I are on a journey together. I know that He is growing me, and that I am falling more in love with Him each day. I also realize that despite my desire for spiritual growth and my resolve to change, I am still just a fallen sinner and I will continue to struggle to grow my relationship with Christ. There have been many times since that conference in June of last year that I have found myself sharing Lysa TerKeurst’s feelings recorded in her blog posting from Tuesday, January 1st entitled: “The Song of My Rag Tag Soul.” In that blog posting Lysa said: “I have been obedient but only to a certain point. I have been good but I am not holy. I have faith but still struggle with the desire to be put in a position to really have to practice it.” (For the entire article by Lysa go to: http://lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/2008/01/song-of-my-rag-tag-soul.html)

I can so relate to what Lysa said. Maybe you can too. I know that my desire to grow a greater relationship with my savior is strong, but I find myself saying; “Lord, no matter how much I grow in you it will never be enough for me! I want to give you everything, yet I struggle with my human frailties. My greatest prayer is to serve you with great abandon. To allow you to be so real in my life that I love nothing more than taking delight in our bond. I desire to say yes to your every request, and to make you known throughout the world! I desire to have nothing delight me more than singing your praise through the way I live my life.” So, although I have never been one to make new-year’s resolutions, this year I am making some. Here they are.

· I resolve to continue to listen for God to speak to me and,
· I resolve to do my very best to follow His direction.
· I resolve to continue to strive to lay down my selfish desires and cherish every gift God sends my way, as they have been many.
· I resolve to extend grace, grace, grace, to those, also imperfect, souls with whom I find myself doing life with.
· And most of all; I resolve to not beat myself up when I am less than perfect and find that at the end of 2008 I must make these same resolutions all over again. Because, let’s be honest folks; there is not ever going to be a day when I will be perfect at maintaining these resolutions, at least this side of glory.

PS – If you are on a spiritual journey of your own and wish to grow closer to the Lord in 2008, I encourage you to make plans now to attend “She Speaks” this year. I have already related to you how wonderful I think Lysa is, but what you may not be aware of is that this wonderful woman is offering a FULL SCHOLARSHIP to attend “She Speaks” this year. (That’s a $525.00 value folks!!)

So, if you have stayed with me and read this entire article, and would like to attend “She Speaks,” but like me, funds are tight; surf on over to Lysa’s blog at: http://www.lysaterkeurst.blogspot.com/ and read her post dated: Tuesday January 29th, 2008 entitled, “Win A Scholarship to She Speaks 2008.” You will also need to check out the Proverbs 31 website, for more information on the conference. Here is a link to that page: http://www.shespeaksconference.com/ I hope to see you at “She Speaks!” I know that if you are able to attend you will not leave disappointed!

2008-01-18T12:41:00.000-06:00

“Me Do”

My 2 ½ -year-old is forever providing me with little life lessons. Just the other day as I was rushing to go out the door, and trying unsuccessfully to rush him as well, he provided me with another such lesson.

This particular day I was running behind schedule as usual and wanted my son to stand still while I helped him put on his socks, shorts and shirt. My son has just started learning how to dress himself and he particularly enjoys trying to put on his socks. In my haste, I wanted to assist him so that we could shave a few seconds off of the time it was going to take for us to be out the door and on our way. My son became frustrated with me and my attempt to assist him. Finally, he yanked his socks away from me with the proclamation; of “me do!” Of course, he really needed my help, and a few seconds later he said “Mommy do,” but he wanted, and for a second, even demanded his independence.

Don’t we, at times, display a stubborn streak of independence to our loving heavenly father as well? We put our hands on our hips and stomp our foot with the mind-set that we can handle a task on our own strength. Then we stubbornly set about completion of that task without even the slightest consideration for the outcome. Yet, if we are given a little time for reality and a sense of perspective to set in we realize that we need our Father’s help; that is if we want the task to be completed properly.

Sure, God will allow us to muddle through on our own efforts, and make a mess of things, but wouldn’t it be beneficial to us to seek Him and His guidance first? Wouldn’t we save ourselves much heartache and disappointment in life if we would take even the smallest of tasks to Him in prayer first? Isn’t it easier to ask for help first, rather than having to seek forgiveness later?

God is gracious and loving and He wants to be involved in even the smallest detail of our lives. Nothing is too trivial, mundane or unimportant to God. He wants us to be dependent on Him for our every need. Won’t you join me in recommitting every task and all of your effort to Him today? I know that He will bless us for our faithfulness!

2008-01-18T12:40:00.001-06:00

MOM’S BEST GIFT

My Mother was a wonderful Christian woman and her life exemplified the “Wife of Noble Character” found in Proverbs 31. I would like to share with you some of the ways Mom blessed my life.

My mother raised me with Godly spiritual wisdom. Many times I saw my Mom read from God’s word. I realized early on that the Bible was an important part of her life. She was a woman of prayer and she prayed with me at nightly when I was young. She also prayed for her family, her Church, her community and her nation. She was faithful to her Church both in attendance and tithing. Although she struggled with her health for many years before her death she always remained steadfast in her faith and praise for God. She knew her life, no matter how it was to be lived, was in His hands.

Speaking of hands, hers were never idol she toiled all day long. She had the most beautiful flower gardens in the neighborhood. Often her back would be hurting so badly that she could no longer physically walk around to pull the weeds from the flowerbeds. It was those times when you would find my mother crawling around on her hands and knees weeding the flowers.

Mom often wondered how I, of her three daughters, turned out to be her best cook since I never wanted to be in the kitchen when she wanted to teach me. What Mother didn’t know was that even though I pretended not to be interested, I was quietly watching because I wanted to grow up to be a great cook just like her.

Mom was a good steward of money. She was thrifty and knew all about recycling before it was something that was popular. In our house tin foil was recycled over and over, and over, and over again.

I praise God because I was also blessed with an artistic Mother. God chose to bless me with the ability to paint and draw as well. The joy of drawing and painting was a bond we shared during her life.

But of all the gifts that Mom has given me over my life she saved the very best gift for last. I would like to share with you the story of Mom’s best gift.
My Mom’s health steadily declined over all the years of my life. I can’t really remember my Mom ever being truly healthy.

For the last two months of my Mom’s life she was unable to care for herself. By the time we moved Mom into my sister’s home she weighed around 92 pounds. Mom required 24-hour care and my sister needed help. Daily for two months I watched Mom grow weaker and weaker in body, but stronger and stronger in her faith. During this time, as I ministered to Mom’s health needs God began to minister to my heart.

You see I became a Christian when I was thirteen but I lived most of my adult life separated from God’s will. For all intents and purposes I was a Christian in name only. My daily life did not reflect God’s indwelling spirit! I began praying daily and meditating on His word. I would sit by Mom’s bed and sing some of the old hymns to her. On really good days Mom would sing a bar or two with me. I spent a lot of time holding Mom’s hand and praying at her bedside.

The last week of Mom’s life she was in constant pain and had to be kept in a Morphine induced sleep to curb the pain. On the rare occasions when Mom would wake up and open her eyes she was unable to see very much as her eyes had become completely clouded over with a dull yellow film. She had even lost the strength and ability to squeeze my hand, as I would sit by her bedside and talk to her.

On the morning of April 30th, I woke up somehow knowing that Mom would soon be in heaven. As the day wore on Mom’s breathing began to become labored and her heartbeat became erratic. I was monitoring her vitals closely and I decided it was time to call the whole family to her side. With the family present I sat on the side of Mom’s bed and held her hand. I prayed that Jesus would come and take Mom home so her suffering would be over. After I prayed I whispered to Mom, “Jesus is waiting Momma. His arms are open wide. Can you see him? He is waiting to welcome you home. It is okay for you to go now. I’m here holding your hand and I promise I’ll walk with you as far as I am allowed, until you can take the hand of Jesus.”

Once those words left my lips, at 2:43 p.m. on Tuesday April 30, 2002 Mom gave me her most beautiful and wonderful gift. Her eyes opened and miraculously they were completely clear, they were the most brilliant blue that I had ever seen them in her life. She squeezed my hand tightly and firmly one last time then turned her head slightly in my direction and smiled the most sweet and brilliant smile.

Later when discussing the miraculous way Mom’s eyes cleared, my cousin said she believed God allowed Mom’s eyes to clear so she could look at me and give her baby girl one last smile, but I don’t think so. I will always believe Mom’s eyes were cleared and she was smiling because she was looking into the eyes of Jesus as she stood before Him with a healed, pain-free and perfect body.

What a glorious gift my Mom had given me! She had allowed me to walk her into the arms of Jesus. I saw the glory of the Lord reflected back to me in her eyes. Her face shone with His radiant presence.

Over the next few months God continued to tug at my heart. One day I gave in to His call and I prayed that God would forgive me for my disobedience and years of wandering I rededicated my life to serving His kingdom. Thankfully God protected me with His mercy and grace waiting patiently in love for me to come back to Him.

I will never forget my Godly Mother and all of the loving, wonderful gifts she left to me. But the most treasured of all was the gift she shared with me as she took her last breath on this earth. At the moment of her death I saw the Master in her face and I was filled with the desire to serve Him fully all the rest of the days of my life. Thank you Mom, and Thank you Jesus!!!

2008-01-18T12:36:00.000-06:00

Poo-Poo Prayer

My child is a delight; and a challenge. Right now we are in potty-training boot-camp. At least it feels like I have become a Marine drill Sergeant, barking out “Let’s go to the potty!” every 30 minutes like clockwork. (I’ll bet you never thought you would hear someone talking about potty habits in a devotional, did you?)

As those of you with children realize, this potty-training stuff is a big challenge. Not only is it a challenge for our children, but for us adults as well. We are hyper vigilant, always at the ready to pick them up and run. We monitor their intake of liquids and solids, trying to predict, and prevent, an accident from happening. We want so badly for our child to succeed, to master this new task. Mastering potty-training brings them one step closer to independence; and, truth be told, we look forward to not having the cost or clean-up associated with diaper days.

Throughout this struggle, I have gone through a wide range of emotions. Everything from, “I’m not ready for my baby to be this grown up”, to triumphant cheers; and, I ashamedly admit, a fair amount of frustration, even anger.

As I am going through this trying time of potty-training boot-camp, I find that I am doing everything I can think of in an attempt to help my little boy succeed. Yet, I know that this is a goal he must master on his own time line. I am not in control of his body; and at times neither is he.

Once I began to realize the truth of the situation, my attitude began to change. I began to relate this trial to our calling to serve the Lord. Often we see a friend struggling in an area of obedience or faith. We want to jump in and do whatever we can to fix things for them. But, ultimately unless our friend first recognizes their need and desires the end result of change, there is little we can do to help; except cheer from the side-lines, and pray. Our pushing, and suggesting, and monitoring their activities will be of no assistance.

While reflecting on this it occurred to me that the One who can bring about change in the lives His people can even assist my son in mastering the potty. You see Jesus cares about anything and everything that is a concern to us; yes, He even cares about potty-training.

Why hadn’t I thought of this before? I had missed the mark. I failed to include God in my struggle. When I finally figured out that the best source for assistance with our potty-training challenge could be found with simple prayer to God, I began to take my concerns to the Lord. I even let my son know that “Mommy is praying that God will help you to be a big boy, and put your poo-poo in the potty.”

Not long after I told my son that I was praying for him, one night during our nightly ritual, (read a book, pray, sing, rub his head) when I asked my son what he wanted to pray about that night, he thought for a moment, then with a beaming face said, “Pee-pee, poo-poo, in the potty. Get candy!”

You see my son was focused on the immediate goal of getting the “Tootsie-Roll” that we had placed on the back of the toilet as motivation to for him to “put his poo-poo in the potty.” However, his prayer request gave me the vision that soon, hopefully very soon, I would have the opportunity to teach him an important life lesson about prayer and God’s awesome love. And wouldn’t you know God answered my little boy’s prayer the following evening. My son managed to put his poo-poo in the potty for the first time, and he earned that sweet treat he had been longing for.

I rejoiced with him; clapping and saying “Great job”, and then, just a short time later, I cupped his sweet, sticky, little face in my hands. I seized the teaching opportunity and I told him, “Precious Gabe, today God answered your prayer. Today, God paused just for you and helped you to put your poo-poo in the potty. Never forget this day! Never forget that God loves you and He answers your prayers!”

My sisters in Christ, just as God answered the prayer of this precious little boy, He patiently waits for you to lay your cares at His feet. No matter what your struggles or challenges are; no matter how big or how small, God cares about your concerns. He doesn’t want you to be anxious; rather He wants you to petition Him with thanksgiving, being certain that God will hear your cries; and that He will answer them. You too are His precious child. Won’t you give Him the chance to demonstrate His love for you today by taking everything to God in prayer?

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (NIV)

Luke 18:16 But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” (NIV)

Ephesians 6:18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. (NIV)

2007-11-19T14:52:00.000-06:00

GOD IS CALLING

I have been pondering many things in life lately. The biggest thought on my mind however, is this, “How can I better serve God?” I have such a desire to give God my best every day and in every way! But, sometimes I get bogged down with the details of how to best go about serving Him.

So, I decided to do what any woman in my position should do. I decided to pray, and pray, and then pray some more. I know that God has great plans to use me. After all He told me so in Jeremiah 29:11 when He said, “I know the plans I have for you, . . . plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. (NIV)”

I also know that right now my desire to really know the Lord is a driving force in my life. Further, I know that He has placed a calling on my life. So, I prayed and asked God to give me a life verse. I wanted to know what God would reveal. This is what He spoke to me, “I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will guide you with knowledge and understanding. (Jeremiah 3:15, NLT)”

At first, I really struggled with this verse. I questioned how God would work in my life through this revelation. I wanted to know who the “shepherd” would be that would come into my life and guide me with knowledge and understanding. For some time, I got bogged down with an error in interpretation. I was looking for someone to feed me, when what God was really trying to tell me was, “that I was to be that shepherd!” God was calling me to step up to the plate and share what He has revealed during my journey with Him. Oh my, talk about becoming filled with terror!

As I began to wrestle with this new wrinkle in my revelation, I thought to myself, God I have the first part of that verse down. I really do wish to be your shepherd and I desire to seek your heart. Your heart of service, Your heart of love, Your heart of compassion, Your heart of patience, Your heart for the things that will give You honor; but dear Lord I am so lacking in knowledge and understanding. Then the arguing, whining and complaining started in. “Lord, are you sure that this is to be my life verse?” “Lord, do you really know what you are asking me to do?” “Don’t you remember when I . . .?”

Of course, God was not going to let me weasel out of my responsibility, and little by little I began to realize that God was not asking me to be a walking encyclopedia of the Bible. He was not asking me to be a biblical “know-it-all.” He did not call me to understand all of His ways. He made it clear in I Timothy 3:16, the mystery of godliness is great. However, He did call me to share the love of Jesus with others, therefore making me one of His shepherds.

Having just finished co-leading, a nine-week Bible study utilizing the book “What Happens When Women Say Yes to God,” by Lysa TerKeurst, I am once again struck by the fact that I, in all my human frailty and failings, have been called by God Most High to lead a Women’s Ministry program. As the women who faithfully attended that study can testify, I am not nearly perfect, nor am I a walking encyclopedia of the Bible! However, through the study I did my best to share with the women what God has been working on in my life. I tried to share my faults transparently, and share how God was so faithful to see me through.

Hopefully, the ladies that shared this time with me realized that one does not need to be perfect to serve the Lord. His only requirement is that we willingly share His love with the world. Your calling may not be to lead a women’s ministry program, or to write devotionals. God could be calling you to cook a meal, collect food donations, form a praise band, host an in-home Bible study, sign-up for the church clean-up day, or any number of other ministry opportunities.

I would like to leave you with a bit of encouragement to join me on my journey, as I humbly “say yes” to God. Won’t you agree, with me to, accept our assignment, both the seemingly insurmountable, and the everyday mundane?
I ask that you join me in prayer for discernment and direction as God continues to refine us and adapt us to do the work of “our calling!” Please pray that we will have ears to hear and feet to follow His perfect plan!

2007-11-14T10:34:00.000-06:00

Looking for a Better Way to Share The Joy of Christmas?

By now, you have probably realized that I just love my sisters-in-Christ from Proverbs 31 Ministry. So, it is my honor to promote a new e-book written by Marybeth Whalen. It is entitled, A Recipe For Christmas Joy. You can read an excerpt from the book at her web page (look for the posting from Tuesday, November 13th). Marybeth includes a link to order a copy for the low cost of $9.95, securely using Pay-Pal, on the right sidebar of her blog. Be sure to check it out, and allow Marybeth to assist you, as together you infuse your home with the "true" joy of Christmas this season.

Follow this link and check it out: http://www.marybethwhalen.com/

2007-11-07T09:45:00.000-06:00

Time For A Word (or Three), From Me

Usually, you will only find me posting some type of devotional about how I see God working on my heart and life. But, just lately, I have been feeling pressure to write. Just write, about whatever comes to mind. So, today I endeavor to do just that.

The other thing I usually try to do in my writing is to promote a positive attitude, to encourage and, or to bring to light how I am growing in my walk with the Lord. Alas, with this posting I am not sure that what I have on my mind to share today will actually encourage or lift anyone up.

The other morning I woke up after suffering a horrible dream. No, it wasn’t a scary dream; at least not in the typical “Halloween type of horror” that one usually associates with bad or scary dreams. Yet, for me the dream was terrifying, and left me shaken. In fact now a day later I am still feeling the effects of that ‘silly ole’ dream.”

For those of you who may be unaware, I suffer from early onset Parkinson’s disease. Since the time of my diagnosis I have been very accepting of this fact, at least I have thought I have been. I resolved from the very beginning that this new wrinkle in my life would not weigh me down with worry or fear. After all, I do firmly believe that God holds my life perfectly and lovingly in His hand and He will never weigh me down with more than I can handle. Because of this belief, it has been my fervent prayer that God would use this disease to allow me to be a better ambassador of His word. In other words, that God would use what the evil one intended for ill to be instead used to glorify my precious Jesus! I have prayed to carry His banner, even in the face of Parkinson’s disease, with “Strength and Dignity.” (From hence, the name of my web blog.)

Now, with all of that said, back to this ‘silly dream.’ In my dream I had apparently taken a job with a new employer and apparently this new job was located in a hospital, hotel, or some other environment that utilized an in-house laundry department. (That will be a key factor as my story progresses.)

One day at work, in this new job, I found myself “off” medication. (Just an explanation for all of you who know very little about PD. Parkinson’s medications are known to only work for a period of time, before the symptoms of the illness return. When one is getting close to time for the next dosage of medication, one can experience increased symptoms of varying severity. This period is known as being “off” medication.) In my dream, I found myself unable to speak clearly, and unable to communicate via writing as my writing is illegible even on a good day. I also found myself disoriented and unable to locate my new office space. As I was walking around, or shuffling around; picture Tim Conway as the old man from the series “Laugh In,” if you are old enough to remember that 1970’s show. As I shuffled around I was searching for someone to help me.

People would walk by me; shake their head and walk away muttering under their breath about “drunken old woman,” or other malicious comments. Nobody wanted to help me. Nobody even tried to understand me. And, I was becoming more and more panicky by the moment, which in turn was increasing my stress level. And, the stress was amping my symptoms up, and up and up. With this progression of symptoms I began to look more and more like a drunken old lady or a freak in a circus side show.

Finally, I thought I had gotten through to two generous men. One gently took my arm and began to escort me. I thought that he was taking me back to my office. They took me through a set of elevator doors and selected a floor button. Then when the doors opened they escorted me down a hallway then, less than gently, one of the men shoved me through a doorway. The door did not look familiar to me, but remember I was disoriented. I was dealing with what I lovingly call ‘park-fog.’ I was just praying that I was in the right place.

Immediately upon crossing the threshold of the door, the man slammed the door behind me, and the door clicked locked. I realized I was not in my safe office space, but rather was in a steamy laundry area. I turned to try to leave, but found the door locked. I tried to scream out, but my tongue was thick in my mouth and all I managed was a grunt and a moan. I heard one of the men loudly tell the other, as they walked away down the hall, “Stupid retards, they escape from the laundry room all the time. I don’t know why they hire those people anyway.”

At this point I woke up with my heart racing and the right side of my body in full tremor mode. In fact even after my morning medication dosage, I spent a majority of the day dealing with tremors. Obviously, this ‘silly dream’ had shaken me, quite literally!

So, what, you may ask, is the point to this story?

The point, at least for me, is that I have realized that I have not yet come to full acceptance that I have a progressive neurological disease. I have not fully come to terms with how this diagnosis is going to affect my life and the life of my husband and young son. I have been putting on a happy face and moving forward as if this disease is a very minor inconvenience in my life. To be honest, and accurate, on most days that is how I feel. My medications keep my symptoms down to a very tolerable level. I do have some pain to deal with every day, but what person past the age of forty doesn’t?

The problem is that for the past few weeks now my symptoms seem to be ramping up at an accelerated speed. In the past two days, since I had this ‘silly dream,’ they have been even greater. I am not sure if this occurrence is psychological, related to the increase in stress level at my job, due to lack of appropriate rest, or one of a thousand other reasons. But, to be truthful with you, it has spooked me! I didn’t like the ‘me’ in my dream. I don’t want to become that “drunken old woman.”

Remember, I cling to my faith in the Lord. I know that He has a plan for my life and I trust fully in His omnipotence. I trust that He will see me through no matter what my life looks like. So, I have been questioning myself, “Why did that dream have such a powerful effect on you?”

I am not sure if it is vanity, not wanting to be made fun of, or it could be that I do not want to be a burden to any one and I don’t like the idea of having to depend heavily on people to give me assistance. Could that be pride rearing its ugly head? Maybe I am dealing with greed. Not being willing to give up what my life looks like for an alternate, weak, un-healthy body. Possibly envy is part of the equation. Maybe, I am envious of others who do not have a progressive disease raging through their body.

I could probably relate the possible “Why’s” to any or all of the seven deadly-sins however the bottom line is that I need to give my worry and fear to the Lord. I am told in Matthew 6:27 and again in Luke 12:25, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life. (NIV)” In His word, God has told me that I, in my power cannot change this situation. Why am I fretting over this? God loves me. One of the verses that I cling to is Jeremiah 29:11. It reads, “For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. (NIV)” Who am I to question the Lord?

So, I am working on total surrender of everything in my life, yes, even my health, to God and His plans. My life is His. My health belongs under His control. My marriage, my children, my work, my future and in fact everything about me must be surrendered to his authority.

“Dear Lord, assist me in surrendering everything to you. I realize that I am going to have days where I try to assume control. I know that even my very best thoughts, plans and ideas for how my life should look pale in comparison to your vision for my life. I just need to get out of the way and let you take the wheel. That is my greatest desire. I don’t want the bumper sticker of my life to read, “Jesus is my co-pilot,” rather let mine read, “Jesus is my pilot.” I want you in the correct seat in my life. First place, today, tomorrow and forever.”

Footnote:

Okay, so I guess this turned into a devotional after all. I must admit to you that was not how I had planned to write this article. In my original plan, I wanted to complain, even gripe a little and possibly elicit a little sympathy from you.

Well, God has an awesome way of utilizing my fingers when I allow Him to do so. Therefore, you can save the sympathy for someone who doesn’t have the saving knowledge of our precious Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. For me, just writing this article has been freeing. It has helped me to put my life back into the proper perspective. I am not going to lie to you and say that my health position has reverted to my ‘pre-silly-dream state,” however, I am able to sign off now, feeling blessed, refreshed, more positive, and ready to face whatever God sends my way. Praise God, for He is good all the time!

2007-10-29T09:11:00.000-05:00

"The Interview with God"

I was led to a website today that is moving and beautiful, I just had to share! Click on the link: http://www.theinterviewwithgod.com/ Once you are on the web site click, "view presentation," watch the show, enjoy and become refuled and inspired.

2007-09-24T11:20:00.000-05:00

NEW DEVOTIONAL

Hello! I just wanted to let everyone know that I have finally published the latest devotional that I have written. You may find it here: http://wegrowwomensministry.blogspot.com

2007-09-19T10:12:00.000-05:00

Seeing God

Well, this is not the post that I spoke of in my writing yesterday, but I just wanted to share how God is at work.

We have been trying to sell my husbands truck for about nine weeks. We had placed it in a parking lot along a very busy roadway in our neighboorhood with a "for-sale" sign in the window. In the eight weeks that it sat in that parking lot we had one phone call about it. We were quickly becoming discouraged. We believed that it was God's will for us to sell this vehicle as we had worked out a deal to buy a larger truck, one that all three of us can ride in together, from my father-in-law. We are trying to be fiscally responsible with our money and not go into debt for this vehicle upgrade.

This week we moved the truck to another location, not in our neighboorhood thanks to the assistance of one of our friends. In the three days that this truck was in this new location, there have been countless calls; and praise God we think we have a buyer! And, as a bonus we are getting the price we needed.

God's timing is perfect. He knows our every need. He saw our faithfulness and has answered our prayer. I believe that this happened because we held fast to the right attitude. When we began to become discouraged we didn't get upset. We didn't begin to question 'why'. We just held fast to our faith and kept on praying.

Then as a final punctuation to this answer to prayer we learned today that it is going to cost less to transfer the title and purchase the tag that we had originally planned.

It is amazing how when we search for God and keep an open heart, He is so faithful to show us His love and He allows us to see His hand at work in our lives.

2007-09-18T11:08:00.000-05:00

WONDERING?

Just in case you have been wondering, yes, I am still alive and kicking. In fact, I have been kicking more lately that I would like. Kicking and screaming, due to factors that I have allowed access to my daily life.

I have several ideas for some writing kicking around in my mind too. I am committing that I will make the time to put those thoughts down on paper soon. Once I complete my mission, I promise I will share with you.

2007-08-31T11:03:00.000-05:00

Lately it seems that I have been running a marathon and my body is better suited for only short dashes. (Very short!) Therefore, I have not kept up with my committment to my writing. Today, however, I did find something on another web blog that truly touched my heart and I just wanted to share it.

Follow the link and watch this. It is very moving, albeit kinda long, so stick with it until the end. You'll be glad you did!

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ee73e63418003b47d7d5

Blessings to all!

Butler Boy

2007-08-07T10:17:00.001-05:00

For many long months this precious child of God would pray at night, "be a Butner boy." (At 2 1/2 he is unable to pronounce Butler correctly. LOL!)

Praise God the almighty Father of love and the giver of all good things, this little boy's prayer is being answered on Friday, August 17, 2007, exactly 365 days after he came to live in our home,

He will officially become a "Butler boy."

"Dear Lord, give his father and I wisdom, compassion and love to raise this 'your child' in a manner which he will grow to know You. I pray this through the shed blood of Jesus Christ, my redeemer. AMEN!"

Carried Along by The Spirit

2007-08-01T14:20:00.000-05:00

As I was reading from God’s precious word today, part of a verse of scripture captured my heart and set my mind on a fanciful journey. The words I read were from II Peter I:21, “For prophecy never had its origin in the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.” (NIV – emphasis mine)

Although this passage is written by Peter and is referring to prophecy spoken by men, through the Holy Spirit, as I read the words “carried along by the Holy Spirit,” a different sort of picture painted itself across my vision. I saw my life, and how it could be; no, how it should be, if I would take my selfish desires out of play and turn every issue, even my every breath over to direction by the Holy Spirit.

If I were to live this way how much more would I accomplish? How much more loving would I act? Would I react to people and their needs with more compassion and offer much more grace, grace, grace? Would my selfish desires begin to take a backseat to selflessly serving the Lord and seeking to promote His kingdom?

This same chapter of God’s word gives us me even more insight and wisdom for living a Spirit filled life. II Peter 1: 3 – 4 says: “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.” (NIV ~ emphasis mine)

I can see it, I can feel it; dear Lord I can almost taste the sweetness of it! Living a life of Godliness; a life where I can escape the corruption in the world caused by my evil desires! But, the key to it all is found in “Him.” Through the knowledge of Him! To get there I must read His word, I must converse with Him, I must humble myself to listen and then act upon what the Holy Spirit speaks to me.

This is no easy task because before long, sometimes before I have even closed my Bible, or finished my prayer, life comes along and smacks me in the face! I’m human; I struggle with anger, envy, selfishness, pettiness, greed, etc., etc. I am going to sin. I am going to stumble and fall.

What I have learned over the pages and years of my life is that it is okay to fall. The goal is to not allow satan to keep me down long. I am to reduce the time curve that I allow myself to stay wrapped in sin and away from my precious Savior’s will for my life. When I fall, I must confess quickly, my very life depends upon my restoration of God’s grace. I do not want to stay in the dark for long. I need the living water that Christ alone provides. I need my comforter; my guide the Holy Spirit; not just today, but every day, every minute.

“Oh Lord, you know that I desire to serve you as one who is “carried along by the Holy Spirit!” Soften my heart and shape my mind to receive the words that the Holy Spirit whispers softly to me. May I have the courage and conviction to act upon the direction that I am given. Help me to filter every thought, every desire through You! May I always seek to serve only you!”

What's In A Title?

2007-07-31T13:39:00.000-05:00

When I was choosing a title for my personal web page I struggled with finding just the right thing. I wanted something personal, something that revealed a little about me. Finally, I decided to take two words from my "life-verse."

Proverbs 31:25
"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come."

This was my chosen life verse, not because I always manage to live my life with strength and dignity, nor because I am always able to laugh, no matter what my circumstance; rather I choose it because these are things that I aspire to.

I have lived my life as if I were studying at the school of hard knocks, so I feel that most of the time I do fairly well with the strength portion. At least, I have now learned to rely on the one "true" source of strength, the Lord Jesus Christ. However, having been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease in early 2006, my prayer has become that I will handle the progression of this disease, and in fact my whole life, in a dignified manner. This is an area that God and I are still refining. For me being dignified means that every situation in life must be filtered through Jesus. I must ask myself "How would Jesus respond?" And, the laughing part . . . well some days I just want to have a pity party and cry, cry, cry! I used to think that I had a pretty awesome sense of humor, and I probably did have a worldly sense of humor. Now, that part of my life verse speaks more to my ability to retain joy in the Lord; no matter what life throws my way.

The Lord and I have been on an amazing journey together and I look forward to what He will teach me next. I continue to pray that He will allow me to know Him better, and to serve Him fully.

Follow God

2007-07-31T13:23:00.000-05:00

"And I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will guide you with knowledge and understanding." Jeremiah 3:15

The verse above has become one of my favorites. It resonates deep within my soul. It is the desire of my heart that I live my life as a "shepherd after God's heart" and that I guide other women to Him through the knowledge and understanding that He has given me. Without God, I am nothing! All I have, am or hope to become, I owe to my loving Savior.

My greatest desire is to see other women grow in their walk with the Lord. I pray that God will use me as His instrument to instruct women, encourage women, and to lead women to lay everything at the feet of Jesus. Too often, the things of this world vie for our attention. We become too busy, too burdened and then too stressed out and too tired. I want women to learn to shift gears, shift perspective, to gain focus on the eternal, not the immediate.

I want my sisters to know that my God is able! No matter what station in life, no matter how rich or how poor, no matter if they are young or mearly young in spirit; if we live our lives for the Lord, putting Him first in everything, he will meet our every need.

My God is faithful!

His Love is Amazing!

2007-07-27T21:47:00.000-05:00

I stand firmly amazed at the depth of God's love for us. The way I see His handprints all over my life right now just makes me want to sing His praise!

I admit, that lately I have been struggling with some difficult things in my life, but I serve a loving God and He keeps speaking to my heart. He encourages me when I am down, and he holds me when I cry. He is my everything; my all in all.

God is moving in our Women's Ministry. He is answering our prayers. I know that this is happening because we have made seeking His will in prayer our priority. "Father, I worship you. I seek your face, and pray for your guidance. Lead me, and lead this ministry. May you be lifted up and glorified. May I serve as your handmaid. May my answer always be, Here I am, send me."

My Personal Blog

2007-07-27T08:29:00.000-05:00

Well, I finally gave in to my desire to start my own blog page. I have the wegrowwomensministry blog that I keep updated for the women of my church, but I wanted a place where I could record some of my thoughts and ramblings in regard to my walk with the Lord. The Lord is so good and He is teaching me so many things. So, I begin this journey.